A long way
by Layla1995
Summary: Spencer and Toby have kissed a few times now, she has turned her back on her mom for him and she really likes him. But will it work out with all the problems: Jenna, A, ...? Spencer/Toby
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: The first steps

Leaning away from Toby Cananaugh, whom she was currently hugging, Spencer Hastings looks over her shoulder to her mother, her sister Melissa and Mrs. Abrahms a few meters away, staring at her in disaproval and disgust. A little fear is visible in their facial expressions.

But for once, Spencer doesn't care. Tobys arms are still around her and she feels safe; for the first time she can remember she doesn't care what her mother thinks of her.

"Are you ready to go?" Toby whispers into her ear.

"As I'll ever be," Specncer replies as she grabs the offered hand and turns her back once and for all on her mother and sister.

Two weeks later Spencer's sitting in her room thinking about Toby and herself after this turning point involving her mother and sister. Instead of focusing on the task at hand, which is doing her homework and preparing a project, she's busy remembering the great moments she's spent with Toby so far. She couldn't be hapier – well, she could if it wasn't for A but in her world, she couldn't be.

Smiling, Spencer remembers the night she actually really began to notice the feelings she'd developed for him.

At the hotel room, a couple of weeks back, they had placed scrabble and he'd beat her by far – in fact, as he'd already told her back then, he'd kicked her ass – that fact alone made him special as nobody had been able to beat her at this in years; but what had really made him unique was that he'd been the first and only one she hadn't been pissed at for it.

Toby, getting up from the bed after he'd announced his victory to an astonished Spencer, had walked over to his bag and pulled a pair of pajamas from it.

Seeing the surprised expression on her face, he'd then added:

"Just kidding!"

When he'd grinned, the dimple on his chin seemed to be even more prominent. But of course, he didn't grin very often.

While he'd thrown the top of the Pjs over to her, Spencer had noticed with a little satisfaction that he had smiled with her more often than she had ever seen him do. Then again, he didn't really have any reason to smile but Spencer was determinded not to dwell on that further that night.

While he'd gone into the bathroom and closed the door as far as it was possible (because it was broken), Specer had once again focused on the scrablleboard, dwelling and pondering how he could habe possibly beaten her at a game she knew so well.

When she'd, rather accidently, looked up, he'd been in the middle of taking off his shirt and she hadn't been able to help notiicng his really impressive upper body.

Thinking that she could be really lucky that he hadn't seen her watching him change, Spencer blinks and comes back to the reality of her dark room; it used to be a safe place but it isn't anymore, not really. Not with A and everything.

Even though she knows she should really be doing her homework, Spencer continues thinking about Toby and how hard life must be for him. She really begins to be able to imagine what life must have been like for him these last couple of months with people dodging him all over town for two crimes he didn't commmit, one of them being murder.

People crossed the street when they saw you and damaged things on your property.

Sighing, because she had been one of the people to make his life worse, Spencer lies back on her bed. He's so misunderstood. She still doesn't know how he was capable of forgiving her after all she's done to him and his family.

His family – Jenna. Spencer doesn't seem to be able to figure her out.

She shakes her head, getting rid of the memory of Tobys blind step sister.

She knows she's in love with him. His way of being there for her no matter what, of believing in her makes her feel so much stronger and above all, safe.

"__How could I have been so blind in the past? __", she askes herself, he might be one of the most correct and honest people she had ever met. And despite of what you might think if you first met him, he was loving, trustworthy, and incredibly strong, handling everything that had happend to him and -at least the fire-would stay with him and affect him for the rest of his life.

He is a complex person but only if you don't look at him properly. After everything that was done to him-partly also by her-she doesn't know how he's able to still trust anyone at all, or let anyone near him. But he does, and she's thankful to that.

The next day, Spencer walks down the stairs, when suddenly she hears her mother and farther downstairs. They sound like they're having a fight.

"...doesn't have a good influence on Spencer. Not at all. He's dangerous. And creepy. He scares me," her mom is just saying.

"__I bet they're talking about Toby." ___Spencer thinks, gritting her teeth and balling her fists to stop from making her presence known to her parents._

"I know, the Cavanaugh-kid scares me, too," Spencer's dad replies, "And I already kicked him out of my house once because I don't want him near our daughter more than you do. But Spencer is a clever girl, isn't she? Why would she spend time with him if she thought he was dangerous?"

Spencer suddenly feels grateful to him.

"Because she can't tell, she is in love with him! I saw her kiss him the other night at the festival. It almost gave me a heartattack. And I'm not the only one who saw it. People all over the town think she's going crazy. And hanging out with Toby Cavanaugh doesn't make it any better," her mom's voice is getting louder and higher, like always when she's panicked or furious.

"I know. Trust me, I know. And Spencer is clever, she's going to figure out soon enough that he's dangerous and bad for her. It'll just take her some time but she'll come to her senses," her dad reasons.

The surge of sympathy Spencer had just felt for her farther disappears as soon as she hears those words coming out of his mouth.

"Maybe you're right. But I can't just watch her run into her own miserie. I'm jumpy every second when I know she's with him," her mother explains.

And they walk off, leaving Spencer breathless, angry and disgusted on the stairs.

When Spencer first enters the school that day, she feels people sneeking glances at her. She nervously brushes her hair behind her ears, wondering idly how Toby was capable of bearing this kind of thing when it was even worse for him. She begins looking for Aria, Hanna or Emily.

But it's none of her friends that she spots first. It's Jenna, carefully walking with her guiding stick and looking as scary as always.

Even though she knows that Jenna can't see her, she still turns and takes a detour to her locker because Jenna-who really freaks her out-seems to have the frightening ability to sense those around her and their feelings and fears.

She spends time with her friends, chatting with them and focusing on her classes but she can't wait to be home and spend some time with Toby.

When she gets home, she sends him a text message:

"****Do you want to come around to study? -Spencer.****"

While she is waiting for an aswer, Spencer sits down on her bed and gets her things out. Because she doesn't know what else to do, she starts doing her homework.

More than half and hour has past and Toby still hasn't answerd or come over. She's giving up on the idea of spending a nice and fun afternoon with her boyfriend.

"__Can you even call it that? Boyfriend. Does he really see me as his girlfriend?"__, she thinks, wondering and running a hand through her long, dark curls.

Spencers phone buzzes and she takes it out, it's a message from Toby:

"****Sry it took me so long, Jenna was watching. I'll be over soon. -Toby****".

Spencer walks downstairs to get something for them to drink. Coming back upstairs, she shoves aside most of the things that are lying on her bed and the armchair, and puts them away.

Of course she kind of hopes he will sit on the bed with her, but what if he doesn't want to?

A knock on the slidedoor causes her to flinch. She quickly takes a look at her big, framed mirror, straightens her shirt and slides open the slidedoor, stepping aside so Toby can come in.

He's wearing a pair of dark jeans and a plain white T-shirt that fits snugly to his muscled chest. His hair falls over his forhead in its very own toby-ish way that makes him look so good to her.

"Hi!" she says, smiling broadly at him, not bothering to hide how happy his presence makes her.

"Hey!" His smile is a bit more timid but his blue eyes light up and the dimple on his chin shows again. He bends down to kiss her and yet again she notices how much she loves the way he kisses her and holds her in his arms as he does.

It's only after the kiss that she realizes that he is carrying something. A book.

"What did you tell Jenna-where does she think you are?", Spencer asks and gestures for him to take a seat.

"It's not like I owe Jenna a explanition. I don't have to tell her where I'm going, Spencer." He sits on the edge of the bed.

"Since I don't really study, I brought a book," he explains, as he lifts it up a bit for her to see.

"How thoughtful of you.", she teases and smiles at him before sitting back on her bed, so she can bend over her history book.

They stay quiet for the next couple of minutes when Spencer realizes she can't really concentrate on her studies because all she can think about is Toby sitting next to her, on the edge of her bed, reading.

"Do you maybe want to sit down somewhere more comfortable?", she asks, a little nervous. Toby looks up from his book, his blue eyes examine her for a moment. Then he takes off his sneakers and scoots over to the head of the bed, invitingly opening his arms.

She is glad that he does that, because she wouldn't have been sure of what to do if he hadn't.

Smiling, Spencer takes her things in one arm and carefully leans back against his chest. He wraps his arms around her and holds the book so he can still read.

Spencer can't help but notice how well she seems to fit in his arms. And how safe she feels there.

"Are you comfortable?", she asks and turns her head to see his face as he answers. But he just smiles and nods. They go back to being quiet.

"__We're each doing our own thing but we are still together. That is the way it's supposed to be, it's perfect!__"", she thinks before going back to concentrating on her homework and her studying.

They both flinch when his phone starts ringing. He checks the display and frowns at what he sees. "Jenna," he mutters.

"Go ahead, take it!", Spencer looks at him, "It's better that way."

He picks up his phone.

"What do you want, Jenna?" Spencer hears Jenna's voice on the other end of the line, slightly modified: "Where are you?"

Toby lifts his eyebrows at Spencer who even holds her breath.

"Its none of your business, Jenna."

"Yes, it is! I...," Jenna answers, her voice growing angrier.

"No, it's not. And I'll tell you once again: Leave me alone!" Toby says and than hangs up on his stepsister.

Spencer can tell by the serious look and the frown that he isn't sure that what he did was right. "Don't worry about her," Spencer says, to calm herself as well as him, she also doesn't want this afternoon ruined by Jenna who has destroyed enough already.

He's frowning worriedly; Spencer doesn't really like it.

"You know Jenna," he says and Spencer looks down. Yes, she knows Jenna.

"I don't think she knows you're here," she says anyway. Toby nods, looking thoughtful, but not adding anything to the conversation.

The pair goes on studying in silence for another hour before Spencer sits up and stretches.

"Do you want to take a break and go for a walk?"

He nods, a small smile playing on his lips and they grab their jackets and leaves the house.

As they walk a little into the forest behind Spencer's house, Toby takes Spencer's hand and runs the other through his think, brown hair, causing it to stick out in every possible direction. Spencer smiles at him, allowing herself to be happy.

It feels great holding his hand, secure, right.

Suddenly, she spots a purple flower on the side of the path they're walking on.

"I love these flowers!" she calls out in enthusiasm and drags Toby with her to kneel down beside the plant.

"I keep on forgetting the name of it though," she adds, causing Toby to chuckle while they both examine the plant, Spencer smiling at it. She doesn't know why but this flower has always fascinated her a lot.

"I guess, there are a lot of things I don't know about you," Toby muses as he stands back up. Spencer turns and crosses the path to look at another one of the purple flowers. When she stands back up, he's right behind her and captures her cheek in his callosed palm. Spencer leans her head into his touch, her heart speeds and a warmth spreads through her body in contentment.

He carefully and softly sticks the flower he has in his hand behind her ear and into her hair.

"Beautiful," he whispers. For a moment they stare at each other. Spencer sees the emotion in his clear blue eyes and doesn't ever want to look away.

"I don't know that much about you either. For example, I never knew you were such a romantic," she smiles up at him, her arms around his neck, her body pressed against his. He merely shrugs and smiles and they continue walking, closely pressed together, his arm around her shoulder, hers around his waist.

While they walked they talked about everything and anything, about each other, trying to fill some of the gaps.

When Toby drops Spencer off at her house they spend some time just staring at the full moon.

"Toby?", Spencer askes, getting a little nervous because of what she is about to ask him.

"Yes?", he looks down on her, his blue eyes glittering in the moonlight.

"I was wondering...", Spencer trails off, too scared to acutally say it out loud.

"You can ask me anything, Spencer." Toby reassures her, looking at her with a mixture of curiosity and kindness in his eyes.

*****A/N: So guys, this was the first chapter! I hope you liked it. Don't worry, there will be more interesting things happening that don't exactly relate to PLL. I just needed to get started softly. :) Im sorry for all phrasing and spelling mistakes, english isnt my mothertounge. I decided to write a story in it anyway. Pls review and pls tell me what u honestly think of it! Like bad things, too. Id wanna try to improve my story as I go along! So keep reading!****

****XO****

****Layla*****


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Loosing her mind?

Spencer looks down, blushing.

"Never mind.", she finally murmurs. She just doesn't know how to say this without sounding completely pathetic and idiotic.

Toby looks at her questioningly but she just repeats: "Never mind." He smiles and nods, he was never one to pressure.

"_Coward!"_, Spencer thinks to herself.

"Well, good night then!", Toby says and kisses her. As always, his kiss makes her forget everything else. When they lean away from each other again-Toby's hands still on her waist-she suddenly sees something golden streak over the sky, a shooting star.

"Look!", she whispers, excitement in her voice. Toby turns around, and together they watch the shootingstar disappear.

"_Please don't let me be such a coward anymore!"_, Spencer wishes. Then she looks up at the boy that is still holding her, he smiles down at her, his blue eyes sparkle.

"What did you wish for?", he asks.

"I'm not supposed to tell you that.", Spencer grins but she can feel a light blush warm up her cheeks again. He just kisses her.

"For this to go on is what I am wishing for.", he whispers, hugs her briefly and pecks her lips.

"Good night, Spencer."

"Good night, Toby!" He starts to walk away, but turns around again,

"I had fun today."

"I did, too.", Spencer smiles and watches Toby walk away and disappear into the darkness, before she closes the slide door.

"_Why didn't I just ask him the question?_", Spencer thinks to herself, "_What is so hard about asking him what he is seeing me as? Friend with benefits? girlfriend?_ _Or nothing? _"

The problem is, she really wants to know, but she would feel pathetic asking him. She didn't think that having a boyfriend-because she certainly thought of him as her boyfriend-would leave her so insecure.

Spencer slowly sinks onto her bed. She collects her school books and puts them away, trying not to think of it any more since it wouldn't ger her any further.

When she is finally done cleaning her room, her mom appeares in the door frame. "Hey sweetie, you're still awake?"

Spencer nods, looking at her mom as she crosses the room to sit with her on the bed. She definatley looks like a lawyer in her black, elegant and strict costume and with the severe expression on her face. Her hair is the only thing not really matching the picture, it falls easily down on her shoulders.

"It's ok, mom, I'm going to sleep."

"Is everything alright?", her mom asks and slightly brushes her hand over Spencers dark, curly hair.

"Of course it is, mom.", Spencer answers. She is happy, except for the thing with A and Ian's death(and everyone thinking she's either crazy or a liar), but that isn't something she would tell her mom about. Talking about A to anyone but her friends would make her look even more crazy. She had opened up about Ian before(when he was still alive)-and look where that had gotten her. Now, with him still "missing" he's a no-go to even mention in the Hastings' house.

"Ok, then. Goodnight, sweetie.", her mom smiles and walks out of the room. After changing and brushing her teeth, Spencer finally collapses onto her bed and, thinking of Toby, falls asleep with a smile on her face.

The next morning, when she walks into her school, she can see the girls sticking their heads together with worried expressions on their faces.

She quickly joins them.

"Did anything happen that involves A?", Spencer asks about the only thing she can think off that causes the girls to look as worried as they do.

"Should we?", Aria asks, looking questiongly at the other girls. Hanna nods, Emily shrugs, looking worried.

"What is it? What did A do now?", Spencer asks, she's imagining the worst already.

"About that...", Aria says, "We were talking about this and we kind of...". Seeking help, the black-haired girl looks at Hanna and Emily.

"We think that you're developing a kind of...", she trailes off, struggling.

"Obsession.", Emily finishes, looking apologetically at Spencer who stares at them with her mouth falling open.

"Me? An obsession? With A?" She can't believe it.

"It's kind of all you've been talking about.", Aria says. Spencer can tell by the expression on her face that this is the reaction they had been scared about.

"Well, don't you want to know who A is? And who killed Allie?", Spencer askes, her disbelief quickly melting into fury. She has to work really hard to keep her voice down.

"Of course we do, but since A seems to always be at least one step ahead of us...", Emily trailes of, as if she is hoping that Spencer understands. But she doesn't, and she's really getting angry!

Hanna, Emily and Aria have been talking about this the whole time. They gossiped about her because they were scared of what Spencer was going to say, but doesn't she deserve to be treated honestly?

"You thought we could just let it drop?", she finishes Emilys sentence.

"That's not what we meant, Spencer, please listen!", Aria murmurs, hurriedly trying to calm her friend.

"What did you think then?", Spencer snaps, this hurts, she's just learning to deal with the fact that the whole town thinks she is either crying for attention by lying or is really, mentally sick. She's also trying to cope with her family not believing what she says. And now her friends, too? It's just too much.

"Now calm down, Spence! No need to go off in our faces like that!", Hanna says, getting angry too and tossing her long, blonde hair over her shoulder, as if trying to say:

"_Want to pick a fight with me?_"

"Hanna!", Emily whispers urgently, trying to get Hanna to look at her, "Calm down, ok? It's not helping."

"We were just thinking that maybe you're holding on to this too much because you think it's somehow going to bring Allie back.", Aria says, and that's all it takes, Spencer's eyes fill with tears.

"So that is what you think? That I'm holding on to this too much? You honestly think I don't know that Allie is dead and never coming back? You think I'm crazy like everyone else? Thanks a lot!"

"No, Spencer, no! That's not it, really! We just...", Aria tries to calm her, helplessly waving her slim arms.

"You know what, Aria? Go tell Mr. Fitz about it! Because I don't want to know.", Spencer hisses.

"That's enough, Spencer!", Hanna whizzes and steps closer to Spencer when Aria's face goes pale.

"My thoughts exactly, I've had enough. And just so you know, I'm not the crazy one, You are. Because you're just as scared of A as you were of Allie! Look where that got you.", Spencer hisses and storms off, "You can keep running away but it's never going to end."

With the tears already welling over and everyone looking at her, there's no way of going to class. So she drives home, having difficulties with seeing because she's crying so hard.

She always thought she could imagine what it was like when everyone turned their back on you. But she realizes just now that she had not the faintest idea.

When she gets home, she calls her mom, tells her that she isn't feeling well and then goes to lay down in her bed, wrapped in her cover.

Sobbing, she turns to the other side.

"_I must be imagining this, it can't be happening, everyone thinks I'm crazy! My parents, the whole town and now even my friends. How could that happen? Just because I just couldn't let it go? Just because I think that we owe it to Allie to find out who killed her?_

_I bet they've been thinking it for such a long time already, just never said anything. _

_My parents used to tell me that I can come to them with everything, and __then I open up-once-and they think I need to see a shrink! The whole town thinks that I'm trying to make myself interesting, and now even the only __people I could still count on turned their backs on me."_

After spending some more time just crying into her pillows, Spencer gets up again.  
>"I can cope with this on my own. I don't need them. I don't need anybody but myself.", she tells herself, standing in front of her mirror.<p>

She's looking at her dark, tight jeans, the blue shirt and the black cardigan. She collects her hair up into a loose ponytail and puts on a pair of blue high heels that match the color of her shirt.

Having wiped away all the traces of makeup the tears had left on her face, Spencer forces a smile.

"I can do it! I don't need help."

Nodding, she turns her back to her imagine in the mirror and sits down on the stool at her desk. She writes down everything A knows, has done and said so far and another one of all the people ever considered to be A.

It takes her almost an hour because she has to go through every possible option for the second list. She needs to think of every person she knows and try to look at them in a completly neutral way.

When she thinks of Toby, she isn't sure whether to put him on the list. She does not at all believe that he has anything to do with this. But then again-she's not being really objective about him.

She decides not to put him on the list.

"_He's not A and he has nothing to do with this._"

The thought of him reminds her to actually switch her cellphone on. She has a message from her mom, asking if she is ok, and one from Melissa, telling her to tell her mom not to wait for her with dinner.

Since the newspaper article had appeared, she had focused on one thing: finding A and finding out who killed Alison.

A knock on the door causes her to flinch, Spencer hastily shoves the lists aside and hides them under her laptop. Then she walks to the side door and pulls aside the curtains.

"Toby!", she smiles and opens the door. After a short kiss she tells him to come inside before she checks if there's anyone watching them. No one to be seen.

She still needs to do a list of A's options to find out everything he/she knows.

Spencer turns to see Toby observing her, his head slightly leaned to one side. He's wearing a black pullover and blue jeans and he looks as good as always.

"Spencer?", he asks, his dark voice sounding a bit different.

"Yes?", she asks. Him watching her like this makes her nervous.

"What's going on?", he asks.

"Nothing. Why would you think there's something going on?"

"_Stay cool, Spencer! There's no need for him to know what happend. He __shouldn't think about you as his whiny little girlfriend or whatever he sees you as!"_

"Because I can see it in your eyes that something is going on.", he replies, still looking at her with his blue eyes that seem a little brighter than usual.

"No way!", she says but looks down anyway.

"If you don't want to tell me, it's ok, but I've told you once before: I'm always there for you.", he says, slightly lifting up her chin with his index finger.

Hearing him say that and noticing that he really cares and notices how she feels, makes it hard for her to keep herself from telling him and the tears from falling.

"Spencer?"

And with that, she bursts out in tears again, throwing her arms around him, not able to contain her sobs.

She's shaking and she's holding on to him as tight as possible. He slowly sits down on the bed with her. He doesn't say anything, he just rubs her back and comfortingly strokes her hair.

"I'm so...sorry.", she manages to choke after some time.

"For what?", he asks, holding her tight and slowly rocking them back and forth.

"For this. I didn't mean to..."

"Shhh! It's ok.", Toby says, as he lets her cry, her tears ruining his pullover. He doesn't ask questions and he doesn't try to comfort her. Which makes it even harder for her not to cry because he IS so comforting, and she feels guilty for dragging him into this mess.

And beneath that all, she is scared that he's thinking the same things that her friends think.

"I'm not usually like that.", she tries breathing in and out calmly and slowly to stop shaking.

"I'm so sorry. I just...Sorry.", she mutters. He slowly pulls away from her to look into her deep brown eyes:

"Do you want to tell me what happend?"

Even though she didn't plan on it and even though it's against her promise to herself, she tells him what happend, leaving out the part about A and replacing it with Allies name or her death. He doesn't interrupt once as she goes on telling him how her friends words had made her feel.

"You know, your friends don't think you're crazy." Toby tells her. Spencer jumps to her feet.

"So you think I'm crazy too?" Oh no! Not that, please! She couldn't bear that right now.

"No.", he stands up and graps her wrists, "No, Spencer, I don't, and I won't ever think that. But your friends don't think that either, they're just worried that you can't let it go, and maybe they're scared, too." Spencer leans her head against his chest, breathing heavily. "I'm sorry.", she repeats again.

He's about to say something but he's interrupted by her phone ringing. On the display it's Aria's name.

***A/N: So i guess I'm leaving you with a cliffhanger once again! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. And please comment and review! Tell me what you think is good or bad or what I could do better. I'd be so thankful for that! Thanks for reading!**

**XO**

**Layla***


	3. Chapter 3

**Here I just want to say thanks to the first person to actually add my story to their favourite: Special thanks to "minimaddi"! This means so much to me, pls continue reading! Even though I might not be able to thank every single person to review or add the story to their favourites, please know that I'd be so grateful for it! Thanks!**

**Then there's the second person, missshoppy56. Thank you so much as well! And-i can't believe it-****fbilawyerwannabe is the third person! Thanks everyone so much, you don't know what that means to me!**

**Also special thanks to Moonlight Lake Nightmare, you even added me to your favourite athors! I'm honored! I think this is soo awesome! Pls review my story everyone!**

**Ok, here we go:**

Chapter 3: Best friends?

Spencer just stares at her phone.

"Don't you want to answer that?", Toby askes, picking up the phone and giving it to Spencer. She takes it even though she doesn't know what to do. Should she pick up or not?

"Come on, take it!", Toby says, giving her an encouraging smile. When Spencer shakes her head, he opens her phone and says: "Hello. This is Toby on Spencer's phone."

Spencer just continues staring. "Stop it!", she mouthes but he doesn't seem to care. He presses a button, so Arias surprised voice is loud and clear in the whole room when she answers:

"Toby? What...what are you doing with Spencer's phone? Where is she?" Just hearing Aria's voice makes Spencer remember the terrible situation that very morning in the halls.

"Spencer is...just coming back from the bathroom." He holds out the phone to her and waves it.

Spencer glares angryly at him, for she can't avoid talking to Aria now. She snatches the phone away from him.

"Hello?", she asks, trying desperately to sound normal, like she doesn't have a care in the world. She can tell by the look on Toby's face that she failed-big time!

"It's all your fault!", she mouthes before focusing on the phone again.

"Hi Spencer!", Arias voice is insecure, she doesn't seem sure how to handle the situation either.

"What do you want?", Spencer asks, turning of the speaker and turned away from Toby so he can't tell what she's feeling just by looking at her face.

"I feel terrible, Spence. About today. We really shouldn't have said what we said.", Aria's voice is filled with regret, worry and hope. Spencer can feel herself clutching the phone to her ear.

"That doesn't mean you didn't mean it. You should have your own opinion and you should be able to voice it without me causing a massive scene over it.", she says.

She knows that technically, what she says is right. But she's not really ready to just move on and act like nothing happend. That's also what she tells Aria who takes it better than expected:

"Sure. I understand. But can we still maybe meet sometime this week?" Spencer knows that she has to talk to her friends again. She just isn't sure how.

"Well, yes. Ok, some time this week. What do you suggest?", she asks. She can hear a quick movement behind her, just before the door slams open. Spencer turns on her heels just to see her mom standing in the doorway.

The shy smile on her face is quickly replaced by an expression of shock, considering that her mom isn't exactly fond of Toby and has forbidden him in or near her house.

"Aria, I'll call you back!", she says and hangs up.

"You were talking to Aria?", her mom asks and looks around the room. Spencer does, too but she can't see Toby anywhere. Where did he go? Her mom still seems suspicious, like she knows that he was hear just seconds ago and is looking for him.

Her mom really can't know about Toby being here. She'd even freak if it was a "perfect"(in her opinion) guy if Spencer was alone with him in her bedroom. But Toby Cavanaugh? That's the worst.

"Hey mom! I didn't hear you come in.", she tells her mom trying to sound calm. Her mom doesn't answer. She's still looking around the room, waiting for someone to be found hiding.

"What is it, mom?", Spencer asks.

"Nothing, hun. Are you feeling any better?", her mom asks, finally looking at her daughter, fully dressed but with mascara smeared all over her face and redded eyes.

"_Right! I'm sick._"

"A little, mom. I slept for some time.", Spencer tries and fails to give her mother a reassuring look.

"In your clothes?", her mom is getting suspicous again. And Spencer spots Toby. He's hiding outside, behind the pane, only shielded from their eyes by the curtain.

Spencer's heart is beating explodingly fast in her chest. She has to get her mom out of here before she finds Toby.

"Well..." Spencer's brain is working at full speed, she feels like there's is going to be steam coming out of her ears any minute while she tries to quickly think of something to get her mom out the room.

"I was so tired, I just collapsed onto my bed.", she explains. She locks eyes with her mom so that she doesn't feel like she has to look for something anymore.

Spencer tries to look innocent. Her mom nods slowly.

"Do you want me to get you anything?", she asks. Spencer is about to say "No, thanks. I'm good." when the idea comes to her mind:

"Yes, please. A cup of tea would be nice."

With a last look around the room, her mom walks out. Spencer sinks on her bed.

"Oh my god!", she sighs, watching Toby wave and quickly take off. She lays in her bed, hiding the phone under the covers, and sends a text to Aria's phone:

"**My mom walked in and we had to hide Toby. Call u l8er! -Spencer**".

She sighs. She is still not sure how she should treat Hanna, Emily and Aria from now on.

She keeps thinking of the fight they had.

"_Obsession._" She can still hear the echo of Emilys voice in her head as soon as she closes her eyes.

But even though that still hurts, she still knows that she said some horrible things too.But if her friends really think she is going crazy, that would be too much...Not that it justifies the things she said.

"Sweetie?", her mom comes back in, carrying a tray with a pot, a cup and a jar filled with sugar.

"Thank you, mom!", she smiles, acting a bit weaker than she actually is.

"Anytime, honey. Do you need anything else?", her mom smiles, just carefully examining her daughter. She still thinks Spencer's hiding something.

"_We'll have to be really careful from now on."_, Spencer thinks to herself and answers her mom's question: "No, thank you."

"Get better, hun!", her mom says before exiting the room. Spencer realizes that she only closes the door half way on her way out.

"_My own parents don't trust me. Great!_", she thinks, rolling her eyes and ignoring the bittersweet pain that runs through her with that thought.

She decides to be quiet for a while so her mom won't get suspicious, when suddenly her phone buzzes, twice.

Checking her phone, Spencer realizes she has two text messages. One from Aria and one from Toby.

**"It's ok. Will u call me l8er? We rlly need 2 talk. -Aria". **Spencer thinks about it. She's going to call Aria but she isn't going to meet her or Emily or Hanna today. She still needs some time to think.

The second message is from Toby and it's short:

"**That was close, we need 2 be careful. -Toby**". Spencer nods to herself. Right, they really need to be more careful because her parents can't find out about this!

Spencer decides to take a shower and clean herself because her face iches from the tears. And she's been in bed with these clothes.

20 minutes later, Spencer steps out of the bathroom, a dark blue towel wrapped around her slim body and her hair dripping wet. When she's about to step into her room, she hears quiet voices coming from downstairs. She steps closer to the stairs to listen.

"...getting more and more worried about her.", Melissa says and it doesn't take Spencer long to guess who she's talking about.

"I know, Sweetheart, me too.", Spencer's mom whispers back, "But I think she just needs a little help and then she's going to be fine."

"From the right people, though.", Melissa says. Spencer lifts her eyebrows. What is that supposed to mean?

Apparently, Spencer's mom doesn't know what Melissa's talking about either because Melissa continues:

"That Cavanaugh-kid sure isn't help."

Spencer almost growles angryly at Melissa's way of talking about Toby. She sounds so disgusted just saying his name.

"No, he isn't. But I really don't know what I can do to stop her from seeing him if she really wants to.", Spencer's mom sighs. She sounds tired and worried.

Spencer almost feels sorry for her but all she's thinking and saying about Toby is based on nothing but prejudices and town gossip.

Sure, he has a criminal record and he was brought to jail for killing Alison, but firstly, the charges have been dropped and secondly, her mom had already hated Toby before the Jenna-thing.

Just because he was different. Just because people were scared.

"Maybe we should keep a closer eye on her.", Melissa suggests and Spencer gets so mad because she finally understands what this is about for Melissa. It's not about Spencer seeing Toby.

It's just her trying to get Spencer out of her way and make her look even more untrustworthy so nobody will believe her. Mom's antipathy for Toby is just helping.

Even though she and Melissa had fought a lot, Spencer always thought that if it came down to something important like this, Melissa would be on her side and trying to help her.

"_What do they say about love making you blind? She still doesn't want to believe that Ian killed Allie.", _she thinks, deciding to not listen to the rest of the conversation. Entering her room, she almost screams but presses her hand on her mouth to stop herself from doing so.

"Aria! What are you doing here?", she whispers and looks at her friend. Aria's standing in the middle of the room, her dark hair falling over her back. She's wearing a dark blue dress and carries a black handbag.

"I just wanted to tell you that you can't call me anymore for tonight, I'm meeting Ezra. And ask you when we are meeting up?"

The sight of Aria standing there in front of her brings up nasty memories of the fight. But still Spencer smiles.

"How about tomorrow?", Spencer asks.

"Sound great! The grill after school?", Aria asks and waves goodbye, "I have to go! Bye!"

And she disappears through the open slide door.

Spencer puts on something comfortable, sweatpants and a hoodie that is a little too big for her. But she just loves wearing things that are actually oversized.

She decides to clean her room some more which gives her time to think. Everytime she has something on her mind or a problem to deal with, she cleans something.

So, while walking around her room, she thinks about the issue(one of the many) she has to deal with:

"_Is everything going to be the way it was? They DID say that I'm going crazy...Or well, maybe they didn't. But they meant it._

_Maybe Toby is right. Maybe they don't think that. Maybe I overreacted. But it just hurt so much with everything that's going on already._"

Spencer lifts up her laptop and sees her lists again. She hides it in her bag because she knows that there's no way someone can see those. She isn't even sure she should show them to her friends.

After all, this is what they got into a fight over in the first place. And Spencer is sure about one thing: She doesn't ever want to hear her friends say something like that to or about her again.

Finally, she goes to bed. Tired and overwhelmed from all of the emotions of the day, Spencer falls asleep really fast.

The next morning passes in a blur. Spencer doesn't pay attention to her classes. She spends her lunchbreak sitting in her car, listening to music and staring out into the pouring rain.

When finally the time to meet her friends has come, she can feel herself getting really nervous.

She enters the grill, immediately spotting the other three girls sitting at a table at the far end of the restaurant. Hanna sees her, too. She waves timidly.

When Spencer sits down with them, she notices that Emily doesn't even look at her. She's staring into space, looking sad.

"Emily? What is it?", Spencer asks before she can stop herself.

Emily snaps out of her thoughts.

"What?", she asks.

"What's wrong?"; Spencer repeats her question. Emily looks at her with her big, brown eyes.

"Yeah...you've been in lalaland for the whole day. What is it?", Hanna asks, now looking away from a young man at the counter of the restaurant and focusing on Emily.

Aria-who has been sending a text message- puts her phone away and leans over the table to have a better look at her friends.

"I think I fell in love.", Emily says and Spencer can tell how hard it is for Emily to say that aloud.

"Wow! Who is the lucky one? And why are you so sad about it?", Hanna blurtes out.

"Shhh!", Aria whispers.

"Tell us about it, Emily.", Spencer encourages. She notices how much she likes saying "us" when she's talking about her friends.

The girls are still her best friends, she notices. And she so badly wants to keep this friendship going.

She would miss them so much if they didn't get over the fight.

"I saw this girl yesterday, when I went outside of town with my mother. And she was beautiful.", Emily murmurs, looking down onto the wooden table and sighimg.

"What happend? Did you ask her on a date?", Hanna asks excitedly.

"No. I didn't even know her.", Emily starts, sees Hanna-who is about to interrupt-and raises her voice a bit:  
>"And my mom was with me...But I talked to her anyway. We had so much fun and I think we flirted but...", Emily trailes off. Her dark eyes glitter with tears.<p>

"What happend?", Aria asks, worried about Emily. She's not really one to fall in love so qickly. And cry about it to her friends. Especially when she hasn't even kissed that person or anything.

"Her boyfriend showed up.", Emily finally looks up.

"I'm so sorry, Em!", Aria exclaims, before putting her hands on Emilys.

"Me, too.", Spencer and Hanna say at the same time.

"It's ok, I'll get over it.", Emily sighs. Then looks at Spencer, "So, weren't we coming here to talk about the fight, not me?"

"Are you sure you're ok, Emily?", Spencer asks. She isn't sure how to deal with her friends but she still wants them to be happy. What they mean to her didn't really change.

Emily nods.

Aria looks at Spencer: "Listen, Spencer...", she begins.

Spencer suddenly notices -by looking at their faces-that they never thought of her as crazy. Never.

Toby was right, they were just worried. But would they forgive her for what she had said?

"_What do they want to tell me?"_

***A/N: Hey guys! I know this is a sort of boring chapter, I'm sorry. The next one will get more interesting, I hope. I didn't want too much action in every chapter but this is sort of lame, sorry! Anyway, please review and tell me what you think of it! I'm always looking for someone to tell me what I did wrong and what I should do differently/better. Please tell me! Bye! And please keep reading and reviewing! Thanks!**

**XO**

**Layla***


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey guys, I almost cried today and it's all you to blame for that! :D Thank you soooo much for the sweet and lovely comments, and I'm definately going to try to get ur ideas into the story. It might take a while but I'll try! Please keep reviewing it means sooooooooooooooooooooo much to me! I was freaking out, u can ask my friends about that... :D Feel free to tell me if you think i should do anything differently or if you don't like something about the story or me rambling on here :)...I'd really appreciate that! (Pls can someone tell me how u see how many reviews uve got?) I'm so honored and I freak out everytime I get an email from fanfiction saying that someone liked my story or me :) As for the sneek peeks, I'm rlly sorry but I don't think I can do that but u'll see, Ill upload as fast as I can, I promise. And I won't stop writing anytime soon, so no need to cry :D Pls keep reviewing! Love u guys so much, ure awesome! I might try read ur storys too and review them but it will take a while, Im a little busy. So, now that im (finally) done, on we go:**

Chapter 4: Who are you lying to?

Spencer looks at her friends, worried, hopeful and really wishing for them to not be mad at her. And for them all to go back to being friends who told each other almost everything.

"We...", Aria starts but Hanna interrups in her typical, straight forward kind of way:  
>"Screwed up!"<p>

Emily and Aria nods. Spencer smiles.

"No, you didn't.", she says and blushes a little, "I did. I overreacted. It was just so much going on with the whole town thinking I'm a liar, with being a person of interest in Allie's case, with my parents thinking I'm either crazy or a liar..."

"We understand that.", Aria answers, smiling apollogetically at her friend, "We really shouldn't have said what we said. We were just worried."

"I know!", Spencer smiles back at her. She is so relieved that they forgave her. That they are friends again, "Toby said so, too."

As soon as she mentions Toby's name, she wonders if her friends will be mad at her for telling him about the fight.

"Toby! Aww, how cute!", Hanna squeals, causing half of the people in the restaurant to look at them. Spencer looks down, grinning but feeling a blush warm up her cheeks.

"Are you blushing? She's blushing!", Hanna keeps her voice a bit lower but her eyes glitter with excitement.

"So he spends his afternoons at your place?", Emily wants to know, keeping her voice down so noone but the girls can hear. Spencer replies:

"Well, sometimes. We study together."

"Yeah, right! You're studying together! Pff!" Hanna snorts.

"We are!", Spencer says, louder, her face turning from light pink to bright red, "We're just studying."

"Each other.", Hanna adds.

"Hanna!", Emily, Spencer and Aria call out at the same time and all of them burst out laughing.

Spencer can't believe how good it feels to actually laugh with her friends. They hadn't had so many reasons to laugh lately.

Later that day, when Spencer comes home, she finds her mother, farther and sister sitting in the living room, waiting for her with severe expressions on their faces.

"What?", Spencer asks, still smiling from her fun afternoon with the girls.

She places her bag on the counter and gets something to drink.

"Where were you?", her mother asks.

"At the grill with Emily, Hanna and Aria. Why?"

"Next time you're leaving, you'll tell us or Melissa exactly where you're going, with who and when you are going to be back.", her farther explains and Melissa and Spencer's mom nod.

"What?", Spencer slowly puts her glas down on the counter, a blank expression in her eyes.

"You heard your farther. We don't want you to go out without us knowing where you are, who you're with and when you're going to be back.", her mother says.

"Very funny!", Spencer puts the glas away, assuming it's a bad joke. She grabs her bag and starts toward the stairs.

"We're serious, Spencer!", her mom calls her back.

"_You have to be kidding me! That's not possible."_

But her mom is serious.

"Mom, that's impossible! You can't do that.", Spencer says, slowly sitting on the couch opposite of the others. She's still staring at her parents with wide eyes.

"Yes, I can and I will. It's a dangerous time for you to be outside."

"The only thing you mean by dangerous is Toby. And he's not dangerous.", Spencer says. She knows by the look on her farther's face, that she assumed the right thing.

But her mother denys it:

"This has nothing to do with Toby Cavanaugh. This is just about us knowing where you are."

"So, you're saying, I can still do whatever I want to, I'd just have to tell someone about it?", Spencer asks. She already knows that the answer is going to be "Yes, of course!" but that actually she won't be able to see Toby or anyone "dangerous" anymore.

"Yes, of course, honey!", her mom says.

"_Sure enough!"_

"So if I'd tell you I'm going to meet Toby in half an hour and I'll be back an hour later, you'd be ok with it?", she challenges. There's a short silence and Spencer can see her mother trying to decide between making a good impression on her daughter and her actual desire to keep Spencer away from Toby Cavanaugh.

"_I knew it!_""

"That Cavanaugh-kid is dangerous, Spencer. We don't want you near him, we'd be worried every second that you're gone.", her farther says while she can see her mother sighing with relief.

"Have you ever taken the time to get to know him? To see if he's really dangerous?", she asks, slowly getting angry, partly because of her parents' order but mostly because they don't seem to trust her at all.

"No, but there's no need. He's a criminal, Spencer.", her mother steps in.

"You have no idea what you're talking about.", Spencer says, stands up and grabs her bag.

"I'm going out. To see Emily. I'm staying there over night and I'll be home after school tomorrow.", she says, turns on her heels and storms out the door. It's just too much for her right now.

She never was a person that ran away from home or stormed out on fights(except the one time she had told Toby about at the chimney fire a few weeks ago) but her parents have been annoying her constantly for weeks. They don't trust her.

She's about to text Emily but then she realizes it's not Emily she needs to see. So she sends a text to a different number:

"**Hey. Can I come see you? Parents. -Spencer**"

She shoves her phone back into her pocket and walks along the street in the pouring rain.

Finally, she gets a response:

"**Jenna's here. She'll leave in 2 hours. Wanna come over then? -Toby**."

Spencer smiles. She has two hours to kill then. She doesn't take the car, she feals like walking to clear her head. She doesn't really want to talk to anyone but her boyfriend, so she texts Emily:

"**Can you cover up for me? Told my parents I'd stay with u. That ok? Text when they call or come visit. I'll come over then. -Spencer.**"

So she keeps walking through the town in the rain, clearing her head and thinking about the situation.

Noone-especially not her parents-are going to stop her from seeing Toby.

About 15 minutes later, she gets a text from Emily, saying:

"**Sure. U stayin at Toby's?** **-Emily.**"

Spencer sends her thanks and a short "yes" before sitting down at the grill for some time, cursing the fact that she hasn't brought a single book or anything.

Her hair is dripping wet and so are her clothes and she's glad it's so warm here. But she has kept her bag dry, hiding it under her coat and pressing it to her chest.

After killing one hour just sitting at the grill and watching people who walk by and another 15 minutes thinking about the mistery of A, Spencer decides to just walk around for some more time.

While the rain keeps running over her face, hair and clothes she thinks about her parents.

What would they say if they saw her running around like this? Wet and-even if they didn't allow her to-on her way to Toby's.

Finally, it's time for her to head to her boyfriend's house. When she arrives opposite of his house, she sees Jenna get in a cab across the street. There is only one car in the driveway-the truck she had bought for Toby.

She smiles at the memory of his happy face when she had showed up at his workplace with the car he had been wishing for and shown her on his phone the day before she had bought it.

As soon as the cab drives around the corner, Spencer crosses the street and is about to knock when the door is opened from the inside.

Toby's standing in front of her, wearing sweatpants and a black hoodie she has never seen on him before.

He smiles, seems happy to see her.

She's smiling, too. They kiss, and as usual he holds her in his arms and makes her feel so safe.

"Oh, did you run through the rain for two hours? Come on in, before you're getting a cold!", he gestures for her to come in, carefully closing the door behind them.

"Did you bring something to change?", he asks. He seems rather amused than worried, seeing her leave a puddle of water on the floor.

She shakes her head, pretty strongly, so some of the water coming from her hair lands on his hoodie.

"Hey!", he calls out. She grins.

He decides to let it go, telling her that he's going to be right back with some clothes for her to change into.

She stands there, waiting for him to come back. When he does, he's carrying a pile of clothes over his arm which he hands over to her.

"Thanks. I'll be right back.", she whispers after he showed her the way to the bathroom. The bathroom is quite big with a few items that are apparently supposed to help blind people.

When Spencer looks at the big, framed mirror over the sink, she can't help but laugh. Her hair is wet and standing up in every possible direction, her make-up his running over her face.

And she looks tired. Tired but happy.

After she got out of her wet clothes, she takes a closer look at the things Toby has given her.

Those are apparently his things: a pair of grey sweatpants, a blue shirt and a nice, grey pullover. All oversized, of course.

"_I get to walk around in clothes that are too big for me. And they belong to a boy I really like. A boy that likes me, too. I'm so lucky!_"

After she has put on his clothes-they're so comfortable!-she washes off her make-up and comes out of the bathroom. A door at the end of the hall is open.

She walks towards it, only now realizing that she hasn't actually asked him if she could stay the night. And that they are alone in his house and noone is going to be there anytime soon, since he has already told her two days ago that his parents are on holiday.

That thought makes her nervous and causes her to stop right before she reaches the door.

"_Oh god! It's not like that, is it? It..."_, she asks herself.

"Spencer?", Toby asks, appearing at the door.

"Yeah?" She realizes that her voice sounds shaky. It makes her blush, hoping that he doesn't realize it.

And so she steps into his room, seeing it for the first time.

It's a big room and it looks pretty empty. And surprisingly bright. The only furniture in there is a big bed, a desk, a chair in front of it and a shelf filled with books. In the far corner stands a wooden box.

On top of the shelf are a few surprisingly delicate and detailed, apparently homemade figures made of wood.

Thinking he probably made them himself, she smiles at him. He smiles back and of course, the dimple shows again. She loves seeing it!

"You don't spend that much time in your room, do you?", she asks.

"No. I don't like this house. I very much prefer being outside. Or at your place.", he winks.

She smiles.

Suddenly she notices that the curtains are made of strange looking fabric.

"What are your curtains made of?", she asks.

"Some weird fabric. My grandma gave it to me.", he explains. She slightly brushes her hand down his arm. He smiles again.

There's a short pause but it doesn't feel akward.

That's one of the things she likes about him: they don't always have to talk. They can just be still together, no words neccesary.

"So, did you sort things out with your friends?", he asks, while she's putting her bag on his bed.

"Yes. You were right.", she grins, sitting down on his bed, her feet crossed. "See.", he says, smiling broadly.

He sits down on the chair the wrong way around.

Spencer gets up and walks over to the shelf. She wants to take a closer look at the little figures he had made.

"Do you want me to get one down from the shelf for you?", he asks, already standing up.

"That'd be nice.", she smiles and steps aside to make some space for him. He reaches up and takes a little, wooden rabit down from the shelf. He's standing really close now, sending a shiver down her spine and making her heart beat faster in her chest.

He looks down at her, before leaning down to kiss her, softly like he always does. She wraps her arms around him.

They kiss for some time, before Spencer finally pulls away to get some air, which makes him smile as he walks back to the chair, sits on it(the right way now) and holds out his arms.

She sits on it and takes the figure as he holds it out to her. Looking at it from up close it looks even more delicate and detailed as it has when she saw it on the shelf.

She examines it in awe.

"Did you do these all by yourself?", she asks, hardly being able to graps that one can create something like this with your bare hands.

He nods.

"Toby, they look amazing! You're really talented!", she exclaims.

"I just really enjoy doing things like that, that's it.", he says but he smiles, showing her that he's happy that she likes the figures.

"You should show it to someone who knows something about these kind of things. Aren't there competitions for this?", she excitedly looks at him, then at his hands on her knees.

"I'm sure there are. But I'm not good enough for something like that.", he explains, thoughtfully looking at the delicate rabbit in Spencer's hand.

"But, Toby, these are beautiful!", Spencer says.

"Thanks. But what I really want to do is a human person. I just don't seem to be able to get it right.", he doesn't look angry or sad, just a little disappointed.

Wanting that expression to disappear from his face, she shakes her head and tells him:

"You'll be able to do it soon.", she comforts him, before she has to yawn.

"I think, I'm going to move to the bed for a bit because I'm tired.", she tells him, gets up and sits on the bed. He gets up, too.

When he sits down next to her, he accidently pushes her bag of the bed. A few things fall out of it. A lipstick, her cellphone and-Spencer feels her heart stop-two pieces of paper. The lists!

***A/N: Hey guys! Again with the cliffhanger. I know, there isn't much action in this chapter exept the end. I hope you are all wondering and dying to know if Toby's going to find out about A or not. :) I'm sorry, if there's not enough A in this story but I kind of decided to make this story mostly about Spencer and Toby. A is there, it's a issue they have to deal with but it's not really detailed. I'm sorry for those who want more action. I don't know when exactly, but there is something coming up. Let's see how fast I get there but probably the 6th chapter. Can't promise anything, though. So keep reading and please, please review!**

**XO**

**Layla**

**P.S.: What does it mean if someone added me/my story to their Author/Story description alert? I'm new here, my English is not that good, so could someone maybe explain it to me? Thanks! Love u, guys!***


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey guys! Thx again for reading and reviewing! Pls, pls, pls if u read my story and haven't reviewed yet, do it! :D Please, that would mean so much to me! Pls, if u like my story, tell everyone about it :) i'd like a lot of people to tell me what they think of it! Thanks again! **

**Layla**

Chapter 5: Myserie solved?

"No!", Spencer calls out as Toby bends down to pick up the things that fell out of her bag.

He looks at her, a puzzled expression on his face.

Spencer's heart is racing, but she still feels unable to move.

"What's wrong?", Toby asks, picking up the lists first. He looks over them briefly, then his slightly puzzled expression is replaced by total confusion as he scans the list.

Spencer snaps out of her shock and hastily grabs the sheets of paper back from him.

"Spencer, what is this?", he asks.

Right now, she really wants to tell him. It would make it easier, just getting it off her chest. Reduce the weight that's been laying on her shoulders since she got the first A-text.

He's trustworthy to all of them now, maybe he could even help dealing with the issue.

But Spencer remembers that she isn't alone with this. That there are other people whos permission she has to ask before she can actually tell Toby, who's sitting opposite of her and looking confused.

"I...I'm kind of in this with others so I need to ask them if it's ok if I tell you about it.", she stutters, "Excuse me for a second."

Then she grabs her phone and the lists and hurries to the bathroom, sending a text to Aria and Hanna that says "S.O.S!", before locking the door behind her and calling Emily's cell.

"Hi!", she picks up right away, "Hanna and Aria are here and they just got your text. What is it, Spence?"

Spencer tells Emily to put her on speaker and quietly explains the situation to her three best friends, sitting down on the edge of the bath tube for that because she's still in shock.

"And I think that maybe it is best to tell him about A. Maybe he can help, he lives in one house with Jenna and all. You know what they say about someone from the outside? That sometimes they have a completly different way of seeing your situation?", she ends.

There's silence on the other end of the line.

"I don't know about this. Toby is a nice guy and all but are you sure?", Aria's voice sounds sceptic, "I mean, even if we think that he's trustworthy enough...Are you sure you want to burden him with this? He's been through so much already."

"Exactly. He wants Allie's case to be solved as quickly as possible so people see that he was innocent all along. That's what makes him trustworthy, too, in my opinion.", Spencer explains, "Listen, girls! This is not about me not wanting to lie to him. This is about me thinking it would be a good idea."

Silence again.  
>"What if A finds out about him knowing? What if he or she gets angry and everything gets worse?", Hanna asks.<p>

Spencer is about to tell her that she isn't sure about this either when Emily speaks up:

"We're already in great danger, aren't we? A almost killed Hanna. It can't really get any worse."

"What about the danger we might put Toby in if you tell him?", Aria asks.

"I thought about that, too. Toby is old enough to decide for himself, right? I'm going to tell him that this is a great risk. He can decide if he wants to know or not. He can also decide what he wants to do with that truth.", Spencer says, "I'm not sure about it, either. But isn't this more fear than anything else? We're scared that someone-Toby, in this case- is going to find out about our dark secrets, right?

But let's face it, the Jenna-thing is our darkest secret, right? And Toby knows all about that."

"She has a point.", Hanna says, her voice sounding thoughtful, "What about this thing with Ian?"

"That's not our fault.", Emily replys for Spencer.

"So, there is nothing keeping you from telling him, is there?", Aria asks, "But he should be the only one for now."

Spencer nods. She's relieved. Of course, she's also worried how Toby is going to react but somehow she can feel that he'll understand.

"Ok, then. Tell him!", Hanna says, and Aria and Emily agree.

"Thanks, girls!", Spencer says, "Bye! See you tomorrow!"

"Bye!", the others call out and Spencer hangs up, walking back into Toby's room. He sits there just as he did when she left.

"We agreed that I should tell you. But the thing is, it's dangerous and...", she starts but suddenly breaks off because a new, frightening thought comes to her mind, "...you might not believe me and think I'm crazy. Are you sure you still want to know? It is really dangerous."

Toby looks at Spencer, confused but intense. And he nods.

After she has made him promise to keep this to himself no matter what happens, she finally tells him.

About A somehow knowing really everything. About A blackmailing the girls. About their suspicions about Ian's suicide. About their fear. Just about everything. About A doing everything in his/her power to make the girls look like liars.

About A always being one step ahead of them. About A sometimes helping them-like with Ian-and then again trying to ruin their lives.

It feels so good to say all this. To get some pressure of her heart. Especially since Toby's an excellent listener who doesn't interrupt once. And Spencer keeps talking, telling him everything she can think of and showing him some of the A-texts.

She also explains the lists to him.

When she is finally done, having talked for half an hour, she looks into Toby's light blue eyes that watch her.

"So, you believe me?", she asks, "I know it's crazy. And I know what..."

"I believe you.", he says. Just as simple as that.

"Really?", she asks him, thinking that that would have been too easy, considering the subject they were talking about.

He just nods:

"You know, when I told Emily the story about Jenna and me, I was so grateful that she ended up believing me. And I trust you, you wouldn't lie to me. Not about anything, but especially not about this. Adding to that, you don't really have a reason to lie about this."

Spencer scoots over so she can rest her head on his shoulder. "Thank you! For listening, and believing me, and letting me be here.", she mumbles into his hoodie, "I can't even tell you what that means to me."

"I love you.", he just says and kisses her hair.

"I love you, too.", she answers and suddenly she knows that he has been seeing her as his girlfriend for the whole time.

"_How could I not notice?"_, she thinks. Her eyes begin to hurt from the effort of keeping them open.

Toby strokes her back and she feels totally safe. So finally, she gives in and lets her eyes close. It's only seconds later that she drifts to sleep, still leaning against the boy she loves.

The next morning, Spencer wakes up without the alarm having to wake her. For a second, she doesn't know where she is but it comes to her mind pretty quickly. Memories of last night flood her brain.

She's resting on Toby's bed, a cover is gently placed over her, and Toby's arm is wrapped around her.

He's so close, she can feel his calm heartbeat against her back. There it is again, the peaceful expression on his face when he's sleeping. She watches him for some time, just happy to be here right now.

Her phone buzzes on the pillow next to her, a text:

"**SOS! Ur mom wants 2 drop of clothes for u. I'll leave the back door open. -Emily."**

Spencer carefully removes Toby's arm from her waist, grabs a sheet of paper and a pen from his desk and quickly writes him a note, smilingly placing it where she had been resting just minutes before.

Then she grabs her bag and leaves the house through the back entrance because she doesn't want to be seen on the street, leaving Toby's house when her mother drives by.

She runs into Emily on the stairs.

"Hurry up, Spencer!", Emily says and nods in the direction of her room while she walks down the stairs to the kitchen to prepair breakfast for two, "Just take one of my pajamas!"

Spencer rushes into Emily's room, glancing at her cellphone. It's early, not even the time she usually gets up at yet.

Spencer is impressed. Her mom even made an effort to actually think of a lie to check on her.

She quickly changes into one of Emily's pajama-shirts. She's stepping out of Toby's sweatpants when the doorbell rings.

Spencer hides Toby's clothes when it suddenly comes to her mind that she didn't bring the clothes she had worn yesterday.

Downstairs, she hears Emily getting the door: "Good morning, Mrs. Hastings!"

"Morning, Emily! Where is Spencer?", Spencer hears her mom's voice and it sounds impatient and sceptic at the same time. She also notices, that her mom-of all people-is actually being a little rude to Emily by not even properly saying "Good morning!" or apologizing about her coming by this time in the morning.

Spencer checks her image in the mirror-luckily she still looks a little exhausted-and then comes walking down the stairs, stretching.

"Spencer!", her mom calls out, not quite able to fully keep the surprise out of her voice, "I brought you some clothes to change." She holds up the bag she's carrying.

"Thanks, mom!", Spencer says as she gets the bag from her mom.

"Do you want me to take your clothes from yesterday with me?", her mom still doesn't seem able to believe that Spencer spent the night at Emily's.

"_She doesn't trust me at all. In this case, she's right about it but that is not what all this is about.", _Spencer thinks, trying not to think of the bad conscience she has.

"We put them into the washing machine because they were wet.", Emily says, smiling at Spencer's mom with just the right expression on her face: A mix of polite and confused.

Finally, her mom gives up.

"Alright! I'll see you at home right after school, Spencer! Bye, Emily!", she says and walks to her car, driving away.

Emily closes the door and leans against it:

"Puh! That was close!", she sighs but she's smiling, "Be glad my mother isn't here!"

"I am. Thank you so much, Em!", Spencer says and gives her friend a tight hug.

"No problem! Anytime.", Emily laughs and hugs back, "Did you have fun at Toby's?"

Spencer looks at her weirdly.

"I meant: Did you enjoy...Wait! Did he believe you about the A-thing?", as Emily mentions that, her smile fades.

Spencer nods:

"Yeah, he did. But we didn't really talk about it, because I fell asleep after I told him."

Emily smiles:

"He's a good listener, isn't he?"

Spencer nods.

"Well, let's get ready for school!", Emily says.

Two hours later, Spencer and Emily finally arrive at school.

They meet Hanna and Aria in class. The class Aria's mom is doing now since Mr. Fitz has gone.

"Hi girls!", Spencer grins. She's in a good mood.  
>"Hey! How did Toby take it?", Aria asks.<p>

"You're still alive and smiling so it couldn't have gone that bad, right?", Hanna teases.

Spencer repeats what she has already told Emily.

The girls don't really get to react because Mrs. Montgomery starts class right at that moment.

The rest of the day brings-together with a lot of homework-the information that Hanna has decided to forgive Caleb.

Personally, Spencer thinks it's the right thing to do. He really seems to be caring for her and he seems to be sorry for what he did. Plus, Hanna had been suffering more than she had let on.

That afternoon, walking home from school(she has come to Emily's house with Emily's car and is now walking the rest of the way), Spencer meets Toby on the street in front of his house.

"Hey!", she smiles.

"Hi!"

He walks towards her and puts his arms around her waist after giving her a kiss.

"Listen, about this morning. I'm sorry I had to leave but you know my parents.", she explains.

"It's ok, I understand. But there's also something I wanted to say about the things you told me last night:

Thirst of all, thank you for trusting me enough and telling me. But there's something else, too:

I don't feel good knowing that you girls were in it alone, without any help. I can't even think about what might have happend."

"It's fine, nothing serious has happend so far.", Spencer whispers. They go along the street for a bit and then sit on the edge of the porch in front of Toby's house.

When Spencer glances around, Toby explains:

"My parents are still on vacation and Jenna's not home from school yet so we can talk."

"Ok. So, about us being in danger. Noone got seriously hurt.", she says, trying to sound less frightened than she actually is, so he doesn't worry too much.

"If you're right about A killing Ian, than you know what that person is capable of, Spencer."

"I know, and we're being careful!", Spencer says. She's scared that Toby is in danger if he gets really involved. More than just knowing about the whole thing.

"Please Spencer, promise me that you tell me if you girls are planning on doing something about A.", he says, "I will keep you safe."

"Thank you, Toby.", she says. But she isn't sure if telling him is really a good idea.

Him wanting to protect them might make everything worse. Plus, he really can't be involved in something that might not actually be...approved by the police. They're already watching him.

And she knows that Toby is protective of her. She likes that-knowing that he is her safe haven and feeling safe with him- in general but when it comes to something involving A, that might be a bad thing.

He nods.

"I really care about you.", he replies, "And that's why I want you to be safe."

She nods. She doesn't really know what to say.

They are quiet. She thinks he actually noticed that she didn't promise what he asked her to promise but he doesn't mention it.

Suddenly, she remembers something:  
>"Oh! My mom expects me home right after school, I have to go!", she says and jumps to her feet.<p>

Toby gets up, too:

"Be safe!"

Spencer nods. They kiss again, Toby having his arms put around Spencer, like always making her forget everything else.

"I love you.", he says as they finally pull away.

"I love you, too.", Spencer smiles, yet again feeling a thrill as she can truthfully say those words. A thrill nearly as strong as the one she felt hearing him say it to her the first time.

She walks off, trying to get to her house as fast as she can while Toby waves after her and returns back into his house. They both haven't noticed Jenna getting out of a car and hearing their last words.

The next day after school, Spencer is lying on her bed, doing her homework, a phone by her side.

Suddenly, there is a quiet knock on the window beside the slide door. Toby is standing outside and Spencer hurries to let him in.

As he enters the room, Spencer notices that he looks different:

His face is serious and he doesn't smile. His eyebrows are drawn together and his lips look thinner than usual.

His blue eyes that usually sparkle, are expressionless, blank and sort of hollow, not showing any emotion.

The sight of him like that frightens her.

"Spencer, we need to talk.", he says, his voice dark and serious. But there's more to it. No emotion in his voice, either.

"_He scares me when he looks like that. What could have possibly had happend to make him look like this?"_

"Toby, what's wrong? ", she asks.

***A/N: Yes, again with the cliffhanger. I think it makes this whole thing more interesting. I think that probably some of you didn't want Toby to find out about A. I wasn't entirely sure about it-even though I wanted him to know-so I asked my cousins and their cousin (confusing, i know :P) to vote. They voted for him finding out and so it was settled. But that is also why this chapter is delicated to them: my fav cousins (:D) Rea and Zoe and my soulmate (:D) Alexis, thank you so much for all your help and support! I don't know what this would be without you, so thanks! And thank you to my readers, too! Pls keep reading and pls REVIEW!**

**XO**

**Layla**

**P.S.: How would you feel if I actually did a chapter sort of from Toby's point of view? Please let me know and pls always review!***


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6: Why?

**Hey guys! I know I'm being kind of annoying with all of these A/Ns even before the chapters but there's always something I want to say and that I really want you to read. Maybe you've noticed, I've been trying to involve you into the story a little and I was hoping I could continue with that. So pls could you tell me what sort of song Toby and Spencer should have, like "their song"...I've already come up with 4 options: 1. "When I look at you" and 2. "When you say nothing at all" and 3. "All I need"(within temptation) and 4. "Pieces of me"(ashley simpson) ...Please, listen to all of them and then, if you know a song that would fit them, review to tell me about the song and I'm going to have a little vote some time soon after this with all the possible options as soon as I know how many different options we have! You have until the 31st of August to come up with other options, if you choose to propose another song, please make sure the lyrics match them. And please know, that I'll pick out the ones that I think fit them and I'll give you all possible options to choose sometime soon. Pls review for that but not just for that! Have fun reading!**

**Layla...**

**And on we go:**

Toby looks at her, just like that. He doesn't say anything. And with every second that passes by, Spencer gets more nervous and worried, one question clouding her mind:

"_What's happening?"_

Finally, Toby takes a deep breath.

And then he says it:

"I've been thinking. About us. And I don't feel like this is working. Sorry, Spencer, but we're over."

Spencer just stares at him, blankly. She heard what he just said but she doesn't seem to grasp it. Her ears and her brain realize it but her heart really doesn't.

So it takes her almost one minute to be able to speak again. What comes out is a blurr of questions in a shaky voice:

"What? Why? Did I do something wrong?"

The second and third questions she really wants answered. She thinks what she could have done wrong but she doesn't know. She can't think of anything.

"No, you didn't do anything wrong, Spencer.", Toby answers and she notices he isn't really looking into her eyes. Not really.

"Then why?", she asks, "Why are you breaking up with me?" It still hasn't reached her heart. She can hear him and she knows-hypothetically-what his words mean but she doesn't feel it yet.

It's a weird feeling.

Toby looks like he has been expecting that question. And feared it.

"It's...it's not working out for me anymore. I...need to focus on other things.", he says. He's stuttering, that is nothing like him at all.

"Like what?", suddenly Spencer thinks that she knows the reason: "Are you..."-it's hard for her to even say: her voice gets shaky and her heart starts to flutter, tears start to form in her eyes; all that just thinking of that potential reason-"Are you in love with someone else?"

Now, it slowly starts to sink in. Really slowly. Toby's breaking up with her. He doesn't want to be with her anymore.

And the tears start rolling, she starts sobbing so loudly that she almost doesn't understand what he says next:  
>"No, it's not that."<p>

"Then why? Please, please Toby, tell me! I can handle it!", she sobs, trying to get him to look at her. He doesn't, not really.

"_He doesn't even want to look at me anymore. How can he do this? And why? He's...breaking...up...with me. He doesn't love me anymore."_

It's like she can feel her heart break even though this is not really technically possible. It hurts so much.

"It's just over. I'm sorry. Goodbye, Spencer!", he says, sounding so cold. No emotion, not even pity. He looks at her one last time and she thinks she sees something in his eyes, but the moment is gone too fast. And he turns and walks away.

Spencer stands there for a few seconds before she follows him out the slide door where she stops.

"No, Toby! Please!", she calls out. But he doesn't turn around and just walks away.

Spencer can feel her knees go limp and she sinks to the floor. It's only now that she really fully realizes.

Toby broke up with her. He doesn't want to be with her anymore, doesn't love her anymore.

He doesn't even care enough to tell her why.

She's never going to fall asleep in his arms again. She's never going to hear him say "I love you."again.

She'll never see him smile at her, never see him look at her with his sparkly, blue eyes again. She's never going to kiss him again.

And he doesn't care enough to tell her that he doesn't love her anymore.

Spencer is sobbing. She's crying like she's never cried because of a boy before.

"_How can I love him so much when he doesn't care about me? How can he just lose his feelings?...If they ever were as strong as mine?"_, these questions come to her.

But the most important one still is:

"_WHY?"_

After sitting on the floor for minutes, Spencer manages to stand up and stagger to her bed.

She falls onto it.

Pictures of Toby come to her mind, like a diashow:

His smile, him shirtless in the hotelroom, his teasing grin when he beat her in scrabble, his cheeky smile after he kissed her on the parkinglot, him coming into her room through the slide door, him in his black hoodie opening the door of his house, his eyes sparkling, his surprisingly peaceful face when he's asleep...

Spencer closes her eyes, it hurts too much. But now the memories come to her mind and she starts wanting back the pictures: But now, real memories come and go from her mind:

The way he held her in his strong arms, the way he would let her fall asleep leaning against him, the way his lips felt on hers, the way his soft kisses had made her feel.

Spencer can't bear it anymore. She grabs her pillow and clutches it to her face.

"_Why, why, why? Why did he do that? What is the reason? Why?" _Even asking herself that question and not having an aswers is better than the memories. It hurts less.

Right that moment, her phone starts to ring.

She doesn't want to answer it, she doesn't care. But the phone keeps ringing.

"CAN'T YOU JUST LEAVE ME ALONE?", she crys, grabs her phone and throws it through the room. It hits the wall and falls down with a loud _thump _ but it stops ringing.

"WHY, TOBY?", she screams but noone can hear her because she's holding the pillow in front of her face.

Spencer spends the whole rest of the afternoon in her bed, sometimes she's crying, sometimes she's wondering why and sometimes she is just staring at the ceiling, blankly, and seeing Toby's smile on it.

When it gets dark outside, her phone rings again. She can't even bother getting it. She doesn't want to move.

But her mom calls up:

"Spencer, get your phone! Or do you want me to do it for you?" Her mom really can't come up here with her loosing it every few minutes when a new memorie of her and Toby comes to her mind.

So she gets up and picks up the phone. Surprisingly, it's still working even though she had thrown it against the wall before.

"Hello?", she says. She didn't even bother to check the caller-ID.

"Spencer? It's me.", Emily's voice says, "What's going on? I tried calling a few times but you never picked up. Are you ok?"

"I'm fine.", Spencer answers. She notices how her voice sounds different. Numb, cracking.

"Are you sure? You don't sound like you are.", Emily insists.

"I'm ok.", Spencer whispers. She has to end this call or she'll loose it again, she can already feel the tears run down her cheeks.

"If you say so. I just found Toby's clothes you were wearing this morning and I was wondering if...Spencer?", Emily interrupts herself as she hears Spencer burst out crying at the mention of Toby's clothes, "Spencer? What's wrong?"

Spencer tries to get a hold of herself. She can't lose it because someone mentions Toby's name or anything that has something to do with him! But Emily's worried voice only makes it worse.

"Nothing, I'm ok.", Spencer repeats but she already knows that it makes no sense saying that with her voice cracking twice and her continuing sobs not being quiet.

"Spencer, what?", Emily demands, "You know what, I'll just come by your house! I'll be right there!"

"No, no need to...", Spencer starts but Emily has already hung up. Spencer sighs.

"_Well, whatever!"_, she thinks. It doesn't matter if Emily knows anyway.

She doesn't even bother removing the traces the makeup has left on her cheeks.

Spencer stands in front of her mirror and tells herself:

"Hold it together, Spence! You won't start crying. You can do this. At least as long as Emily's here."

She is staring at her image in the mirror. Everything but her face looks normal, her slim figure, her curly brown hair that's shining slightly in the sunlight coming in from outside.

"_Ironic. Doesn't it usually rain when bad things happen? Well, maybe only in movies._"

Her face looks different, though. It's pale and it looks grave. Her eyes are swollen and red from all the crying and they look empty.

Spencer's staring at herself trying to keep in control. But now that she does, she thinks that maybe she's just not what he was looking for and he only realized now.

With the way she looks right now, it's not even that hard to understand. Or maybe he didn't like that she was crying so often, was so whiny. Wouldn't be so hard to understand, either.

She's come to the conclusion that it had to do something with her and that's also why he didn't explain it to her.

But what exactly?

"_Why did he break up with me?"_, she asks herself for the millionst time, and-no suprise there-can't think of an answer this time either.

Her eyes fill with tears again.

"_Don't start crying again!_", she thinks.

The doorbell rings and she can hear her mom, opening the door.

"Hello, Emily. Spencer's in her room. She's been there the whole time.", her mom sighs, as Emily quickly thanks her. Spencer hears her coming up the stairs, takes a deep breath and faces the door.

"Hello, Sp...Oh my god!", Emily exclaims as she sees Spencer's face, "What happend?"

Spencer remains quiet, she just sits down on her bed.

As Emily approaches, she takes a pile of clothes out of her bag. As soon as Spencer sees them, she flashes back on the night he gave them to her and her eyes-once again-fill with tears.

"_You won't cry now!_", she tells herself.

Emily watches Spencer's reaction to the clothes.

"Did something happen between you and Toby?", she asks and Spencer finally gives in, knowing that the girls will find out anyway.

"He broke up with me.", she says. And starts sobbing again. She wouldn't have thought that saying it out loud would hurt so much. It feels really real now.

"What?", Emily calls out, looking shocked and completly taken by surprise.

"_So I'm not the only one to be surprised."_

"Yeah, you heard it right.", Spencer says, finally pulling it together a little.

"But why?", Emily asks, sits down next to Spencer and grabs her hand, "Tell me about it if you want to."

So Spencer tells her. Everything. Sometimes she can feel that she's losing it again and she stops to take a few deep breaths, then continues.

When she's finally done, Emily seems at a loss for words. She just hugs her friend tightly.

"Could you do me a favour, Emily? Two favours actually?"

Emily nods: "Anything."

"Could you return those-", Spencer nods at his clothes, "-to him. I can't do that. And secondly, please, can you tell the girls? I don't want to go through it all over again?"

Emily nods: "Sure."

"Thanks, Em. For everything."

"Anytime.", Emily smiles, "Just tell me if you need anything else, ok?"

Spencer nods, glad that she has such good friends.

"I'll have to go, my mum wants me home. Unless,...do you want me to stay here for some more time?"

"I'm fine...Or at least I will be, soon. But thank you, Em.", Spencer replies and tries smiling like she wants to say: "I'm fine."

Apparently, it isn't really convincing, since Emely asks worriedly:

"Are you sure? I could stay..."

"No, I'm fine.", Spencer says. Maybe if she repeats it often enough, she'll actually believe it herself one day.

"Ok. Call me if you need anything! Bye Spencer!", Emily says, hugs her friend and walks out the door.

Alone again, Spencer feels the sadness and lonelyness hit her again, like a punch in the face.  
>"Spencer, want to have dinner with us?", she hears her mom call from downstairs.<p>

"No, I'm not hungry.", she calls back, turns over and crys some more. And after everything she had been through that day, Spencer falls asleep and with that the tears dry on her cheeks.

The next morning, just after she wakes up, for a few seconds she thinks everything is fine. But then the memories kick in.

Spencer groans and looks out her window, all she sees is dim, grey light.

She doesn't want to go school.

She really doesn't feel like it. She doesn't feel like doing anything exept stare at her ceiling and wonder why her boyfriend broke up with her. She just wants to stay in bed.

"_Spencer Hastings! You spent yesterday crying, crying, wondering and crying. Not today!_

_You're going to go to school and focus on your classes! You need to keep your grades up!"_

Finally, not wanting to but still doing it, she rises from her bed and gets ready. She's determined not to cry or show any emotion even if someone mentions the T-word.

She has decided to just focus on school. And maybe finding A, but nothing else. And for the first time in weeks, she's actually really glad that the _T-word-person_ doesn't go to her highschool anymore.

She's not happy, no. She's really, really sad. And she still doesn't know _why_ it happend, but she's just going to focus on other things. Her mom wouldn't let her stay home anyway. And she can do this!

When Spencer arrives at school that day the girls already wait at the parkinglot. Judging by their faces, Emily has already told them. Spencer takes a deep breath, reminds herself that she can do it and finally gets out of the car.

As she approaches the girls, she looks at them more carefully. They look really simular today, not only because of the worried and pitying looks plastered on all of their faces.

Aria, Emily and Hanna all wear their hair in ponytails, just like Spencer. They all wear a skirt too, like Spencer.

Hanna's is a short jeans skirt, Emily's is long and floating and Aria's looks a bit like the one Spencer's wearing: a waist skirt that goes down to her knees.

Spencer raises an eyebrow but she doesn't say anything. Instead she just hopes that none of her friends will mention the T-word any time soon and takes a tighter grip on her handbag.

After they all said hello, they start walking to class together. It's an akward silence and Spencer tries hard to think of something she could say to get rid of it.

"Hanna, did you talk to Caleb yet?", she asks and looks at the blonde girl walking next to her.

Seeming relieved that someone interrupted the silence, Hanna smiles, nods and smooths back a strand of her beautiful, long hair:

"Yes. I called him right after I got home from school yesterday."

"So, are you guys together again?", Spencer asks. Hanna suddenly looks wary.

"It's ok, I don't mind, honestly.", Spencer adds. And it's true. Hearing about any other, happy couples doesn't affect her like that.

"Ok. So, yes, we are!"

Spencer is sure that normally-if her boyfriend hadn't just dumped her-everyone would be far more exited about this. But she also doesn't know how to phrase that (without sounding strange) and so all she ends up saying is:

"Happy for you, Hanna!"

***A/N: So no cliffhanger this time! :) I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I hope I didn't exaggerate, her being lovesick and all. I don't like it that they broke up, it makes me so sad! But at least I know why. :) And just so you know, "Boyfriend" still doesn't seem like the right word but I really don't have any other ideas. So if you have one, please tell me about it. Pls keep reading and, please review!**

**XO **

**Layla***


	7. Authors note

**Hey guys! This is an all Authors Note! This is about the vote I had written about in the previous chapter. You know, the one about the songs. I'm going to give you all the options we have right now and I'll let you vote for the one you like best. Just review for it, tell me either the number or the name of the song that you think suits them. Just choose one of the options below:**

**When you say nothing at all (Ronan Keating)**

**Pieces of me by Ashlee Simpson**

**All I need by Within Temptation**

**When I look at you by Miley Cyrus**

**Find me by Boyce Avenue (Thanks for that idea to SpencerandTobyForever)**

**Hanging by a moment by lifehouse (Thanks for that idea to spobyfan-number1)**

**I promise you forever by Nasri (Thanks again to spobyfan-number1)**

**Because you loved me by Celine Dion (Thanks again :) to spobyfan-number1)**

**You found me by Kelly Clarkson**

**So, I'm going to go as far as to say that I want at least ten different people to vote. I'll continue as I have at least ten votes. Please only vote for one song, guys! I guess you'll have to choose :). Please, if you dont know the songs or dont remember the lyrics, listen to them! They're all great! **

**Love **

**XO**

**Layla**

**P.S.: The song will only appear later but I already need to know now to work with it!**


	8. Chapter 7

**Hey guys! I totally forget to add this in the beginning and I'm sooo terribly sorry! A big, big, big, big thank you to Alexis who reread my chapters to correct my spelling and phrasing mistakes! And believe me, there were a whole lot of them! More than you could imagine. :) Without you, Alexis, I'd never have been posting the story anyway! Love ya, soulmate! :) And just so you know, the last chapter-i didn't steal the idea for the weird break-up from the episode 10 (i think thats the latest one, right?)! I have written that chapter(6) somewhere in august...I promise I didn't steal the idea! And in case that anyone is wondering, i stopped the vote even though i only got 5 people to vote because i thouhgt its pointless ans mean to those who actually want to read...we went with "when I look at you". Hope you like it! Please R&R! Love**

Chapter 7: Lovesick

At lunch break, Aria, Emily, Hanna and Spencer sit at their usual table, when Caleb comes over. He brushes his brown hair out of his face and smiles as he gets closer.

Before Spencer has to watch them kiss, she looks down. She's certain that that would be too much with everything going on.

"Hanna...", Aria says meaningfully. Spencer looks up as she hears something scratching over the floor.

Hanna's standing up, apparently prepairing to leave. It only takes Spencer a few seconds to realize why.

"Hanna, you don't have to leave because of me!", she says. Although it would probably be easier that way, Spencer doesn't want Hanna to have to leave because of her.

"It's ok, don't worry!", Hanna says, flashing a smile, "I'll see you guys later!" She walks away, holding hands with her new-old-boyfriend.

Aria smiles: "It's so good to see her happy."

Spencer and Emily nod.

"Speaking of happy, how are you and Mr. Fitz-", Emily starts but Aria clears her throat, "...Ezra doing?"

"We're good, thanks. It's easier now that he doesn't teach at Rosewood anymore. But I'm still scared of my parents.", Aria admits.

She continues to say something but Spencer's mind drifts of. Again, she comes back to the question she has been asking herself ever since Toby said that they were over.

"_Why?"_, she asks herself even though she knows it's useless. She feels numb, somehow just going through the day just because she has to, nothing appears to be interesting for her.

She thinks that maybe this turn-every-feeling-of kind of way is easier even though she can't keep it up all the time. Like when she caught herself in history class, drifting away, absently drawing questionmarks around her notes, feeling her eyes fill with tears.

She had forced herself to focus on the classes. She just shouldn't think of it anymore. But too many things remind her of him or the feeling they had shared.

Not only his former locker that she had been dodging all day, taking longer detours to her classrooms. But other people too, not only couples but also boys with hair that looked his from the back. Or boys that walked like him, or that had the same eyecolor(even though she never saw that particular sparkle that made Toby's eyes unique).

Everytime that happend, she focused with all her power on something else. Anything. And so far, it had worked, she hadn't burst out crying. But she has been feeling miserable the whole day.

"Spencer!", Aria grabs her shoulder and shakes her slightly. Spencer snaps out of her thoughts again.

"Sorry.", Spencer mutters.

"Do you miss him?", Aria asks. Spencer focuses on her breathing to not burst out in tears.

"Of course, a lot. But right now I'm still wondering. It makes me crazy not to know why he broke up with me.", she explains.

"Why do you think knowing why he broke up with you would make you feel better?", Emily asks quietly.

Spencer thinks about it for a second:

"I think it's just me. I want to know what I did wrong, or why I wasn't enough. So I can make it better. The thing is, he completly surprised me with this, I did not at all see that coming. I'd want to know what happend to his feelings. Maybe I want to know why, so I can really accept it and maybe even understand.", she sighs, now closing her eyes to keep the tears from running down her cheeks.

"I could ask him, as a friend.", Emily offers.

Spencer opens her eyes, as she has controll over herself again.

"He'll think I sent you.", she says.

"I could say that you didn't. And that I won't tell you if he doesn't want me to.", Emily insists.

"That's nice of you, Emily. But firstly, I doubt he's going to tell you and secondly, it would just seem like I have to send my friends to ask him something I want to know.", Spencer murmurs.

She doesn't want him to think that she can't ask him herself or that she's so desperate.

"_Does it really matter now, what he thinks of me?"_, she asks herself.

"Maybe she's right, Emily.", Aria says.

Emily doesn't seem convinced but she lets it drop anyway.

"Would you want to do something with us today, like after school?", Aria asks, changing the subject.

Spencer thinks of it. She knows it would probably be better for her but she can't bring herself to say yes.

She's so tired of it already. Every minute is another challenge, she just wants to be on her own, in her room.

"I'm sorry, Aria, I don't want to be rude but I think I actually want to spend the afternoon alone.", she says, hoping that Aria doesn't misunderstand.

"Ok, no problem. But remember we are there for you.", Aria smiles.

"I know. Thanks!", Spencer manages to smile back but she can feel that it doesn't reach her eyes.

"No problem.", Aria smiles, then gets up, "I got to go! I have to talk to my mom, so...I'll see you later?"

"Later!", Spencer agrees.

When she gets home that afternoon after school, she walks straight into her room, closes the door behind her and leans against it.

"_I made it! I didn't lose it today!"_ She thinks, trying to feel anything but the sadness. It doesn't work, she doesn't feel better.

Sighing, Spencer walks to her bed, finally giving in to the tears that had been wanting to burst out the whole day.

Spencer feels relieved to just be able to let the tears run down her cheeks, not having to hold them back every minute of the day.

She's hurting, she's in a lot of pain. It's still really hard for her to believe that he actually broke up with her, because it was so out of the blue, not a single warning.

"_Or maybe there were signs and I didn't realize?_"

She tries her best to remember if there was anything. Any sign. She tries to see if there was any time when he had reacted differently. Or annoyed. But she doesn't seem to remember anything about.

Instead, she starts flashing back on happy memories. The surprised look on his face when she had first stepped onto his porch.

The first little, mutual smile they had shared sitting on that porch, half learning french, half talking about other things.

His grin when he teased her at the hotel. His smile when he saw her being kind of upset when he won the game of scrabble.

Whatever reason he had to break up with her, it didn't matter back then. He wouldn't have kissed her otherwise, would he?

When they were studying in her room, maybe he realized that she was boring? But that doesn't make sense either, he seemed to have enjoyed it. And he had been the same person all the time.

He had taken walks with her, had smiled with, had kissed her.

Spencer's eyes fill with tears as she remembers how he'd listened to her, twice. Once about the fight with her friends, when he had let her cry, leaning against him.

And when she'd told him about A, when he had listened and understood. Sureley, he hadn't had that reason to break up with her back then, either, right?

And she still -so badly- wants to know why he did what he did.

"_But I guess I'll never find out."_, Spencer thinks, trying to ignore the sharp pain that this thought causes. She kind of wishes she had taken Emily's offer to ask Toby about it. But it's too late for that, too.

When she's putting on the song "The first cut is the deepest", there's a knock on the door and then her mom's voice:

"Honey?"

Spencer takes a deep breath, clears her throat and gets up to wipe away the the tears while answering:  
>"Yeah?"<p>

"Sweetheart, can I come in?", her mom asks.

"_It's been a while since she's actually asked me that instead of just bursting in."_, Spencer notices. By looking at her big mirror she makes sure noone can see that she had been crying, then calls out:

"Sure, come in!"

Her mom comes in, looking a bit suspicious.

"Mom, I'll do my homework in a sec!", she says more harshly than she had intented to.

But instead of snapping back at her daughter like Spencer would have expected, she walks over and sits down on the bed, motioning for Spencer to join her.

Hesistating, Spencer looks at her mom before finally deciding to sit on the edge of the bed.

"Are you alright, honey? You've locked yourself in your room for the last two days. I'm getting worried, you know.", her mom explains.

"Yeah?", Spencer asks, not being able to think of anything else to say, and also not capable of fully keeping the sarcasm about her mom's _concern_ out of her voice, since this is nothing like her mom.

"Listen, sweetie, I know you're not happy about the situation, me and your dad setting this rule..."

_"That's what it's all about, her feeling bad about that!"_, Spencer realized but that doesn't keep her from getting angry.

"You think? That I'm _not happy_ about you and dad basically observing me?", Spencer bursts out, "You don't trust me at all! How do you actually think that makes me feel?"

Spencer knows that this outburst is not about her parents' stupid rule. She just needs to blow of steam.

About A, about not getting any further with finding out who A is, and mostly about Toby breaking up with her. Not saying why.

Even though she knows all that and she also knows that this might not be entirely fair, she can't stop herself. And it really is way over the top what her parents did by setting up this rule.

Her mom is clearly shocked about her reaction:

"No...it's not like we don't trust you, Spencer...it's just..."

"If you trust me, why would you actually controll every step I take, and actually check on me if I tell you that I'll spend the night at Emily's?", Spencer hisses.

Now that she's actually started, she's just going to tell her mom everything she thinks about this new rule. And she thinks a lot about that!

Her mom's now completly confused. She's not used to Spencer the way she's behaving right now. It's nothing like herself, Spencer has to admit to herself.

So it takes her mom some time to respond:  
>"I wasn't checking on you, sweetie, I was just there to bring you new clothes!"<p>

"Yeah, right!", Spencer snorts sarcastically, "When was the last time you did _that_?"

Her mom remains silent after that. Seems to Spencer that she doesn't know what to say because her mom knows Spencer's right. Finally, she walks out, saying:

"I'm sorry."

Spencer stands there for another minute. She's actually never been the kind of girl who'd be all immature and teenage-y to her parents. Like yelling at them instead of having a civilized argument.

"_I guess situations like that actually change you."_, she thinks. She knows that this was way over the top and that she's going to get in trouble for it. But it doesn't really matter to her.

At least she got some of her trouble of her chest and her anger is already gone. But the sadness, lonelyness and the numb feeling come back and she wishes the anger back.

"_The first cut is the deepest..._", it comes out of her radio-speakers slightly modified.

"_They're wrong about that. This wasn't the first cut but it was definately the deepest and it really hurts. _

_I'm being way over the top with this. I shouldn't waste one single tear on this teenage-relationship-thing that wasn't going to last anyway..._

_It's just that I thought me and Toby, we really had something. And maybe that we COULD last if we tried. _

_We could go through everything together. He was my safe place to land and I felt like he really loved me._

_How could I have been so wrong about this?..._

_He broke up with me without blinking, just like that. It's not really like him. Why can't I know why he did it?"_, she thinks, feeling her eyes fill with tears again, "_Come on!"_

Spencer starts cleaning up her room really neatly and properly to clear her head, have something to do and time to think of things. Emptying her wardrobe, the desk drawer, the boxes under her bed she hadn't touched for ages, just everything.

When she's neatly folding her clothes and putting them back into her wardrobe, she comes upon a long, light beach-dress in a beautiful shade of blue and she has a flashback:

She was about nine and on holiday in Italy with her parents. They'd had such a good time, it was actually really hot and sunny. Her parents had been relaxed and nothing like they were at home.

Melissa and Spencer who'd been fighting several times-though not half as oftenas they were now with all this rivalry going on between them-had been getting along really well.

They'd walked to a beautiful, huge market that Spencer still remembers so clearly, and she had spotted the most beautiful dress she had ever seen in her life:

It was big-too big for her-and it was floating in the light breeze so nicely. It had an oceanblue color and there was a ribbon made of beautiful seashells going around it's waistline.

Spencer had fallen in love with it and when the friendly, elderly owner had noticed her staring at it in awe she'd waved to let Spencer take a closer look.

"Mommy, Daddy, look at this!", Spencer had called out and dragged her parents and Melissa to the booth.

"It's pretty.", her mom had said.

"Mommy, can I have it?", she had asked.

"It's way too big for you, sweetie!", her mom said, "You're not going to be able to wear it."

And Spencer started a real discussion right there, trying to convince her parents to buy the expensive dress for her that she had fallen in love with at first sight.

Finally, her mom had laughed, noticing people staring and smiling at the little girl.

"You'd make one good lawyer!", she'd said.

"Ok, my little princess, I'll buy it for you.", her dad had said and bought it. Spencer remembers that she had been so happy, resisting to carry the dress in her hand, making sure everyone saw it.

That was actually the last time she remembers her dad calling her "little princess".

_"I'll have to wear it again some time soon since it fits me perfectly now."_, she smiles to herself.

Spencer sighs. When she's done cleaning everything up neatly-having stopped for some time looking at the tons of pictures she has collected-she falls onto her bed.

It's the first time since the breakup that she hadn't actually wondered why it happend. She knows that keeping herself busy is the best she can do.

There's a knock on the window. For a brief, happy second she thinks it's Toby but reality catches up to her pretty fast. It's Emily standing at the slide door.

She's changed into dark jeans and a red shirt and she she looks really pretty-as usual.

Spencer opens the door and lets her friend in.

"Hey Emily! What are you doing here?", Spencer asks.

"I wanted to tell you something.", Emily says, sits on the bed, drops her bag to the floor and pats the spot next to her.

Spencer sits down:

"So?"

"I went to Toby's today to drop of his clothes you gave to me...and I noticed something...a little weird.", Emily says. By the mention of Toby's name, Spencer feels a mix of emotions: pain, desire, sadness,...

"What?", she asks, trying to ignore the flood of emotions.

***A/N: "Not again!", I hope someone says that as it's a cliffhanger once again! And of course I hope you're not too mad at me for this. What is it, Emily? Just to warn you, it's not really that special so don't get your hopes up! :) But I promise, there'll be interesting things happening soon enough. Please guys, review! It would mean so much to me to know what you're thinking and what you like about it, what you dislike, too. Pls review! I wanted to ask you all something and I hope I'll get an answer: There's a number of days put next to the chapters when I'm uploading them. It starts with 60 but it's like a countdown. What happens if the days are up? Pls review for that but not only because of it! Keep reading!**

**XO**

**Layla***


	9. Chapter 8

Chapter 8-The sleepover

**Hey guys! A main part of this chapter is inspired by the idea of one of my first reviewers "alesin123". Thank you so much for this, alesin123, and I really hope this is what you expected and that you like it! Pls, guys, feel free to tell me anything. If you like it or not, what you like best, what you don't like... You can also tell me about your ideas for the next chapters or how I should improve it. Pls, I'd really want to know. And if I like it, I'll be sure to bring it into the story. Not rright away maybe, but sometime later! Pls REVIEW, it would mean the world to me(and i cant say it often enough! Love, Layla.**

**And on we go:**

Emily has a weird expression on her face, a mix of confusion and...something else Spencer can't identify.

"Toby seemed unhappy, even sad. And he was...jumpy, nervous. That's nothing like him.", Emily says.

"And?", Spencer asks, not really getting what Emily wants to say.

"You told me that he was acting cold, right? Showing no emotions?", Emily presses.

Spencer focuses really hard not to flash back to that horrible moment and she nods.

"Well, emotionless wasn't really how he behaved. And I thought there was something wrong the second you told me, so I asked him why he broke up with you.", Emily continues.

"You did what?", Spencer asks, surpised because Emily never was the kind of person to ask people about their private lifes just like that.

"I asked him why he broke up with you. And guess what he said?", Emily challenges, causing Spencer to shrug. She has no idea.

But the thought of finding out why Toby had broken up with her sends a thrill through her body.

Is she finally going to know the reason? Will it be bad? Will she be able to handle it?

She really wants to know!  
>"He said: 'I...can't talk about this.' Can you imagine?", Emily asks, while Spencer looks down to hide the disappointment that is shown on her face. She thought she'd maybe find out.<p>

She'd thought that maybe-finally-she could stop wondering about it.

"Spencer, all of this makes no sense. First him being jumpy, then this weird answer. That's not Toby! I knew there was something wrong with this!", Emily goes on, not noticing Spencer's numb expression.

"He never seemed like the type to keep secrets like that about something like that.", Emily goes on, looking at Spencer as if trying to get her to say that he did seem like the type.

But instead Spencer just says:

"He never seemed like the type to dump me without explanation, either. People aren't always who we thought they were.", Spencer says, sighing. She had been so sure she actually knew Toby. But she had been wrong, she didn't know him.

Emily examines Spencer carefully.

"Don't you want to know why he did this?", she finally asks.

"You see, Emily, I don't think I'll ever find out and so I try to convince myself that I don't have to know, that I don't need that.

I seem to have a thing with these sort of things, getting obsessed...", she says, sighing as she realizes her friends might have been right about this whole A-obsession-thing, though the breakup with Toby kind of distracted her. A lot, actually.

"Spencer, stop it! You know that's not true."

Spencer lifts an eyebrow at her friend.

"Everyone wonders why their partners broke up with them if they aren't given a real reason. That's not obsession, that's normal."

Emily's voice sounds resolved, nothing like her.

"You just don't want to believe it, do you?", Spencer asks.

"_A bit like myself. Trying to find a reason instead of just accepting the obvious one, that he doesn't love me anymore._", she thinks and it causes her pain.

But that's not the worst. The worst part is, that now, there's a small part of her thinking that maybe there is a reason, a real one. That he still loves her but can't be with her. For some reason.

There's hope. Hope that is dumed to be destroyed. And that is meant to cause her pain. But she can't get rid of it, the small part of her just holds on to it.

Emily shakes her head.

"I don't want you to have wrong hopes that might hurt you even more. But I think that you two really _are_ special. And I know Toby, he's just not the type to do something like that.", she explains.

"_See!_", the small part of Spencer seems to scream at the rest of her, "_Emily thinks it, too!"_

Spencer remains silent. She is struggling.

Finally, she answers:  
>"Maybe. But I can't do this, Emily. I just need to accept it."<p>

Emily doesn't seem to agree. But she decides not to push it any further, for she can see how much it hurts her friend.

"Ok, I understand. Well, I'm sorry. And I have to go but I'll call you, ok?", she says, hugs Spencer and walks out the slide door, waving as Spencer calls "Bye!" after her.

The next day, when Spencer gets to school, Aria, Hanna and Emily are already waiting at her locker.

"Hi, girls! What's up?", she asks.

"We made a plan. And you can't say no to this, you're not allowed!", Hanna says, smiling broadly.

Spencer suspicously lifts her eyebrows. What are they up to?

"We're having a sleepover. Today. At my house. My mom's out.", Hanna still grins.

"No-boy-zone.", Aria adds.

Spencer smiles, seeing how her friends want to cheer her up and she knows that that is what she need. Distraction.

"Ok, sure.", she says. The girls smile.

"I have to get to class.", Emily says and the others nod and the girls go their different ways. For now.

That night, as Spencer drives to Hanna's house, she's still angry with her parents for actually calling Hanna's mom in her meeting to make sure she knew about _all this_.

Luckily, Ms. Marin had been quite understanding and ensureing Spencer's parents that she knew about the sleepover, leaving Spencer's mom a little bit embarassed.

When Spencer drives to Emily's house to pick her friend up, she sees Toby sitting in his porch, most likely working on another of his wooden, homemade figures.

Spencer's heart is racing in her chest, hoping that he won't see her but at the same time wondering what would happen if he would.

She hates it, not knowing what will happen. Not being in controll. But she's learned that the only person she really_ can_ controll is herself. And she hasn't succeded in that either in the last few days.

She stops in front of Emily's house and looks over at her ex-boyfriend(**please everyone! I hate calling Toby her boyfriend or ex-boyfriend, it doesn't feel right. Any other ideas?**).

And that's when his head pops up and he looks at her.

Even though it's almost dark and he's 20 meters away, she can still see something sparkling in his blue eyes that makes her want to jump out of the car and throw herself into his arms.

"_Talk about controlling yourself!"_, she thinks angryly as a pretty clear image of her and Toby kissing comes to her mind.

It sends a sharp pain through her, being so close and distant at the same time, tears start welling up in her eyes.

She realizes it's the first time she actually sees him after that horrible day he broke up with her.

And it still hurts so much, it's unbelievable.

Spencer swallows and tears her teary eyes away from his gaze.

It's only then that she realizes Emily standing at the passanger seat door, looking at her with lifted eyebrows, a pitying look on her face.

Spencer nods for her to get in.

"Hey Em!", she says as her friends opens the door and gets in.

"Do you want to talk a...?", Emily starts but Spencer immediantly shakes her head as she starts the car and stops herself from looking at the rear view mirror.

She breathes a sigh of relief when she has rounded the corner.

"Are you sure?", Emily asks, not giving up easily.

"Can we please not talk about this? At least for tonight?", Spencer asks her friend with pleading eyes.

Emily just nods and they drive to Hanna's house in silence, at a loss for words.

When they get inside, Hanna and Aria-who's apparently been in the house since after school-have changed the whole place into a girl-slumber-party-place, looking as if they cut it out of a movie.

There are all sorts of comfortable, colorfull pillows strewn over the entire floor, there are tons of sweets on the couch and there is a metre-high pile of DVD's next to the huge flat-screen-TV.

"Wow!", Spencer says, a smile on her face.

She didn't feel like doing this earlier but now she is definately in the mood for some girls-time.

"I know. We're awesome!", Hanna laughs. She's swearing a glittery pink sweater and grey, girly sweatpants.

Emily and Spencer drop their bags next to Aria's and sit down on some pillows next to Aria who is wearing an oversized hoodie and a pair of black shorts.

"Who's hoodie is that?", Spencer asks, thinking that she already knows the answer to that.

"Ezra's.", Aria says, blushing and-like very often with the girls-showing all her emotions on her face.  
>"Cute!", Hanna giggles, making Aria blush worse.<p>

"C'mon, Hanna, stop it! Leave poor Aria alone!", Spencer says, laughing.

"Thanks!", Aria mumbles under her breath but a huge smile is spreading across her face, showing that she doesn't really mind being teased by her friends.

"How's it going with _Ezra _then?", Emily asks, emphasing the name to make fun of Aria who insits that the girls refer to their former english teacher as "Ezra".

Aria sticks her tongue out but answers anyway:

"We're good." She seems to struggle if wether or not to say what she's about to say. Finally, she does:

"He's fun to be with. And understanding. And lovely...", she smiles, a sort of dreamy expression on her face.

"And freaking hot for a teacher!", Hanna adds.

Emily, Aria, Hanna and Spencer burst out laughing.

"Speaking of happy, how's it going with you and Caleb, Hanna?", Spencer asks once they've all calmed down.

"We're great! And he really does seem sorry for what he did and lets me know that quite often.", she smiles. As Spencer looks at her, she can see a happy girl. And that's what she wants her friends to be: happy.

"Uuuuhhh!", Aria calls out.

Hanna laughs and throws her hair back.

"Who wants to play 'Spin the bottle'?", Emily suddenly asks as she has just discovered a plastic bottle on the floor.

"I do!", the other three exlaim.

Emily is the first to spin the bottle. Hanna.

"Hanna. Truth or dare?"

"Dare.", Hanna answers bravely, closing her eyes, obviously hoping that the others will come up with something half way nice.

Spencer, Aria and Emily are whispering. Finally, Emily says:

"We want you to strip for us."

At Hanna's completly surpised face the others burst out laughing again. Spencer notices that she hasn't had that much fun in weeks, months actually.

With the girls, anyway.

She had fun with Toby-she shouldn't think about that anymore!-but there always was a romantic touch to it which she loved but it wasn't just pure, girly fun which was quite frankly what she needed right now.

Hanna, who is probably the one of the four that would be least embarassed to do what she is dared to, frowns.

"Oh my...!", she sighs, "Fine! If you _really_ want me to." She grins broadly, looking at the others.

And then she starts.

It's going on for about ten minutes and Spencer can't breathe anymore and her stomach aches because she's laughing so much. Seeing Hanna playing sexy and ridiculous at the same time is hilarious!

When Hanna finally stops, a smug grin on her face and only wearing her black underwear, Emily, Spencer and Aria are lying on the floor, not being able to move or breathe. Let alone talk.

It takes them some time to calm down and when they do, Hanna has already settled in own of the pillows on the floor, grinning and looking smug. She has put her pajamas back on.

"Next!", Hanna calls out and spins the bottle. Aria.

"Aria, my dear! Truth or dare?"

"Truth.", Aria decides, clearly wanting to avoid having to do what Hanna had to do.

Before Emily or Spencer can even bend over to discuss what they are going to ask, Hanna spits out her question:

"Give us one _detailed_ description of Mr. Fitz' body. _Detailed_, Aria!", she says.

"_Oh my god, poor Aria!"_, Spencer thinks as she sees Aria's face grow horrified.

"Oh nooo!", she groans.

"Oh yes!", Hanna calls out and gives Aria a look so she starts while she leans back against the couch.

They continue playing truth or dare for another half an hour. (**Yes, I'm being mean and boring and no, you're not going to get to read what Aria says. :) Maybe one day when I finished the story I'll publish a chapter about the truth or dare game. Sorry, guys! :) I know I'm mean. :D**)

They have a lot of fun, and a lot of embarassment is involved, too.

Later on, they watch some romantic comedys in a row. When they finish "The breakup", Emily voices her thoughts:

"Girls, let's spend some time catching up. Because I sure want us to talk about things."

Hanna, just getting comfortable with a bag of chips in her hands, murmurs:

"What do you want to talk about?"

"How about we just ask the others questions and they'll decide if they want to answer it?", Emily asks.

They all nod.

"So,...", Emily looks at Aria, "...what is the best and the worst thing about being with Ezra?"

Aria seems to think about it, then says:

"The best things are that no matter what, I can always count on Ezra. He listens to me and he's sweet around me. And he's...mature, you know. And I stay with him because I love him. But there are bad things, too.

For once, us not being able to really show our love to anyone isn't nice. I have to hide that I'm with him and I don't like that. And the other problem is, that he could have a family by now. And go out with a woman his age, maybe have kids or be married..."

She trails of, looking really sad.

"I'm sorry, Aria. But Ezra doesn't want to be with anyone but you. He loves you, too.", Hanna says.

Aria smiles weakly:

"Technically, I know that. He tells me and I see it in his eyes. But when I see him talk to older women or thoughtfully stare at young families..."

The girls nod. Aria whipes her eyes-since tears have begun to form in them-and turns to Emily:

"How do you actually deal with being gay? Like, how do you feel about it?", she asks.

Spencer would want to know that, too. And she suddenly feels like right now, she could tell her friends absolutely anything.

"Well, at the beginning, when I realized some things were...different, I tried everything to deny it, I didn't admit it.

Then there came some point, when I coudn't deny it any longer. And you can't believe how hard it was, for me to admit it to myself. Probably the hardest part.

And then, later on I realized-partly thanks to Maya-that it's part of who I am, that I am who I am and that everyone that loves me has to accept that, no matter what.

But it was a long way."

That was one of the longest speeches Spencer ever heard Emily make and she can tell how much this means to her friend. And she admires her for being so strong in a situation that couldn't have been easy at all.

"What about other people's reaction to it?", Aria asks. Now that they are talking, there's so much everyone would want to know.

"Well, it hurts. Especially if it's someone close to you that reacts badly. But I had to learn how to deal with it and now that I've accepted it as a part of me, I'm doing better."

They all smile.

"Spencer?", Emily asks. Spencer notices that Emily has been talking quite a lot recently. For Emily, at least.

Spencer looks at her friend questiongly.

"How are you really doing with the break-up and all?", she asks.

Spencer looks down.

"Just tell us. No matter what it is, we won't judge.", Aria says.

"_Should I tell him everything?"_, Spencer wonders.

***You're guessing right! Another sort-of-cliffhanger, though it's not really one because you already know how she's doing with the break-up. The question is more how much she'll tell. I'm sorry that especially the beginning(but the rest, too) was a little bit out of character for Emily but I needed her to be like this for this chapter. Sorry! Guys, pls, pls, pls, pls REVIEW! That would mean so much to me! Can someone tell me where I can see how many people are reading my story? Pls advertise for me if you can!keep reading and reviewing! Love you, guys!**

**XO**

**Layla**

**P.S.: What would you guys think of me writing a chapter from Toby's Point Of View? Would you like that or not? Please REVIEW! Tell me what you think! Though it would only be appearing some time later because it'll need some preparation...So?***


	10. Chapter 9

**Hey guys! That is going to be a shorter chapter because I'm quite busy and all that. I'm sorry and I promise it's not going to happen often! I just have a lot to do and even though I'm on holiday it's unbelievably busy. Well and here goes another disclaimer:**

**I don't own the scene that Spencer is flahing back on in this chapter. I don't own the series or the characters either, just to say that again. (As if anyone didn't know that :P).**

**Ok, pls review! Love you guys!**

**And if you notice, the grammar and spelling and punctation is better now and that all thanks to my amazing beta JacksonMiracle...Thank you!**

**And...on we go:**

Chapter 9-The truth

Spencer looks down and bites her lip. Finally she decides to do it, to tell the truth:

"I'm not handling this really well. It's very hard for me. I miss him, but the most I can do is wonder why. I keep thinking I'll feel better when I find out. But I don't think that will happen. And it hurts that he could just break up with me without blinking. I thought we were special, I...thought he loved me. And I loved...love him." she says, feeling the tears form in her eyes again.

The girls look at her, pitying her.

"I'm very sorry, Spencer." Aria says and she gives her friend a hug. It feels good having someone care about how she feels. Spencer feels one single tear run down her cheek as Emily and Hanna join the hug.

"I'm sorry, girls. To ruin the mood like that. I don't know what's going on with me lately, I'm not usually like this." she sobs. And it's true. She really wonders sometimes what caused her to change so much: from the ambitious, competitive, strong Spencer to the one she is now, the one crying over a boy(ok, he's not any boy, but still...) for days and being insecure all the time.

"You don't always have to be perfect, Spencer." Hanna says softly and smiles at her friend, "You can cry. You don't have to be ashamed of that at all, it's normal."

Spencer smiles. She knows that. But she is sure that she's depending on Toby and she isn't sure how she feels about that fact. She used to like it when they were together, but now...

She's insecure and somehow weak without him, and she doesn't like feeling this way at all. She doesn't really like that he has such an effect on her either.

That's also what she tells her friends.

"You were always a strong person. The strongest person our age that I know. And you're rational and clever. And you stand up for what you believe in." Emily says, comfortingly rubbing Spencer's back.

"And crying or being sad doesn't make you weak." Aria adds.

"Thanks, girls! But I think if you continue praising me like that I'm going to start believing it." she grins.

The others laugh. And for another two hours the girls keep talking, serious and light-hearted topics taking turns. And with another movie they fall asleep on their pillows.

The next morning, Spencer wakes up and it takes her a minute to remember where she is but then everything clicks into place.

She sits up, smiling as she sees Aria, Emily and Hanna asleep peacefully beside her.

She gets up and brews some coffee for all of them.

Right about when she's done with the coffee, Hanna sits up. She looks funny, her blonde hair sticking up in every direction.

"Morning!" she yawns.

"Morning!" Spencer grins.

The other two girls wake up then as well.

"I made some coffee." Spencer smiles cheerfully. She's in a good mood.

"None for me, thanks!" Emily says with a weird expression on her pretty, sleepy face.

"No, thanks!", Aria says. Hanna just grinningly shakes her head.

"What's going on?" Spencer asks, raising her eyebrows.

"Nothing." Emily says, all too innocently.

"Guys?" Spencer presses.

"Ok, if you must know, your coffee tastes horrible." Hanna says.

"Hanna!" Emily warns but she can't hold her grin back.

"What? Seriously?" Spencer asks.

The others nod and burst out laughing as they see Spencer's playfully insulted face.

"I'm sorry, Spence, but it's seriously bad." Aria says.

Spencer sticks out her tongue but she can't help laughing.

The girls now show her how to brew "drinkable", as Hanna calls it,coffee and they have a lot of fun doing it.

When Spencer leans against the counter and looks outside, she sees that the weather is good, almost perfect. Like the one day in her room, when she and Toby had been studying together. The day that she loved so much. Even though now, it's painful to remember.

She was lying on her bed and Toby was sitting on the arm chair opposite her, reading a book.

Spencer was studying and she loved the way that his sitting there made her feel.

Like she wasn't alone, like there was someone there for her. And she felt safe for the first time in months in her room. Just because Toby was there, sitting and reading.

It was the day they had planned the blackmailing of Ian. The day everything had gone terribly wrong.

When she looked up from her book, their eyes met and she smiled to show him how happy she was about him being there with her.

"Are you sure this is how you want to spend the afternoon?" he asked, teasing, the grin she loved so much showing on his face, and of course revealing the dimple on his chin. She smiled.

"I like having you here." she said.

And it was so true! She loved how they just spent time together and she loved how-for whatever reason-she could be honest with him, and she trusted him and he trusted her.

"Because it makes a statement to your family?", he asked. Spencer shook her head.

"Noo." she repeated, "Because I like having you here."

He smiled and she looked at the dimple on his chin once again, feeling herself smile, too.

How could he even think that she invited him over to make a statement to her family?

He should know that she wasn't that kind of a person.

But then again, they hadn't known each other for that long and he had every right to be suspicious. He'd been treated by her and everyone else all last year.

He smiled his breathtaking smile that she loved so much, and that revealed the dimple on his chin yet again.

"And I like being here." he said.

Just hearing him say that made her feel warm on the inside because she knew he meant what he said.

He was an honest person. She loved this about him. When he said something, he really meant it.

"Do you want to talk about tonight? About what might happen?" he added after some time, still examining her with his surprisingly blue eyes.

She tensed a little. It was a difficult topic. And she had already talked about it so much, she didn't want to think about it right now. And she didn't want the afternoon ruined by it, either, so she said:

"I think I have it all talked out, you know."

He looked at her for a couple of seconds with a look on his face that seemed like he could see right through her.

"Come here!" he said, standing up. And when she didn't move, he repeated,

"Come over here!"

Slowly getting up from her bed, she asked:

"What?"

He was turning the arm chair so it was facing the window-which he opened, leaving Spencer in the middle of the room, looking at his broad shoulders and his muscular back.

The sun made his brown hair shine.

He sat down on the arm chair again, motioning for her to join him.

She did that with pleasure, smiling.

And, slightly hesitating, she leaned back against the chair and against his arm that was now-sort of-around her. Her legs were half lying on his and she couldn't believe how comfortable, safe and _happy_ she felt.

She leaned back against his arm while he started reading again. His right hand played with her hair. And Spencer watched the sun outside her window, enjoying the fresh air and the way this made her feel.

She must have fallen asleep, because she woke when her cell phone buzzed in her bag by the bed. Toby looked at her-smiling a happy and content smile that reflected her feelings. But she had to check her phone anyway.

She got up-sighing and walked over. It was a text from Melissa:

**"Can you pick me up? Ian didn't show up. -Melissa"**

"It's Melissa. Ian never showed up at the church. She needs a ride." she explained. She wanted him to know who this text was from. She wanted him to see that she was honest with him, that she trusted him. Even if it was just a text from her sister.

Toby got up. By looking at his face, she knew that he was going to say something that he'd been thinking about, and just wasn't sure whether to say it or not.

"I'm keeping Jenna busy like you wanted me to but I wish I was going with you tonight." he said. She loved that she knew him so well now.

Spencer knew that that was what he thought. She knew that he wanted to keep her safe, that he wanted to be there when she was doing something that might be dangerous. And she liked that

But she also knew that he couldn't come with her. Not tonight. And because she had known that he was going to mention that, she had already prepared an answer.

"You're helping me by finding out if she's part of this..." she said and took a deep breath. She had another reason for him to stay out of this but it really wasn't easy for her to say. She looked into his bright blue eyes and she decided to let him know.

"Look, I've never had a safe place to land. But now I feel like I do. And I want you to stay safe."

Toby smiled, a warm expression in his eyes and she was glad that she had been able to say it.

"If you need anything, I'll be there for you." he said and-because she knew he meant what he said-she felt safe.

"I love knowing that." she said, feeling the sun shine on her face. What a beautiful day it had been so far.

They kissed and she felt herself relax completely into the safety of his arms wrapped around her.

Spencer blinks. One single tear is running down her cheek. Safety. She didn't ever think that that would be so important to her. Of course, she likes to control and know as much as she can, but she also isn't a person that doesn't take risks.

And Toby did manage to make her feel completely safe. She did grow to love that and it is one of the things she misses the most.

When Spencer has finally wiped the tear away, she joins the other girls in the living room and they decide to go out for a bit.

As they stroll through the park, laughing, Spencer suddenly sees two people a few feet away from them that haven't noticed them yet. Spencer mouths: "Quiet for a sec, please!" and hides behind a bush when she sees who those people are, Toby and Jenna.

She has the feeling that something is going on that she might actually want to know about, she doesn't even know why.

"...did you want to tell me, Toby?" Jenna asks, using a rather seductive voice that sends a shiver of fear and disgust down Spencer's spine. Jenna takes a small step towards her stepbrother. Toby looks at her in disgust which makes Spencer, who had been holding her breath until then, sigh with relief.

"I wanted to tell you something.", Toby says, "You can do all you want but we're not going back to the way we were."

That is what Jenna wants? Still? Despite Garret? Spencer sees on her friends' faces that they are confused, too.

"Come on, Toby! You and me, it was..." Jenna says, taking another step forward and lets her hand search for Toby's.

"Something I'm ashamed of." he says. There is no warmth in his eyes, no pity. Spencer has never seen him so cold before. Not even when he broke up with her. She doesn't like the expression on his face.

"Look, just because I have to stay away from Spencer, doesn't mean I will come back to you.", Toby says.

Spencer's heart is racing.

_What does Jenna have to do with me and Toby breaking up? And why did he say "_Can't_ be with her."? He was the one that ended our relationship._ Spencer thinks and despite her best efforts, hope comes into her heart and she listens even more carefully.

"You better stay away from her! Because you know what happens if you don't...", Jenna threatens, her voice sounding cold now, "And you know that I'll find out if you break the rules."

Spencer stares at her friends with wide eyes. Jenna is blackmailing Toby? For what reason? What did she threaten to do?

_But that also means that he didn't break up with me because he doesn't love me anymore..._

Spencer feels a warmth in her heart and she can't even start to describe what she feels like.  
>Toby still loves her!<p>

"You call blackmailing "rules"? Well, just because I won't let Spencer and her friends go to jail for what they did to you, doesn't mean I don't love her anymore. And you can't change that."

Spencer almost runs out of their hiding place and directly into his arms. He still loves her! Just like she loves him.

This is the happiest moment in the last week and all she can think about is that he loves her. That he broke up with her _for her_.

"Let's see about that." Jenna growls and now there's hurt in her voice, "But I'm warning you. You better not break the rules."

Jenna starts walking off, her wooden stick clicking on the pavement. When she gets into a cab and drives off, Spencer comes out of her hiding place and walks towards Toby.

Her friends smile and walk of for a bit to give them some privacy.

"Toby!" Spencer calls out, her voice revealing all her emotions: Hope, love, desire...

Toby turns and looks at her.

***A/N: Yep! And here we go again with a cliffhanger. :) I'm sorry that this chapter is a little bit shorter...And just to warn you: The next chapter is sort of in Toby's POV...I don't if I can get that right. Let's see! I hope you're all waiting for them to get back together. And just to tell you, I couldn't wait to let Spencer find out about Jenna's actions but I had to keep it a secret for a while. Pls tell me what you think of it! REVIEW PLEASE! Thx for reading and keep on doing that. And review(u can't say that often enough)!**

**XO**

**Layla***


	11. Chapter 10

**Hey guys! I am terribly sorry for updating soooooooooo late! It's just that I was really sick and wasn't allowed near my computer even if I wanted to. I hope you can forgive me! I just wanted to say a quick thanks to "HannaDiLaurentis", "Sara", "K" and "PrettyLittleFan" for their reviews! Thanks, it means a lot to me! Normally, I'd respond to your reviews personally but I can't so it has to be this way. :) So guys, please keep reading and reviewing! It means the world to me! Love, Layla**

Chapter 10-We might not all get our happy ending

"Spencer!", Toby calls out as the sight of her completly takes him by surprise, "What are you doing here?"

She looks at him strangely-as if she'd expected him to react differently, and comes to a stop a few feet away from him.

Her face looks so hopeful and relieved.

"I overheard your conversation with Jenna." she explains. Hope glitters in her big, dark brown eyes. He knows where this is headed and it hurts him to think about what he has to do.

This is the first time since he broke up with her that they actually talk to each other.

The memory of her crying and pleading still haunts him. So does the memory of the feeling of his heart breaking as he saw her so hurt and knew that it was his fault.

"And?" he asks, trying to stay calm. She looks so beautiful, the way she's standing there, smiling at him, eyes filled with hope.

"So I thought..." she starts.

"What?" he interrupts. He can't let her talk too much because he knows that every second they talk to each other he gets closer to just giving up, closer to closing the short distance between them and taking her in his arms and trying to protect her from everything that could hurt her.

"We didn't have to break up." she murmurs, a little confused. He can see in her eyes that she knows something is wrong with him and that she's trying to figure out what it is.

But she's still hopeful.

"Yes, we did." he says simply so she doesn't hear the pain in his voice.

"But why?" Spencer asks. He can see that she's getting sad again and he would give everything to make her happy instead. But he can't.

"Because...didn't you hear what Jenna just said?" he tries to explain. She looks like she's going to protest. And he doesn't know if he could handle that.

But then she looks at the floor.

"I'm still glad." she whispers.

That takes him by surprise. That's what he likes about her, too. Most of the time he knows what she's going to do or say but sometimes she also manages to completely surprise him.

"Why? What difference does it make?" he asks before he can stop himself. Why does he even ask? To make it harder for both of them?

"It makes a huge difference to me, Toby. I didn't know why you ended it.", she says and he sees tears in her eyes as she continues, "I thought you didn't love me anymore." Her voice is just a quiet whisper now.

He feels the urge to step forward, to hug her, to take the pain away from her. But yet again-he can't.

"I'm sorry.", he says, "But that doesn't change anything."

"Yes, it does!" she contradicts.

"We could meet secretly?" she asks timidly. He can tell that she's not happy about that idea but would do it. He can see that she doesn't have much hope anymore and it hurts him to see her like that and to know that he's the one responsible for her pain. He always wanted to keep her safe, to keep her from getting hurt.

He shakes his head, looking away from her for a second to compose his expression. She can't see how much this hurts him. It would make it worse for both of them!

"No, you know Jenna. She's going to find out. I'm sorry, Spencer, but we can't see each other anymore."

And she looks at him, trying to stop the tears from running down her cheeks. But she doesn't argue, she seems to understand. She always has been a rational person.

"But you love me, don't you?" she asks, biting her lower lip as if hating to have to ask. He knows she hates appearing insecure. And he knows that he can't lie to her face about this no matter how wrong it is to tell the truth right now, so he says:

"I do. A lot. And that's why I'm doing this."

She bites her lip even harder now.

"I miss you, Toby."

He looks down, he's struggling. He wants to tell her that he misses her, too, and that he never thought this would happen. But he has to get used to not being with her. And confessing that he misses her like crazy would only make things worse.

"I'm sorry, Spencer. Take care!" he whispers, meaning both with all his heart. She has to make sure she stays safe by herself now.

And with one last glance back at her, he turns around and walks away. He never would have thought that he'd have such a melodramatic conversation. He's never been one for things like that, the big romantic "I can't be with you"-speech, he found it utterly ridiculous and unnecessary, either you want to be with someone or you don't. And yet he had to do it. And he slowly starts to see that sometimes giving that melodramatic speech is really all you can do. Because it's true.

He soon reaches what he refers to as his favorite place: a nice, quiet unknown meadow in the forest of Rosewood.

The sun is flooding through the trees, making the grass seem greener, and the flowers pinker.

Toby loves being here and he's been visiting the place quite a lot lately, thinking things through and-most important of all-staying out of his house and out of his parents' and Jenna's ways.

If someone had told him a few months ago that he would have been together with Spencer Hastings and now sitting in the forest, upset about their breakup he would have laughed in their face.

And if that someone would have also told him that Spencer Hastings would be one of the biggest, and happiest, parts of his life, he would have seriously questioned their mental health.

"_Me and Spencer. I never would have thought that we would happen. That we would actually fall in love with each other._

_Her, another Alison, a member of her posse, who said some nasty things about me. Her of all girls._

_But I got to know the real her: the competitive, stubborn, strong, ambitious, beautiful Spencer who is completely different than, so much more than, I ever thought."_

He doesn't even know why, but Spencer seemed to make everything just a little bit easier, made it more bearable to go through his days with everyone thinking that he was a cruel weirdo that had set fire to a barn with his step-sister in it _and_ killed "innocent" Alison DiLaurentis.

Spencer was framed, too. And she understood. And they could talk about everything: lighthearted things as well as heavy topics.

And he loves her, as unbelievable as it is.

But he can't be with her. Because Jenna-Toby shivers in disgust at the thought of his step-sister-blackmails him. He doesn't have a choice because Spencer really can't go to jail.

That would ruin her life, her future, for something she didn't even do. No way!

Toby flashes back on Spencer's face when he broke up with her. It had been so horrible.

He had to ignore all his emotions. He had to constantly tell himself that it was the best for her even though it really didn't look like it with her crying and pleading for him to at least explain.

He had known that she deserved an explanation.

But he couldn't explain. At least now she knows. But it doesn't make it any better. Because he still can't protect her.

Now he even knows about "A", and the thought of her alone with dangerous things surrounding her drives him crazy. He wants to keep her safe. And he can't.

All he can do is keep Jenna out of her way.

Toby sits down on the grass, remembering how he used to think that he wanted to take Spencer here someday. Show her his secret hiding place nobody knows about.

Share it with her.

He honestly doesn't know how he and Spencer actually happened. He just knows that he ended up loving her.

Suddenly, his phone rings. Toby sighs as he sees the name on the display.

"Hello?" he answers his phone.

"Toby? Where are you?" his dad asks, not even bothering to say hello or ask how he's doing.

"Out." Toby says.

"Don't use that tone on me, Toby. We want you to come home right now, got it?" his dad hisses.

"Fine." Toby murmurs and his dad hangs up without saying goodbye.

Sighing, Toby gets up and walks home, taking a slight detour so everyone would think he was in town.

When he walks through the door, he sees Jenna and her mom sitting at the kitchen table.

He's just decided to sneak up into his room, when he hears his father behind him:

"Hello, Toby!"

"Hi, dad!" he answers unwillingly.

"Come and have dinner with us!" his dad commands and Toby follows him-not wanting another argument.

Jenna's face still shows her disappointment about their conversation earlier but that doesn't really bother him. At least she doesn't know about his talk with Spencer.

Dinner is awkward, as usual. Toby's dad and Jenna's mom are trying to get Toby to talk to them but even when he's directly asked, Toby just gives one word answers.

He's tired of the guarded glances his way, of the looks they exchange when they think he's not watching, of them actually believing Jenna. It's ok that her mom believes her but his dad chose to believe Jenna over him. And as much as he hates to admit it, that hurts.

He's also tired of the happy family act they are trying to pull off despite everything.

So, as soon as he has the chance, he escapes to his room.

While getting his knife, a piece of wood, a photograph of a squirrel and a mat, he thinks once again about leaving Rosewood for good.

Starting to work with his knife and the piece of wood, he tries to count how often he considered leaving the town. The town he had learned to hate so much with all its stupid people who didn't ever consider that Toby might be innocent of Alison's murder.

They just believe what's easiest for them: that he is the bad guy.

Nevertheless, the thought of staying in town didn't seem that horrible anymore lately.

Not because things with the police were any better because Spencer is being framed, but because he could see things a little more positively now. Thanks to Spencer.

But now...he really wants to leave. This town, the people, his family...

But he can't, he has to stay.

For one, he has to finish his homeschooling with a high school degree in order to get a good job later,and secondly, Spencer is in danger.

And though he can't protect her directly, he still feels a lot better being near her, knowing that he could jump in to protect her if necessary.

For a second, Toby remembers when she had first come to his room and how they talked about his wooden figures. She had liked them and that had meant a lot to him.

Nobody else cares what he-creepy criminal and weirdo Toby Cavanaugh-does in his freetime. But she does.

That day, and night are some of his happiest memories.

She told him about "A" then and he's glad that she did. He shivers at the thought that he didn't know it for such a long time, that her and her friends were alone with that dangerous person.

Toby doesn't know why exactly but he so badly wants to protect her. He's never felt that way before, this need to desperately take care of a specific person is new to him.

But then again, he doesn't meet people that often who are nice to him.

Focusing on his work, Toby spends the rest of the afternoon in his room before going to bed early.

The next morning, shortly after he wakes up, he hears Jenna giggle quietly in her room. The sound of his step-sister laughing surprises him because Jenna hadn't really done that lately.

A low chuckle, definitely a man's (Toby guesses that he was at least 25, due to the dark voice), follows.

Toby quietly jumps out of his bed and steps into the hallway. Now he understands the quiet words:

"...shouldn't do that. We're in trouble if we get caught." Jenna's voice says.

"_Of course you'll be in trouble."_ Toby thinks.

"I'm willing to take the risk." the male voice whispers. Toby knows the voice, it's somehow familiar, but he can't tell where he's heard it before. But why would a grown-up man sneak in through a window like a 15-year-old boy, afraid of getting caught? Why couldn't he be seen here?

Toby doesn't hear anything after that.

"_Either Jenna really likes that person or she's really good at acting._", Toby thinks, "_Who is that?_"

Jenna hardly ever laughs. And she wouldn't take the risk of being caught and getting in trouble unless she really cares about someone.

Toby walks back into his room, thinking. But the thought of Jenna soon leads to thoughts of Spencer, the blackmailing and all that.

Spencer. Toby sighs. He really shouldn't think about it so much. It's not good for him.

Later that day, the doorbell rings and since Jenna and his parents went to do some shopping, Toby answers it.

"Emily?" he smiles, surprised.  
>"Hey, Toby!", she smiles, too, "Can I come in?"<p>

"Sure.", he steps aside to let her in, "What is it?"

"I wanted to see how you're doing." Emily says. Of course she's talking about the blackmail thing.

Toby doesn't say anything. He doesn't know what to say.

"I mean with the whole...blackmailing?" she presses carefully.

"How do you know about that?" he asks, unable to think of anything else to say and really wanting to know. Spencer doesn't seem like the type to run to her friends right after their conversation and talk about it.

"We listened to your conversation, too, the one with Jenna." Emily says and carefully examines his face.

"Oh. I'm sorry, Emily, this isn't personal, but I don't feel like talking about it." he says truthfully, knowing that Emily won't take it personally.

"Ok.", she says, "But you can always come to me if you feel like talking."

"Thanks, Emily." Toby says and nods. Emily is a really good friend for him.

"I better go, I can see your parents coming back."

"Bye!" he says as she quickly walks off.

He goes back to his room, slowly sitting on the edge of his bed. For no special reason, he feels exhausted.

Though he didn't have to work physically today, this exhaustion still stays with him. And he doesn't like it.

Two days later, he does the same, sit on the bed, but today he feels even worse, knowing there's a weekend ahead, without school or work to distract him.

There's a knock on the door.

"What?" he asks harsher than he had intended to.

"Toby, it's me, Jenna." he hears his stepsister say. Her voice sounds quiet and somehow nice.

"What do you want?" he asks.

"Can I come in?" Jenna wants to know. Now, this is seriously weird. It's not like Jenna to actually ask that. Or to sound...nice.

Suspicious, Toby answers:

"Yes?"

Jenna comes in, her wooden stick clicking against the floor.

"What is it, Jenna?" Toby asks.

"I have to talk to you." Jenna murmurs, she seems...sad.

"Go ahead!"

***A/N: Ohhh, again! :) I can't stop myself from doing cliffhangers. ;) Well, how did you like the Toby-chapter? Do you think I got him and his thoughts right? I know there's not much happening but I wanted to give you a good view of his thoughts, his way of seeing things. And I thought maybe you'd be tired of Spencer lovesickness. :P Well, the next chapter is going to be a Spencer-chapter, like the one following that and the one after that...There are probably going to be far more Spencer-chapters in this story than Toby-chapters. Well, keep reading and please, please REVIEW! Thx for reading and reviewing.**

**Love**

**Layla***


	12. Authors note 2

Hey guys!

Im incredibly, incredibly sorry; i can't even say how much! I really let you all down and all i can tell you is that that was never my intention!

So here's why I haven't updated in...far too long:

Im really busy at the moment: I suck at school so I have to study. My dog is really sick and I have to take care of him. I have to study. I broke my arm, was in the hospital and couldn't type for three weeks after that and I'm still having the problem that it hurts when I type(yeah doesn't every "writer"(its what i wanna be some day) want to have a broken arm in a cast from the knuckles almost to your shoulder, and on top of that wake up in the hospital on the morning of your 16th(!) birthday). I'm working at three different places now and I'm kind of already struggeling between that, school, music and football.

I sort of forgot that I still needed to upload regularely.

And I had sort of a writers block, i just couldnt continue with my story...

Well, these are all reasons but they're not really excues that are good enough. I can understand if you are pissed at me, understand that you don't want to read my story because it has been so long and again, im soo freaking sorry! Please forgive me guys, I promise something like this will never happen again!

Please continue to read my story, guys, it would mean so much to me!

Love

Layla


	13. Chapter 11

**Hey guys! I'm soo terribly, terribly sorry it's taking me so long to update...Not only once but all the time now. I'm just so busy right now,...I know that's a bad excuse but it's true and I hope you'll keep reading anyway. This chapter isn't that long and there's no real action in it but I thought I needed to clarify a few things about Spencer, her character and her thoughts. So I hope you enjoy! **

**BTW, as always a special thanks to my amazing beta JacksonMiracle!**

Chapter 11: Taking a break

Three days after overhearing Toby's conversation with Jenna and talking to him for the first time since the breakup, Spencer is standing in the doorframe of her house with her eyes fixed a black suitcase in front of her.

"Have you got everything?", she hears her mother call from the kitchen. Spencer mentally checks what she packed and what she didn't pack, then calls back "Yes!"

She has clothes for the weekend, a few books, her homework, her notebook, and her swimming suit.

What she didn't pack is her cell phone. Having sent her friends texts that she isn't going to have her phone with her for the weekend trip she's going to take with her parents, she has switched it off.

She doesn't feel entirely comfortable with that, but she knows she has to do it. She has to take a break, go away, find some time to breathe. And think.

Her phone is on her bedside table and it's going to stay there until she gets back home on Sunday night.

She still has worries, about "A", of course, and whether he or she will do something like the radio greetings again, but she knows that if she doesn't let everything go for a few days, she'll seriously go crazy. The kind of crazy people already think that she is.

Emily, Hanna and Aria have sent their ok's back and that they know that they shouldn't try to contact her over the weekend. Being Spencer, she does have an emergency plan with the girls for worst-case-scenarios.

If there would be something really horrible, they'd be able to reach her over her dad's phone.

Hoping desperately that isn't going to happen, Spencer gets into the car after putting her suitcase into the trunk. She thinks it's kind of surprising that her parents actually agreed to do this, since they have to work and usually use that as an excuse to not take weekend-trips.

"_They probably just want me to get away so I don't do anything "stupid" that'll make me look more suspicious to the neighbors. Like meeting Toby. Well, they don't need to worry about that anymore. Jenna made sure I won't do that again."_

She still hates Jenna for taking her safe place away from her. But she can't confront her with this because it would only make matters worse for her. And for Toby.

Toby. At the thought of him, Spencer sighs.

She doesn't know which is worse: Thinking that he didn't love her anymore or knowing that he loves her but not being able to be with him.

Before Allie had disappeared, Spencer never would have thought that her life would be as complicated as it is now, and all before her 18th birthday.

The only problems she had back then were her parents(and always being in Melissa's shadow), school and maybe sometimes her friendship with Allie. But now...

Again she wonders what and how Toby's doing. Can he deal with this better than she can? Is it as hard for him as it is for her?

"_I should stop thinking about this, it won't get me anywhere. What I should do is just take a break and breathe."_

Melissa isn't coming with them, and though Spencer feels bad about it, she can't helpfeeling a little relieved as well. When her parents finally get in the car, they drive off quickly, but it's quiet and a little awkward as they ride.

"Mom, dad? I just wanted to thank you for actually taking me to the country house. I think it'll really do me good." she finally says.

"No problem, honey. You should try and get you mind off things. The family has been going through a lot." her mom says, smiling at her in the rearview mirror.

Spencer remains quiet after that.

They have been going through a lot with the whole town thinking their daughter was crazy and maybe even the killer of Alison DiLaurentis. Not to mention, dating the town's creep Toby Cavanaugh.

Spencer rolls her eyes because now she's thinking about Toby again. And because her parents are just...predictable when it comes to things like this. The only problem they had was Ian and they didn't realize that until it was too late.

But no one in her family talks about it. Ian, Allie or the fact that Spencer was telling the truth about Ian. Though they still don't believe the story Spencer told the newspaper about Ian trying to kill her.

Spencer manages to drift to sleep after some time, leaning against the window and looking out at the passing trees.

Spencer wakes up when the car engine stops. They have finally arrived!

It's already getting dark outside. Spencer gets out of the car, grabs her suitcase and quickly walks into the house she is so familiar with. She'd been coming there quite often, especially when she was younger.

There's a king sized bed with white sheets and silk falling down in a canopy, framing it, and lace at the top, looking as if it is glued to the ceiling.

Spencer remembers how she used to love this bed just because of the way it had made her, and still makes her, feel like a princess and...innocent.

One wouldn't believe how peaceful and great you can sleep in that bed, seeing the sky outside the big, south-facing window if you just push the curtains aside a few inches.

The rest of the furniture is honey-colored, and looks soft and shiny. A chest of drawers standing opposite the bed, a shelf holding a huge amount of books, a desk right under the window and a matching, comfortable chair with white seat upholstery seem to complete the princess like feel to the room.

On the desk is a dark blue photo frame that holds a picture of a laughing family. A happy family.

"The Hastings" it says in ornamental letters underneath the photograph. Spencer remembers it was taken three years ago when everything was still normal.

There's a white door next to the chest of drawers leading to the bathroom. The curtains are a soft shade of purple and seem to color the whole room. There are matching flowers drawn onto the wall on either side of the door.

All over the wall to the left of the bed are pictures of Spencer and her family on holiday, a few postcards they got, glittery paper to make it look nicer, handwritten notes and dates and a few other things.

Spencer loves looking at it all, but she enjoys the view she has from the window the best. Looking at the perfect, dream-away beach with its almost white sand and the blue sea could erase a thousand bad memories. Especially when it's getting dark and the weather is nice as it is now.

So Spencer does what she always doesas soonas she has carried her suitcase to her room, and runs into the water straight away.

She changes into her bikini, hurrying, feeling the excitement she always feels before her first bath in the ocean.

Then she runs out, over the sand and into the sea, ignoring the shiver the cold water gives her. The sea seems to sparkle as the water drops created by her running flow past her.

Spencer stays in the water for about twenty minutes, as usual forgetting her worries and the issues she has to deal with in the real world.

When Spencer gets out of the water and hugs the huge towel around her, and looks at the moon, a thought comes to her mind, not really wanted and not helping her good mood.

"_I wish I could share this with Toby!"_

Sighing, Spencer walks back into the house, watching her mom sit on the couch next to the chimney, a beautiful fire beside her, and beginning to read her favorite book in the light of the fire as she passes by.

This place seems to have the same magical spell on all of the Hastings women.

Her mom doesn't ever read for joy at home.

When Spencer gets back from the dinner her mom had cooked it(also a very unusual occurrence, she lies on the bed, content for the first time in weeks because here she can forget all about her problems. Here she is well fed and a little sleepy despite her nap in the car, but that was all.

It takes her only a few minutes to fall asleep, wrapped in the snowy white, silky cover and looking out at the stars blinking in the sky.

The next morning, Spencer wakes at quarter past seven, well rested and ready to use the day for studying. And thinking.

She knows that she has to think her problems through as much as she doesn't want to. But only after breakfast.

Coming back to her room after having breakfast on her own, since her parents are still sleeping, Spencer sits on the chair and looks out the window, ready to think about her problems with a glass of orange juice by her side.

Spencer always was the kind of person to step right into action as soon as she comes to a conclusion that she's absolutely sure about.

She hates not knowing anything, having to guess about everything.

That's probably why she immediately tries to do something about a problemas soon as she finds out about it.

At least having something to do is better than guessing and sitting around like this. While she knows "A" is out there somewhere, possibly thinking of something to do to ruin their lives further, at least she would be coming up with solutions.

"A". It's the main issue right now and they haven't come one step closer to finding out who that person is and why he or she is doing what he or she does.

"A" is pretty much the source of all of Spencer's problems. The fight she had with her friends, that is luckily sorted out now, her trouble with her parents, Melissa's pain of having to deal with the fact that her loved husband is dead and was a murderer, the whole town thinking she is crazy and her being a person of interest in Allie's murder.

But not her breakup with Toby, that was all Jenna. Though maybe, if it hadn't been for "A", she wouldn't have gotten to know him like this.

Her urge to do something, to find something out, was what got her to set foot on his porch in the first place. That and Emily who had tried to convince her that Toby wasn't who she thought he was.

Thinking about it, Spencer realizes that "A" is mostly responsible for her getting together with Toby and falling in love with him.

But if there's one thing she knows about "A", it's that what he or she gives, he or she can always and easily take away. But not even "A" can change the way she feels about Toby even if he or she could separate them, that is if they weren't already over.

Spencer sighs. Who could possibly be "A"?

She still has her eyes set on Jason but she's not sure about it. What motive would he have? Plus, if "A" really killed Allie that'd bepretty though. He was her brother after all.

She doesn't know really. Even while looking at her list that she brought, she doesn't get any good ideas. And she always thought her intelligence was something she could be proud of.

Staring out of the window for another half an hour and not coming up with anything, Spencer finally decides to do some studying, since that'd be far easier. And more beneficial. At least she'd be doing something.

So she spends four hours studying and doing her homework, before meeting her parents for some sort of brunch in the kitchen.

After that, she swims for a bit in the ocean, thinking back on her conversation with Toby in the woods where they had asked each other questions about one another.

"So, where's your favorite place to be?" Spencer asked Toby.

"I don't know. But it's definitely not Rosewood. Even though this is getting better now..." he winked.

The butterflies in her stomach fluttered like crazy as she smiled up at him.

"What about you?" he asked.

"I've seen a couple of great places. But one of my most favorite places to be is still our country house."she said, "Maybe you'll get to see it some time."

He stopped, pulled her close and kissed her.

"Where did that come from?" she asked breathlessly as she pulled away.

"I don't know, I was just happy to be here. With you." he replied, took her hand again and they continued walking and asking each other different questions.

Spencer smiles at the memory. She learned a lot of things about him that day.

That nightwhen she has dinner with her parents, she can feel her mom's gaze resting on her.

She's sure that her mother knows that she has problems besides the obvious ones but, her mother was never the type to pressure her on things like that. She trusts her to either deal with it herself or come to her on her own if she can't.

Spencer's grateful for that.

And though it's a quiet dinner, it doesn't feel awkward.

As Spencer goes to bed that night thinking about her whole situation she can't help but smile.

The next morning, she packs her things, silently says her goodbyes to the house and then leaves with her parents.

As she did on the way there, she falls asleep on the backseat of the car wondering if something important happened while she was gone. Something involving "A".

That afternoon, when she enters her room again, the first thing she does is grab her phone and wait impatiently for it to switch itself on.

"1 unread message" it says.

With her heart pounding heavily in her chest, Spencer presses "read".

"**I thought you knew you can't run from your lies. Or me. Kisses -A**"

Spencer has no idea what it is supposed to mean except for the obvious threat. She sighs.

Suddenly there's a knock on the window. She looks up, closes her eyes because she thinks she's dreaming, but when she reopens them, Toby is still there, standing in front of her sliding door, waiting for her to open it.

***Yep, again with the cliffhanger! I know this chapter is rather short(I couldn't wait for the next thing that I know is about to happen) and has no action in it and I'm sorry for that. But as I said, sometimes we need to take time to get to know the characters better...I also know that there hasn't been much real Toby/Spencer-action in ages. And I'm sorry for that, too! I miss it and I think so do you. But I have good news for you: There's going to be so much in the next few chapters, ok? I'm sorry guys and thank you so much for sticking with me till then anyway! So please REVIEW AND TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK! It would mean so much to me! Ok, so keep reading!**

**Love**

**XO **

**Layla***


	14. Authors note 3

**! I know I'm the most horrible person on this planet for abandoning you for this long. I'm so terribly, terribly sorry and I'm well aware that you guys really want to kill me right now!**

**Just know that I really am truly sorry but there was a lot going on in my life. Then I thought that I had updated and realized just now that I actually hadn't! I'm so sorry, again! I hope you guys didn't all forget about this story.**

**I just reread your reviews on my other chapters and I almost cried out of happiness and joy. I promised myself that I was going to never do something like this again. And I'm really going to try! I will upload the next chapter today so I won't have gotten your hopes up with this authors note for nothing!**

**I hope that I didn't lose any of you and I hope you'll continue reading and reviewing. I started writing a new story, it isn't really a fanfic but one of the main characters is a famous person we all know. **

**I just wanted to know if you guys know where I could post something like that. And if I did, if you wanted to read it. But just to warn you, it would take at least another year for me to finally have it finished, edited, translated and done because right now, it's still in german. I'll translate it myself but only once it's done. **

**So I really wanted your opinion, because it matters to me. What do you think?**

**And please know, that I really do feel really bad about all of this!**

**I love you, my dear readers! **

**Layla**


	15. Chapter 12

Chapter 12: Lucky she fell in love

Spencer just stares at Toby. He's wearing jeans and a black shirt and he smiles. Smiles his warm, toby-ish smile that she has missed like crazy since they broke up.  
>"What is he doing here?" she thinks, slowly walking towards the door. She hasn't seen him since the conversation they've had after she had found out about Jenna's blackmailing.<br>Carefully composing her face, she slides the door open for him to come inside if he wants to.  
>He does and Spencer feels a certain warmth warm her from her core and spreading through her entire body. A small part of the rational side of her brain scolds her for that because it know this can't be could. It can't be healthy to be so dependent on one person. But the emotional part of her brain blocks that out almost immidiatly. For now, at least.<br>"What are you doing here, Toby?" she asks, wondering why he came over to her house.  
>Toby seems happy, somehow. His face is relaxed and he looks like a different person, like he's totally changed since the last time that she talked to them. And as Spencer wonders why that is, he bursts out:<br>"Jenna doesn't blackmail me anymore! We can be together again!"  
>Spencer stares at him, blinking and not really getting what he's saying. It's nothing like Toby to act this enthusiastic and she's almost sure she heard him wrong.<br>When it finally sinks in and she's about to jump into his arms, the rational part of her comes through and she asks:  
>"Really? This is not a trap?"<br>Toby seems to have expected this and he smiles slightly. He probably just knows her too well…  
>"No, it's real. Me and Jenna, we had a long talk about it." he explains patiently.<br>Spencer's not ready to believe it just yet. She clearly doesn't want to get her hopes up just to be disappointed again.  
>"She says that she feels horrible about what she did and that she'll be letting me alone from now on." Toby says, sounding very much as if he has had difficulties believing Jenna's sudden change of opinion, too, "But, honestly I think she just realized that she's in love with someone else. And that she doesn't love me any..."<br>He's interrupted by Spencer throwing her arms around his neck and hugging him so fiercly that she knocks him off balance for a few steps.  
>She is so happy! Of course, there is still doubt, mainly from her rational side but for once she really couldn't care less!<br>Though she doesn't really understand Jenna's change, she doesn't think she has to. The main thing is that she can be with Toby again. And it's been long since she's been so happy!  
>Only hugging him like this and feeling his arms around her back and his lips on her head, only being able to touch him again, makes her want to cheer with joy.<br>Finally, she leans back and presses her lips to his. They kiss, both putting all the passion they have into that kiss. All the desire they felt while they had been apart.  
>When they breathlessly pull away, Spencer feels a huge smile spread across her face.<br>He smiles down at her. His hair is tousled from her passionate embrace and she reaches up to brush it out of his face.  
>"I missed you.", she admits, "Like crazy." Even though now it is easy compared to how it used to be, confessing her feelings like that still is still a little strange to Spencer. She has been used to not show too many emotions all her life because that makes her vulnerable. But with Toby, she feels it only makes her stronger.<br>"Did you? Even though I did this to you?" Toby asks. Pain shows in his face as he seems to think about the horrible day he broke up with her.  
>Spencer sees that he's blaming himself for her being hurt and she knows she can't let that happen.<br>"It wasn't your fault, Toby. Not at all. There was nothing you could do. Opposite, what you did was very selfless. Hurting yourself to protect me and my friends." She argues, trying to make him see her point so he's not guilty anymore.  
>"It was the least I could do. I still wish you didn't have to go through all this since you already have enough to worry about." he says.<br>He's so sweet. And caring. He always wants to protect her.  
>"It's all easier with you by my side. And that's where you are now, isn't it?" she smiles. She's not saying that to please him. She's saying it because it's true.<br>He nods.  
>"And I won't go anywhere any time soon." he smiles and they kiss again.<br>As usual it makes her forget about everything else. His arms around her make her feel so safe.  
>Eventually, she pulls away.<br>"Toby, my parents are still in the house." she giggles slightly, still having her arms wound around his neck.  
>"I know. I don't want to but I probably should go. Meet me tomorrow at seven at the hotel?"<br>"Ok." she smiles, kisses him passionately one last time and walks him to the slide door; she can't wait for tomorrow night!  
>"Goodnight, Spencer! Sleep well!" he says, hugs her tightly and turns to walk away.<br>"I'm so happy about us being together again!"  
>"Me, too. Goodnight, Toby!"<br>Watching him walk of, Spencer still feels the smile plastered on her face and when she looks at her imagine in the mirror she has to grin even more. She has Toby back!  
>Her safe place to land, her rock. The boy she loves.<br>All her problems seem smaller now, with him at her side.  
>"How's that even possible? That he has that kind of effect on me?", she thinks but the smile doesn't leave her face, it lights up her eyes.<br>That night, when Spencer smilingly lies down in bed, she wonders what kind of surprise Toby would have in the hotel room.  
>She doesn't like surprises but in this case...<br>Wondering what he might have actually chosen to do for her, Spencer falls asleep, still having a slight smile on her face.  
>The next morning when Spencer gets to school, she can see the girls stand at her locker, smiling at her as she approaches.<br>Emily has a broad grin on her face as she observes Spencer's good mood and smiles at the others knowingly.  
>"So, he already told you, didn't he?" Emily asks as Spencer has said her hello and opens her locker.<br>Looking over her shoulder she jokes:  
>"I have no idea what you're talking about."<br>"Come on, Spence! I didn't know you're that bad of an actress! It's freaking all over your face." Hanna laughs and hugs her friend tightly. Emily and Aria join the hug, laughing.  
>"Since when do you know?" Spencer asks Emily. She's not really surprised that Emily knows since she and Toby are good friends.<br>"Saturday." Emily says.  
>Spencer frowns. He already knew on saturday but he didn't talk to her about it?<br>"He wanted to make sure it wasn't a trap." Emily explains as she can easily read Spencer's expression.  
>Spencer nods. She would have probably done the same. And plus, he wouldn't have reached her anyway if he tried since she was at the country house without her phone or Internet-connection.<br>She slams her locker shut, carrying her books in one arm and her bag in the other.  
>"Bye, girls! I'll see you later!" she smiles broadly, just happy to have Toby again. She can't really think of anything else.<br>She doesn't see the girls smile happily as she leaves, enjoying their usually quite strict and rational friend so happy and in love.  
>The school day passes in a blur for Spencer but she manages to pay attention in class despite of wanting to think about tonight in the hotel room, and she seems to manage the small talk with her friends quite well.<br>When she arrives home after school, she suddenly knows that she still has to think of some cover for tonight.  
>She thinks she should probably ask Aria since she lives closest to the hotel-for emergencies. But Aria's parents will probably be home, won't they?<br>When Spencer enters her house, she sees a sheet of paper on the table. Frowning, she walks over and looks at it.  
>"Spencer,<br>we're out for a business dinner tonight. We'll stay away over night and we'll be going to work directly tomorrow. Money for food is there, if you want to, you can stay with one of your friends, just tell us with whom.  
>Love<br>Mum and Dad"  
>Spencer smiles. The universe seems to like her today. Knowing that Hanna's mum isn't home tonight, she calls her friend to ask her to cover for her since her parents aren't going to come over to check on her anyway.<br>Despite Hanna's special comments on her spending the evening alone at the hotel with Toby, it works out great. Hanna can't help but throw in tons of naughty comments that make Spencer laugh.  
>As soon as she gets off the phone with Hanna, Spencer goes to her room and does her homework. She has to get her schoolwork done before she leaves. She doesn't know when she's going to come back.<br>"And if." Hanna had said on the phone when Spencer had told her that. That was so Hanna!  
>That night at half past six, Spencer looks at herself in the mirror-as she has for almost the whole rest of the afternoon. Totally not being herself. She can't believe she just spent two hours trying to get ready.<br>She hates the fact that she's changed outfits at least five times now; that she's so indecisive. She also hates that she's so insecure, that she doesn't know what is going to happen at the hotel.  
>Usually, when a guy invites his girlfriend to a hotel room at night, you'd know what to think, wouldn't you?<br>But in this case? In this very situation?  
>Toby isn't that kind of guy, right? But then again...<br>"Grr!" she growls. This is so confusing! And she hates being so insecure and not in control. It's not who she is or who she wants t be.  
>She looks at herself again, halfway happy with her choice of clothes. She's decided to go with a light purple, flowing skirt and a dark blue neckholder top.<br>She has also chosen to let her freshly washed hair fall over her shoulders openly and to keep her make-up light.  
>She doesn't even know why she's doing all of this since Toby has already seen her in much too big jogging clothes, with traces of make-up running all over her face. Or losing her composure with red, swollen eyes…And he has still always stayed with her and loves her despite, or because of, everything.<br>But she wants to look nice for him, especially today.  
>After having put on some perfume and having double-checked the contents of her black bag, she leaves with a glance at her cell for the time.<br>When Spencer's car stops in front of the familiar building, she stays in the car for a moment, smilingly remembering the first time she was here with him.  
>His truck is nowhere to be seen, which makes Spencer wonder for a second. Where is he?<br>But then she sees his motorcycle near the entrance. She smiles.  
>Finally, she steps out of her car, now feeling very excited. What are his plans for tonight?<br>Taking a deep breath, Spencer steps into the lobby and is about to ask the receptionist where he is, when a hand is placed over her eyes.  
>"Hi!" she smiles, trying to turn around and kiss him.<br>"I don't think so." she can hear him laugh as he starts guiding her.  
>"What are you doing?" she laughs, too.<br>"Leading you to the room." he says and she can hear the grin in his voice, imagining the dimple that shows on his chin right now.  
>He guides her for some time until finally, he stops.<br>She can feel him reaching past her and she hears a door open.  
>"Ok, careful now! Come on inside!" he says quietly. Then he takes his hand away from her eyes and she opens them.<br>She immidiatly recognizes the room from her last visit with him but it has changed a bit.  
>There are curtains on the windows that she hasn't seen last time and they are drawn. And there are a few candles distributed in the room.<br>To her surprise, there's a scrabbleboard on the bed. That makes her laugh as she turns around to kiss him.  
>"Thank you!" she mutters as he closes the door. She takes a closer look at him now. He's wearing a black shirt and dark jeans and he looks good!<br>He smiles, then walks further into the room, dragging her behind him towards the bed and the scrabbleboard.  
>"Ready to lose again?" he asks as he sits next to the board, a broad grin on his face.<br>Spencer snorts.  
>"That was an exeption, I wasn't in perfect condition! Something like that will never happen again! I'm so going to take you down, Toby!" she threatens.<br>"I'm already shaking with fear." he rolls his eyes.  
>Spencer playfully glares at him.<br>"You better be!"  
>Two heated hours later, as Spencer bends over the board completely focused, she realizes that she's probably going to lose. <strong>(Hey guys! I don't play scrabble so I have no idea how long one game takes, just forgive me if I'm wrong! And I didn't know who should win either. :P)<strong>**  
><strong>Toby realizes it, too because he's grinning smugly.  
>"What happend to you taking me down?" he teases.<br>Spencer just grits her teeth, not letting him break her focus.  
>"What should I do now? I have to win this time, he already won last time. That's not going to happen again!" she thinks.<br>Suddenly, she spots something. She quickly puts the word down, grins smugly at him and leans back on the bed.  
>"I told you I'd kick your ass!" she grins as he realizes that he can't beat her anymore and cleans up the board in one swift move.<br>"Kicking one's ass usually means winning by far. And this one was really close." he laughs as he puts the board on the floor and lies down next to her.  
>"Yeah. In your dreams!" she snorts.<br>"Do I have to remind you who beat you by far last time? Now that is kicking one's ass!"  
>"Pure luck." she grins. He rolls over and pins her hands to her sides.<br>"Excuse me?" he mock-threatens.  
>"I'm just saying. I wasn't in a good condition last time so that doesn't really count." she smirks.<br>He takes her hands in one of his and starts tickling her.  
>"Could you say that again?" he smirks.<br>Spencer tries hard not to laugh but his fingers on her ribs make that impossible. She squeals and tries to break free but she has no chance against him.  
>"Toby, stop!" she calls out, having difficulties to breathe and tears of laughter running down her face.<br>"Not until you say that you won with luck and that I'm actually better at that game than you are." he grins while dodging one of her kicking feet.  
>"No...w...wa...way!" Spencer coakes out. She's not going to give in to this whatsoever.<br>"Something else I could do to make you stop?" she manages to ask.  
>"Mhm." he pretends to think before releasing her, leaning over and softly pressing his lips to hers.<br>Spencer wraps her arms around him, feeling the muscles in his back and shoulders.  
>They deepen the kiss and Spencer feels her heart beat faster:<br>"Where is this leading?"  
>The kiss grows more and more passionate, she knots her fingers in his hair and she can feel his running over her back, getting to her hips and under her shirt.<p>

***Hey guys! It's not that of a cliffhanger this time, is it? Well, do you want them to get intimate or not? Give me your reviews, please! I'm sorry but I have to ask you something else: Do you think this one is out of character for Toby? I just wanted him to be without worries and funny but do you think that's like Toby or not? Let me know! I just had to bring scrabble into this, it's a part of them! :) Well, please REVIEW! Keep reading and reviewing and thanks for everyone who did that so far! Love****  
><strong>**XO****  
><strong>**Layla****  
><strong>**P.S.: And I also wanted to tell the people that review constantly: i love you all and you're making my days. You know who I mean ;) And by the way, if you want to, you could check out "dangerous loves". I have a few more oneshots written out if you guys review that story, too!***

Hey guys! For this one I just quickly wanted to say thank you for arubagirl0926 for giving me advices on the story. She says that i should be more descricive when it comes to feelings and that's what i tried. Mainly in the rocking chair bit. What do you think of it? Love Layla


	16. Chapter 13

Chapter 13-Was it always that wonderful?

Spencer's heart is racing in her chest as the kiss gets even more passionate than it already is.

She tries to think clearly, which isn't all that easy given the situation. Actually, it's impossible. So there's really only one question that she has to answer: Does she want this?

She can feel one of Toby's hands move on to the back of her head, his fingers softly playing with her hair and she can feel the butterflies in her stomach go crazy as they keep on kissing, both running out of air.

Her hands make their way down his back almost automatically, feeling the muscles clench and unchlench. She reaches the hem of his t-shirt and she can feel his warmth underneath as the shirt rides up with his movement.

The kiss is getting more and more intense and her heart is racing, accompanied by her ragged, shallow, fast breathing.

His left hand rests on her waist, while the other one slowly keeps sliding down the curve of her hip and leg. In response to that movement, Spencer hooks her leg around Toby's hip, pulling him closer to her in the process.

Now his chest is almost touching hers.

Raging hormones, deep passion; Spencer feels slightly overwhelmed by all of these feelings suddenly exploding inside her. Oh wow...

Then, suddenly and very aprupt, Toby pulls away with a big grin on his face and sits back up after removing Spencers leg from around him.

Spencer looks at him and even though she can't believe it, she actually feels disappointed.

"Maybe we should stop here." At least his voice sounds strained and slightly disappointed, too and his breathing is just as quick and shallow as hers.

Finally, now that she's put some distance between him and his hands and his lips, the rational part of her brain seems to come back to life. What was she thinking anyway?

Thank heavens that Toby was being responsible.

"Maybe," she replies, her heart still racing but about to calm down. Sitting back up, she shortly but very sweetly pecks him on the lips and smiles, making a plan to think about what just almost happened later, when she's alone and not being distracted by Toby's amused eyes on her.

"Want to come outside with me?" he asks suddenly.

She smiles again and they both get up and walk outside hand in hand, inseperable even for that short walk. Spencer wants to feel him close. Feel the safety and warmth he provides ans that she's been missing for far too long.

Deep inside, she's worried because she depends on him so much, but today, nothing can destroy her happines. Her bliss. Her precious wonderful time she spends without worrying and with Toby. They need that.

When they step outside, a breath of cool air brushes past Spencer and makes her shiver. She didn't realize before that it's that cold.

Toby, of course noting it immediatly, puts his arm around her, making her feel warmer instantly. She smiles up at him thankfully. His quiet understanding means so much to her.

He hands her a fleece cover before sitting down on a comfortable looking rocking chair while Spencer wraps the cover around her slim body to warm herself up.

He gestures for her to sit on his lap and she does, curling up and placing her feet next to his leg while resting her head against his neck, still being wrapped in the fleece.

He puts his arms around her, he doesn't seem to be cold. Nor does he seem uncomfortable in any kind of way. He looks like he's just happy to be able to hold her like this again.

And maybe he is.

"Where were you this weekend?", he finally asks.

"Remember the country house I told you about? I went there with my parents, I just had to get away from everything."

"I understand that. And I know that feeling, trust me!", he says after pressing his lips into her hair.

"Of course he does!", she thinks, "Probably more than anyone else."

That thought brings up a question she's been meaning to ask him for ages but never actually did. Maybe because she's been a little afraid of what the answer might be.

"Toby, can I ask you a question?", she asks and slightly turns her head to look into his sparkling blue eyes. As they seem to smile at her, she can feel the warm, fuzzy feeling in her stomach again that only adds to her comfort. She feels completely happy and safe right now.

He nods.

"Why didn't you ever run away from Rosewood? I mean, don't get me wrong, I glad you didn't! But I'm sure if I were you I wouldn't be here anymore," she explains.

"I'm so glad that he didn't leave!", she thinks and snuggles deeper into his chest.

Toby's POV

Toby can feel Spencer snuggling deeper into his arms and he smiles at that as she looks up to him with big, brown eyes, waiting for an answer to her question.

He looks up, thinking. Right now, with Spencer safely in his arms, he knows that he doesn't want to leave Rosewood. But he also remembers that there were times when he did.

"I've thought about it so many times," he says, looking back down at her and once again being struck by the thought that he loves her so much. And that she loves him back.

"Why didn't you?", Spencer asks. He knows that she's trying to understand it. To understand him when it comes to this. And he smiles because that is so Spencer.

So he tries to explain:

"You know, every time I thought that I couldn't bear it anymore, something or someone-", here he smiles slightly at her, "-reminded me that maybe there were good sides to this town, too.

But mainly, every time I thought about leaving-and trust me, I did that so many times-I knew that it would look like I was guilty. And I wanted to show this town that I'm not.

And I "met" you, more like: got to know you better. And it's getting easier, as cheesy as that might sound. I have another reason to stay here. For you. And for making sure you're safe."

He knows that this sounds very cheesy. But he just had to say it. And by Spencer's beautiful, happy smile he can tell that he was right to say it. It's just the truth, not something to make her love him more.

(Guys, I'm sorry that was a little unexptected! :) I was writing it, I didn't see this coming but then I thought: "That'd be even better from Toby's POV". It's very, very cheesy, I've got to admit. I guess, sometimes I'm a romantic. Tell me if you liked it!)

Spencer's POV

That was probably one of the longest speeches she's ever heard him give. And it helps her understand him.

"Thanks.", she whispers and buries her head in his chest again.

She knows that he knows what she means. They understand each other, don't need too many words. It has always been like that between them. And Spencer knows that she loves him, with all her heart.

And that he loves her, too. It's like she can feel it. Even if he didn't say it, she'd still know that he did. It's this warm, beautiful and undescribable feeling inside of her that's she'd never want to miss again.

Even though it might sound very cliché, she still thinks that if she could, she would stop time right now. Pushing aside all of her rational thoughts for that one.

Just being here, cuddled up in Toby's arms she feels happy and safe and carefree.

She knows that some people might say that they're too young for love but Spencer knows that they're not. Because what they feel for each other is love, a lot of it, actually.

If she's being honest, she's had doubts about love at young age, too. She had thought that a lot of people-especially young people-used the word "love" quite fast. Too fast, maybe.

She'd thought that love grew with getting to know each other. And that maybe you had to know who you are before being able to really love someone else for who he or she was.

But she got to discover that love has nothing to do with age. You just meet people you'll grow to love.

It's not normal for her to trust other people 100%, she's not used to depending on other people. But with Toby, she just got into it and she likes it. She knows she can trust him. He won't ever hurt her.

"So, can I ask you something, too?", he asks, interrupting her thoughts.

"Anything.", she mumbles, for a moment closing her eyes and enjoying the feeling that sitting here like this with him causes.

"Why are you fighting with your sister so often?", he asks. This definately takes her by surprise, for he actually is one of the first people to notice the difficulties-despite the obvious ones-she has with Melissa.

Sure, to anyone the Hastings might have seemed(up until a few weeks ago) like the perfect family. Successful parents, and bright, commited and intelligent daughters. No real, big fights, no serious teenage rebellion. A lot of love.

On the outside, it might look perfect. But it's not, not really.

"Ever since I was little, my parents raised me to be ambitious and to set my stakes high. To never be happy being second. To always want to be the best. To always do the best. With everything.

And Melissa was being a good example. My parents always told me to look at Melissa. How Melissa had won that contest. And was best in her year. And had done that...

I think being me, ambitious and a little competitive"-she smiles as he grins broadly at that understatement-"I wanted to be better than my sister.

Which is what my parents wanted, of course. For me to always give my best, to try as hard as I could.

And so there always was this rivalery between us, just underneath the surface. Who was better? Who archieved more?

And you know, it got worse and worse. So Melissa and I, we always wanted to win. To beat the other."

Spencer stops for a second. What she tells him, she has known for a long time but now that she says it out loud it feels so real. And true.

"And it's grown from healthy competition to bad rivalery.", Spencer finishes, taking a deep breath before continuing: "And it all got worse as this...thing with Wren happened."

Spencer looks back down. She's not sure if she wants him to know about that. She's not exactly proud of her actions back then and she knows that what she did was wrong.

And though she hopes that he won't judge, she's not sure she wants him to know about this. She's ashamed of what she did.

Toby seems to sense that she doesn't want to say anything more about the matter and he lets it go. It doesn't make the situation any less beautiful than it was before, though.

"I like being here like this. With you." she tells him after some time. She lifts her head up to look at him. His eyes sparkle, he's smiling. And he bends down to kiss her. Softly and beautifully...

The kiss seems to last for ages when probably it only lasts for two minutes at the most.

When they pull away and Spencer leans her head against his neck again, she can hear her phone beep in the room behind them.

"It might be important.", she mumbles as she reluctantly gets up from his lap-when she'd so much rather just stay there as long as possible.

It's a text message and Spencer's heart skips a beat when she sees it's from "unknown".

Slightly starting to tremble, she presses "view".

"Young love. You should enjoy it while you can. Meaning, while I let you. -A"

Spencer sits on the bed, her breathing uneven and her heartbeat double speed than usual.

What does that mean? Does A have a plan to take Toby away from her? Is this a threat? How does A know?

"Spencer? What is it?" Toby asks as he appears in the balcony door and sees her sitting on the edge of the bed, staring at her phone with wide eyes and her face a worrying shade of white.

Spencer just keeps glaring at her phone and a sudden shiver of fear runs through her. Is A watching her and Toby right now?

Suddenly, Spencer jumps up, runs past Toby to the balcony and looks for someone who could be watching them...but nobody's in sight.

"Spencer? What is going on?"

Toby stands behind her and carefully wraps his arms around her waist from behind.

Spencer, still scanning her surroundings, doesn't answer. Only when he asks again, this time slightly more worried:

"Spencer?"

She holds up her phone for him to read the message. And instantly regrets it because his blue eyes narrow and he frowns.

"What is that supposed to mean?" he asks, his voice anxious and slightly nervous.

"I think it means I have to find out who A is. ASAP." Spencer says, sounding less frightend than she actually is.

What will happen if the unlikely event of her ever finding out will occur? What will A do to her?

Slowly starting to shake, she remembers how A had tried to kill Hanna when he or she had thought Hanna had undcovered the secret.

That thought sends a shiver down her spine.

"It's ok, Spencer, shhh!" Toby murmurs reassuringly as he tightends his grip and presses his face into her dark curls, feeling her fear even though she doesn't say anything.

"It's not ok, Toby, and you know that. We can't keep on letting A controll our lives. We have to do something!" she insists, desperately trying to shake of the fear to be able to think rationally.

Toby's arm tense around her.

"I won't let you do anything stupid. It's too dangerous." he says, and Spencer knows she's never once heard him so determined.

Nevertheless, she knows that they have to do something. It has been going on far too long and they have to find and stop A.

And she has to make Toby see that even though she knows he is only trying to protect them.

"I know you only want to protect us and I love that but A is dangerous, possibly even more to you than to us, because if he or she thinks you're too involved or getting in the way,..."

She breaks of, not wanting to finish the thought or the sentence. She remembers talking to her friends about the danger they might be putting Toby in by telling him about A.

"Besides, you can't be around me 24/7, anyway." she adds.

"I'd love to be, though." he says and she's glad to hear a tiny bit of insecurity in his voice about his plan to stay with her all the time.

Even though she knows this isn't really the time to joke, she still can't resist:

"You'd get really annoyed of me pretty fast."

"I'd never get annoyed.", he says and when she looks at him, quite surprised, she sees his loving smile turn into a broad, teasing grin as he adds:

"How could I ever get annoyed by you, being so stubborn, competitive..."

"Enough, thanks very much!", Spencer interrupts and laughs timidly. He grins and then rests his chin on her head.

"What are we going to do?", Spencer thinks, "Of course, we have to do something.

But A has always been cleverer than us, faster...has been playing us. How can we get to him or her?

What could we possible do?

Technically, A must be a few people. Or how come they know everything and seem to be everywhere at once?"

She knows that Toby really can't get involved in this. There's no way! It'd be far too dangerous for him. The question is, though:

How can she stop him from putting himself in danger?

**A/N: So, are you guys happy? No cliffhanger this time, but a lot of Spencer and Toby cuteness! Even though, as I've said before, it's a little cheesy...I promise, that's not going to happen too often, unless you want it to (which I'll only know if you tell me by reviewing :) Talk about giving a hint! :P)! But I just felt like they had to be very romantic after being apart and all that. SO R&R please!**

**Layla**

**P.s.: One of my readers, hello and thanks again there ;), has been so kind and explained to me whats going on in the tv show at the moment because I havent been able to watch it. As youve maybe guessed, i think toby being a part of the ateam is absolutely ridiculous and sooooo out of character for toby, but maybe thats just me. though ive seen a lot of people be pissed. How could that possibly be happening? I mean, are they serious? Toby is a good guy and him and spencer are perfect together. Well, in my opinion they are. He must be one hell of a good actor! I thought I'd just let you know what I think about all of this.**


	17. Chapter 14

Chapter 14: Raising the stakes

****"Spencer, this can't go on like this!"  
>Mrs. Hastings voice is loud and clear and her gaze is hard, merciless and strict as she looks at her youngest daughter, sitting on the couch in front of her.<br>Spencer raises her eyebrows in a silent question even though she already thinks she knows what her mother is on about.  
>"Don't you look at me like that!"<br>Her mother is furious and Spencer knows that she tries very hard to keep from screaming at her.  
>"I just got a call from the principle. He says that you've been skipping class on top of already slipping with your grades! Skipping! What are you thinking? What's wrong with you?"<br>Spencer shuts her laptop that she has been writing on. She knows what her mom is talking about, of course. She has skipped almost half a day of school because her and Hanna thought they'd had a chance of getting closer to solving the mystery of A.  
>She hasn't felt comfortable cutting class at all and she was hoping that her parents wouldn't find out or would be too busy working to really pay attention.<br>But then, what did she expect? When it comes to school, her parents have always been really attentive.  
>"I'm sorry, mom. It won't happen again," Spencer promises, fully aware that she isn't answering any of her mom's questions. But she wouldn't be able to explain it all, anyway.<br>"It better doesn't! What happened to you, Spencer? You used to like school! Yo used to be the best student in your year! What were you thinking? This can go on your permanent record!"  
>Spencer flinches inwardly. Of course she knows about the consequences. Possible consequences...<br>It's just that she's so tired of A playing them, of living in fear, of always being challenged that she wants to end all of this. Send A straight were they belong, all of them. To join the sick nutjob Mona.  
>First of all, though, it seems that she has to deal with her mother.<br>"I know, mom, and I'm sorry. And it won't happen again," she promises, looking her mother in the eyes and praying silently that she doesn't have to break that promise any time soon.  
>"I am grounding you, Spencer! Because I am so sure the Cavanaugh-kid has something to do with this. He's always been a very bad influence on you!"<br>Spencer feels the anger starting to boil inside her. Grounding her for bad grades ans skipping class is one thing, but blaming Toby for it is something else. Especially since he's had absolutely nothing to do with it.  
>"But, mom," Spencer starts to protest, also because with being grounded comes the inability of leaving the house and ending all this misery and the cause of all of her problems. But her mother doesn't know that. And she can't.<br>"And I will have Melissa watch you study so that your grades go up again. I will not tolerate skipping and slipping grades in this house. And that is my last word!"  
>"How long will you ground me for?" Spencer asks, resigning to her fate.<br>"We'll see, depends on you," Mrs. Hasting says and with that, she points at the door.  
>With a big sigh, Spencer gets up and makes her way through the door to get her bag and then upstairs. So now on top of being controlled, she's grounded and Melissa will watch her do her studying. Oh joy, could it get any worse?<br>Frustrated, she throws her bag on the bed, pulls out her notebook and a school book an sits down at her desk, determinded on getting her grades back up as soon as she possibly can. And her history paper is the best way to start.  
>One hour later - after her mother has checked on her twice - her phone beeps. Knowing she's now alone in the house, Spencer grabs her phone, annoyed by the distraction.<br>"What?" she snaps.  
>"Woah! Are you PMS-ing?" Hannah's voice on the other end of the line.<br>"No, sorry. I'm just trying to work because I need to get my grades back up."  
>"What? Spencer, you only have one B!"<br>"One B too much," Spencer replies and sighs, questioning why Hannah is even surprised.  
>"Ever the straight-A-student!"<br>"What do you want, Han?", Spencer asks and rolls her eyes.  
>"Emily said you were gonna try to think about a way to get closer to A or something...?"<br>"I was, but...I still think our main source would be the nut-case Mona..."  
>There was silence on the other end of the line. Spencer knew that this wasn't Hannahs favourite topic at all. She knew Hannah hadn't completely given up hope that Mona was a victim of all of this or that she changed.<br>Spencer however did not at all believe in either of those theories.  
>"Well, yeah, but Mona's sick, So we can't exactly march up to her...she won't tell us anything."<br>Silently, Spencer knows, Hannah is thinking "because she doesn't know anything else". It had been hard, and still is, for Hannah to accept that her former best friend iswas capable of doing these kinds of things to her.  
>"Other than that, I have nothing new, Hannah and I'm sorry to have to kick you out like this but I really have to continue with my work. Sorry!"<br>"Yeah, sure..."  
>She hides her "nerd" in a cough and Spencer can almost see her grin.<br>"Shut up! Bye, Han!"  
>"Bye!"<br>She has a new text when she gets back to her room after getting something to drink. It's from Toby.  
>"Hey Spencer, do u wanna come over l8er? My parents r out. XX"<br>"Sry, can't. My mom grounded me for skipping class. XX"  
>Determinded to get her work done and not et distracted, she turns off her phone and throws it onto the bed. Getting everything done takes her far longer than she's originally expected.<br>Late at night, when she switched her phone back on, she has another text from A. With a racing heart, she opens the message:  
>"How does it feel to be locked up? A."<br>Being grounded and being locked up is probably kind of comparable so...  
>Probably referring to Mona, Spencer thinks. But how does A even know? The only one she told about being grounded is ….<br>"Oh my god!"  
>With a shriek, she jumped off her chair and to her feet.<br>No, this isn't possible.  
>Anxious, she starts pacing up and down in her room.<br>It is simply not possible. Toby is not A.  
>He can't be.<br>She couldn't have been that wrong about him.  
>"But how does A know?", the most critical and rational side of her brain argues. She has no answer to that question apart from:<br>"Toby is not A."  
>Toby is her boyfriend, she loves him and he loves her. He would never ever in a life time do this to her. Or her friends. He is not that kind of person.<br>"That's also what Hannah thought about Mona, isn't it?" her brain argues again.  
>Spencer wishes nothing more than being able to shut this side of her brain up. She wishes the tiny little seeds of doubt wouldn't be planting themselves into her heart right now.<br>Pressing her hands to her head in an attempt to stop her inner voices from arguing with one another, Spencer falls onto the bed.  
>No way, she couldn't have been that wrong about Toby.<br>If he were A, that would mean he had faked everything about their relationships and his feelings for her. You couldn't fake that. You couldn't be that good of an actor.  
>"Or could you? If you were really intend on destroying the life of the people who once made your life hell?<br>Don't let your heart fool you, Spencer, you always knew it was your brain you could rely on more!", the voice advises. For someone as rational as Spencer usually is, it is almost impossible to ignore.  
>But she trusts Toby with all her heart, trusts him more than she did anyone else.<br>Had she made a huge fool of herself by telling him about a? Had she made herself and her friends more vulnarable? Had she put them at disadvantage?  
>What on earth is she supposed to do? How could she fine out the truth? And what would she do if he was really part of the A-team?<br>Spencer's head feels like it's about ready to explode any second.  
>And her heart is still there, screaming at her for even considering Toby could betray her like that.<br>She doesn't know what to think, so she busies herself with work around the house, takes a sleeping pill and goes to bed to dose of into a dreamless but nontheless anxious sleep.  
>The next morning when Spencer arrives in her classroom, she sees Hannah speak to the teacher but the brunette barely notices. From the moment she opened her eyes, the thoughts have been crowding her mind and she's too caught up in that potential new turn of events to pay attention in class.<br>She doesn't know anthing anymore. She doesn't even know whether or not to tell her friends that she has these...suspicions about her own boyfriend.  
>She feels miserable and so she decides to go home and pretend to be sick for the rest of the day since she can't focus anyway.<br>Melissa is at the house when Spencer arrives and she looks supsicious at first, but one look at Spencer's pale skin makes her believe her younger sister and she even offers to make tea. All Spencer wants at the moment, though, is to be left alone with her thoughts.  
>When she's locked herself in her room, she takes out a sheet of paper and writes down everything she can think of.<br>Arguments that point towards Toby being A, other that point the opposite directions. She tries to look for other signals in the past but she comes up blank and the list doesn't have the desired effect at all.  
>No more clarity than she had before.<br>Her thoughts go in a circle, they neither move backwards nor forwards and it is driving her so crazy she actually throws her pen against the door, causing Melissa to come upstairs and check on her.  
>Upon seeing the notebook on the bed and the unshed tears in her sisters eyes, she strokes Spencers hair and tells her that even thought her mother grounded her, everything will be fine.<br>It takes all Spencer's self-controll to not burst into tears right then and there but when Melissa leaves, she finally crumbles, lies face-first on the bed and sobs inconsolably into her pillow at the mere thought of Toby being someone she doesn't think he is.  
>The rest of the day, Spencer spends thinking, trying and failing to do her homework and sleeping.<br>Therefor she stays up all through the night, being tired ut not being able to find sleep.  
>Suprisingly, her mother allows her to stay home the next day, too and at night her, Spencer's father and Melissa head off to a friends house together.<br>A knock on her slidedoor causes Spencer to flinch and she almost screams when she sees Toby stand in front of it in a jumper, hood pulled up to cover half his face.  
>Hastily wiping at her eyes and trying to quickly debate whther to let him in or not and how to act around him, Spencer gets up.<br>She needs to find out more. She needs to watch him closely. And so she opens the door. Looking into his bright blue eyes, she can't help but ask herself whether these eyes are watching her struggle with her life and A and enjoying it.****

***Tadadaaaaa! I know it's been long and I also know this is a unexpected turn of events, so I'm DYING to know what you guys think about this. Do you think Spencer is right or wrong with her suspicions? What do you guys think she is supposed to do? And I have something new for you guys: I will do it like some other writers here and say: I want you guys to leave me 5 reviews. I will not upload before that. I know it's not fair to those who review regularely and I'm thankful for silent readers, too, I'm just hoping that I get a bit more feedback from all of you about this, since it is after all my first story I have ever posted online. So please, humor me. Now it is in your control how fast the updates are going!  
>Then I want to thank all those guest-readers who were so kind as to leave me a review even though they don't have an account on here. THANK YOU SO MUCH! You are making my days!<br>XOXO  
>Layla<br>P.S.: What are your opinions of the events in the show right now?***


	18. Special Post

Dear readers,

first of all, I'm sorry to inform you that this is not the new chapter you may have been waiting for. I still didn't get these 5 comments that I was actually going for but that doesn't matter now: I promise you, as soon as I've finished the new chapter, I will upload it. I am sorry that this didn't go the way I had intended and that my regular reviewers had to wait this long. It's sad but I won't make it a request anymore, just please review. You have no idea how much that would mean to me, especially right now as I'm not feeling too well. 

With that said, I want to move on to the topic I actually wanted to make this post about:  
>As I had to hear on sunday, Cory Monteith has suddenly passed away. You might not know this but I am actually a big fan of glee and a gigantic finchel-fan and this news shocked me to the core.<p>

I know I didn't know him but it certainly feels like I did with all the interviews I watched. And you always take something of the character he portrays in glee and transfer it onto the person. So I felt like I knew him.

What I want to say right now is "Rest in peace, Cory Monteith. I wish all the strenght to his family and friends and Lea Michele and I hope they feel the support the Glee-fans are trying to send them."

It is certainly too young to die at age 31, especially since everyone seems to have thought that he was getting better again after his drug problem. It's an incredible shock. I can't believe it.

My brain doesn't seem to be able to wrap around the fact that Cory Monteith has died. Not ever again will we hear his voice in a glee-version of a song. Never ever see his face pull into that trademark smile of his. Sympathy to everyone who knew him, who will be knowing that the picture they're looking at, the episode they're watching, the tweet they're reading or the song they're listening to will be the last thing he will have written, sung or filmed.

Rest in peace, Cory Monteith, and like every time I hear of someone who died I wish more than anything that there is a better place for them and that maybe they are looking down on us. I don't believe that but I wish I believed it because I think that would make it easier somehow. I know it's probably no support for all these people who knew him because it hurts too much but I wish for them that they are able to believe it.

I saw two posts someone wrote and it nearly made me cry:

"She was supposed to wear a white dress and kiss him at the altar. Now she has to wear a black dress and kiss his coffin."

"She was supposed to say "I do", not "goodbye". Stay strong, Lea Michele and the entire famile and friends of Cory Monteith!

I just really wanted to express my thoughts on this because this has really been in my thoughts a lot. I was starting to write a Finchel-story and because I think it is important to keep his memory alive, I will continue writing it and maybe upload it one day.

XOXO

Layla 


	19. Chapter 15

Chapter 15: Part of an act?

**Thank you for all your reviews and your continuing support. I really appreciate it and its the reason I keep uploading.**

"Hi, Toby! What are you doing here?" Spencer asks, putting on her most convincing smile while she feels her heart hammering against the inside of her chest.

"Emily said you were sick so I came to check on you. How are you?"

Is that real concern she sees in his eyes or is it all just part of an act?

"Real concern," her heart seems to scream.

"An act," her head counters.

Spencer feels like screaming at both voices to shut up.

"You need to convince him nothing's going on!", she tells herself and smiles again, trying to make it look a little bit week.

"A bit better but still not well..."

If he thinks she isn't doing well, maybe he'd leave sooner. She isn't ready to face him yet but the question is: will she ever be?

"Uh...might I come in?"

She realizes she's still blocking the way to the door and for the first time ever in her relationship with Toby, she steps aside with doubt and suspicion nagging at her heart. He's been the one person to always count on.

What if he isn't anymore?

Toby steps inside while Spencer is grateful for the few seconds she has to compose her thoughts and facial expression.

Her mind is racing with the question of how she could possibly get rid of him as fast as possible without making him suspicious.

She needs some time to ponder and prepare for this before she can actually deal with him.

Toby slowly takes his hood off but it is no relief to Spencer. A part of her suddenly feels threatened and scared and she doesn't seem to be able to make it shut up.

"Are you still contagious?" Toby asks with a lazy smirk on his face and pulls her to him by her waist. The suspicious part of Spencer feels trapped and helpless pressed against his body - and she's never felt like this before.

She laughs but even to her own ears, it sounds fake. If Toby noticed, he doesn't let it show.

"Unfortunately," she says, trying to make it look like she really means it, "I think I am."

She mentally pats her own shoulder because this way she'll be able to ensure that he can't mess with her head by kissing her.

This disease might have to go on longer than she would have expected.

Toby looks disappointed when he hears the news but he's smiling again after no time.

"Sorry to hear that. Where did you catch this anyway?"

Spencer shrugs.

"No idea, probably school."

She peeks around the room, trying to find an excuse to step out of his arms as she can already feel some of her suspicion drain away in this embrace.

"You're still grounded, aren't you?" he asks.

Spencer slowly nods her head, not knowing how to create some distance between herself and the boy she always trusted and now has suddenly become very suspicious off.

"Spencer, look at me. What's going on with you?"

Spencer inhales deeply and then looks him right in the eye.

His facial expression is one of concern mixed with confusion.

"Spencer, get yourself together," she thinks, "This is TOBY. And you really can't have him think something's going on!"

Another deep breath, and she smiles slowly.

"Nothing," she replies finally.

Toby smiles and slowly lowers his head towards her. Spencer's heart starts beating frantically in her chest.

She turns her head to the side and smiles, trying to look regretful.

"No, no, I don't want you getting sick."

She steps out of his arms.

"Do you mind if I lay down? I'm not feeling too well."

There's the distance she wanted.

"Do you want me to get you some tea?"

"That would be nice." Spencer gives him a grateful, weak smile and crawls into her bed. Toby smiles and leaves the room.

Spencer takes a couple of deep breaths.

"Get it together, Spencer Hastings!" she scolds herself.

Toby can't possibly be A. It's not possible. He would have been making a fool of her for months. She could not have been that stupid.

Suddenly, Spencer's phone rings.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Spence, it's me," Hanna's voice says.

"Hi."

"Are you really sick or are you skipping?"

"Um..." Suddenly panicked that Toby might overhear and start questioning, Spencer nods even though she knows Hanna can't see her, "Yes."

"Oh, sorry. I found something out..."

"We'll talk tomorrow or something, ok?" Spencer cuts her off and hangs up.

A couple of minutes and a few deep breaths later, Toby strolls in, holding a tray with a teapot, a cup and the sugar bowl. Spencer smiles the first real smile since he got here. He couldn't possibly be faking all of this.

When Toby is about to set the tray down, he moves too quick to that some tea from the cup spills over and runs all the way onto his shirt.

"Oh, shit!" he curses and holds the hot fabric away from his body.

Without thinking, Spencer leaps up, runs around the bed and comes to a halt next to him.

"Are you okay?" she asks.

Toby's painful grimace turns into a small smile and he nods.

"Could you help me get the shirt of?"

Spencer nods and helps him out of his shirt so he's left shirtless in the middle of her room with her standing very close. Spencer's heart accelerates again but for a completely different reason this time and she swallows.

Does he have to have this kind of body?

She casts her eyes down but it doesn't help matters because now she's staring directly at his muscled chest and the sixpack.

Hurriedly, she steps away from him and turns but not without seeing the broad grin on his face.

"Shut up!", she grins as she gets back down in bed, careful not to rock it too much so that the cup won't spill over again.

He's still grinning when she looks at him again.

"So how has being grounded been?" he asks while she puts sugar in her tea and starts drinking it.

And suddenly the uncertainty is back.

Being grounded. Being locked up. And the old question: how does A know?

She can't think of a way to get him to leave and so she lays back, pretending to be exhausted. Toby sits down in her comfortable arm chair he has spent hours in.

"Are you tired?"

Spencer nods weakly and thinks she should be getting an oscar for this performance.

Toby smiles.

"I am, too. Work is pretty tough. But I like it," he says and tells her about his day.

Spencer, having developed a plan, lets her eyelids flutter and drop a couple of times. She turns to her side so that he can't see her face and stares at the clock. After about ten minutes she closes her eyes for good.

Impatient and tense, Spencer lies on her side, listening to every sound but the only thing she can hear is her own breathing.

Suddenly, she hears a shuffling noise and then the sound of steps on the wooden floor. Her heart accelerates and she has to force her breathing to stay normal and her eyes to remain closed.

"What is he up to?" she asks herself.

Some more shuffling is audible and the bed dips as Toby seems to kneel on it. She feels the movement of her mattress as he lays down.

His arm softly wraps around her and then the silence is back. She can hear nothing but his calm breathing and her own.

And despite of the fact that she tries to hold on to it, she feels the tension leave her body. The safe feeling she always has in his arms is now taking over the rational side of her brain. No way he could be part of the A-team.

Some time passes and she notices that Toby's breathing has gradually slowed and she's pretty sure that he's now fast asleep. His arm has slid of her waist, giving her the freedom to go to the bathroom without waking him.

When Spencer returns to her room, she stops in the door frame to watch Toby for a minute. He looks relaxed and younger in his sleep as she studies his familiar features: the dimple in his chin, the chaotic hair that falls onto his forehead, the defined bones of his jaw.

He can't possible be A.

Spencer's gaze glides over the phone-shaped bulge in his jeans pocket and an idea pops into her mind: she could look through his phone and then she'd know for certain.

The thought of going through his phone doesn't seem right to her because of the relationship of trust they've built up with each other.

"If he's part of the A-team, what does that say for your trusting relationship?" the snarky, rational side of her brain argues.

Spencer sighs.

It would definitely be too risky to try to get his phone now but at least now she has some sort of plan.

As Spencer walks over to get back into bed, her phone suddenly starts ringing, startling her in the silence and causing her to drop her phone.

She hurriedly picks it up off the floor and answers it, staring at Toby's sleeping figure on the bed.

"Hello?" she whispers.

"Spencer?" her mother's voice asks.

"Yes."

"Why are you whispering?"

"I'm not," Spencer replies a little bit louder as she has left the room and walked into the bathroom.

"Well, anyway. We just wanted to let you know we'll be a little bit late as the traffic is very crowded at the moment."

"Ok, sure."

"See you then!"

"Bye!"

When Spencer steps back into her room, Toby is blinking at her sleepily from his spot on the bed, propped on his lower arms.

"Have you been awake for a long time?"

She smiles, shaking her head and sits on the edge of the bed.

He crawls over towards her.

"What's going on with you today?" he asks and slowly comes closer.

"Contagious, remember?" she smiles as she gets up, praying that her facial expression is regretful.

Toby is watching her carefully. Mentally cursing her acting skills, Spencer sits back down next to him and leans against him to stop him from staring at her and making her nervous.

Silence enfolds in the room, creating an awkwardness that the young couple has never experienced before.

Spencer can feel that her weird acting has created some tension between her boyfriend and her that is now filling the air.

While Spencer is busy trying to find a topic of conversation that will distract from the awkwardness in the room, Toby shifts at the same time as she can feel his phone vibrate in his pocket.

He takes it out but after a quick glance, he puts it back.

"Aren't you going to take that?" Spencer aks while her suspicion is flashing big, bright red warning lights as her.

Since when has he stopped taking calls around her?

This, after all, can only mean one thing: He doesn't want her to overhear the conversation. Meaning he has a secret, Spencer concludes.

"No, I'll just call them back later."

The frown stays on Spencer's forehead as her heart has picked up speed once again.

She doesn't know how to act.

"Spencer, we're home!" A voice suddenly calls from downstairs and Spencer leaps up.

"Already?" she mutters to herself but doesn't question it further while she runs across the room to grab Toby's hood and throw it at him.

"See you...?" Toby asks while he gives her a quick peck on the cheek.

She nods, smiles and practically forces him out the slide door before jumping back into bed.

For the first time ever that she can remember she is glad that her parents are home because it means Toby had to leave.

***Sooo, guys, what do you think? I know, there wasn't much going on in his chapter, I just wanted to make sure you know how Spencer is feeling and how this suspicion is going to build up tension between her and Toby. You'll just have to wait and see how it all develops. And while you do that, could you please leave me a review? :) One more thing: You know how I'm always thankful for any kind of review but I want to thank one reader specifically: spoby equals awesomeness, thank you for your very kind words - it meant a lot to me! She also wrote a Spoby-story, so check it out! :) Thank you, anyway! **

**Don't forget to review, my dear readers!**

**xxxx**

**Layla***


	20. Chapter 16

Chapter 16: It's never good to have secrets

"Spencer, are you alright?" Melissa asks as she's watching her sister from across the table.

"As if I would tell any of you!" Spencer thinks, looking around the table.

Mr. and Mrs. Hastings have ordered their daughters to gather around the table so they could all have dinner together and "spend some much needed family time".

That doesn't sit right with Spencer. Something has to be up with her parents.

"Or it is your paranoia kicking in again," a part of her argues. She rolls her eyes and finally answers her sisters question.  
>"Everything's peachy, Melissa."<p>

Mrs. Hastings frowns at the fake sweetness of her younger daughters voice but wisely does not comment on it any further.

"How is your school work coming, Spencer?" she asks.

"Fine," her daughter replies curtly.  
>She is in no mood to play happy family right now.<p>

She has far more important things on her mind like figuring out whether or not her boyfriend spent the last couple of months trying to ruin her life.

As soon as everyone is finished eating, Spencer shoots of from her chair, gathers the plates and puts them in the dishwasher before exiting the room.

Back in the days where she didn't have A to deal with, her family had been a happy one and she had loved dinners like this.

But ever since A and his revelations and the situation he or she has brought Spencer in, her family life has been more than flawed.

Spencer frowns but since there is nothing she can do about that right now, she decides to focus on more important matters at hand.

She needs to figure out whether or not she should tell her friends about her suspicions concerning Toby.  
>She finally decides against it, because she doesn't want to throw potentially false accusations around and also doesn't want to put Emily in the situation she is currently in as Emily is friends with Toby.<p>

And also, there is a tiny part of her that doesn't want to repeat the whole "You're obsessed"-drama.

So the next day at school, Spencer doesn't mention anything to her friends about the suspicions nagging her.

She needs to figure this out on her own and she's decided that she will do whatever it takes to be sure - even if that means going against her principles and going through Toby's phone.

"How's your boyfriend, Aria?" Hannah asks with a big grin.

Aria rolls her eyes and shakes her head so that her dark hair almost hits Emilys face.

"Sorry, Em," Aria smiles and turns back to Hannah.

"He's fine. The whole secrecy-stuff is annoying but well..."

Hannah smiles. Since everything is going well with Caleb, she seems to think she has to take care of everyone else's relationships now.

"How's everything with Toby?"

Spencer inwardly sighs.

Of course they'd be discussing this now - at the time she has doubts about Toby for the first time ever since they started dating.

"He's fine. He stopped by yesterday to check on me and all."

"Of course, THAT is the reason he stopped by," Hanna winked.

Spencer rolls her eyes.

"I hope you didn't pass the disease on the poor guy. Because you know, he could easily have it now after you were swapping so much sali..."

"Hanna!", Spencer interrupted but she couldn't help but laugh at her friends words. This was all so typical Hanna.

Emily is looking at Spencer like she knows something is up but Spencer decides to ignore it and distracts the others with a question about the history paper.

Hannah rolls her eyes but answers.

Sitting in Mrs. Montgomery's class two hours later, Spencer's mind has drifted off to Toby and what all the not-taking-the-phonecall had been about.

"Spencer?"

Her head snaps up and she notices Mrs. Montgomery standing a few feet away, looking at her with a mixture of annoyance and worry on her face.

Spencer feels the blush creep up her cheeks as she notices her entire class watching her and knows she has no idea what the question was, let alone the answer.

"Sorry," she mutters, embarrassed. She hates looking stupid.

Hanna can't hide the little grin on her face and Spencer shoots her a glare. Her mood is constantly getting worse.

"Come see me after class, please," Mrs. Montgomery says before turning back and continuing her lesson.  
>Spencer forces herself to pay attention and contribute to it from time to time but she can't help the bad feeling she has.<p>

After the lesson, she waits for the class to leave the room and says goodbye to the girls, promising to call them later.

"You wanted to talk to me?"

"Spencer, I'm a bit worried about you," says Aria's mother, looking up from her notes with genuine worry in her dark eyes.

"Why?"

"You've been absentminded in the last lessons and I know what a committed, smart student you usually are.

Spencer doesn't know what to say to that. After all, she has been absent minded lately but who can blame her.

"I've just had a lot on my mind lately," she states vaguely, awkwardly shifting the weight of her bag on her shoulder.

Mrs. Montgomery strokes a strand of her long, straight, dark hair behind her ear and smiles.

"I know, Spencer. But you know how important school is to you. And I've been thinking that maybe I need to talk to your parents."

Spencer feels a frisson of alarm wash through her.

"Please, don't. I promise I'll participate in class more."

Trying her best to put on a convincing face, Spencer smiles.

She can see that Aria's mom is indecisive.

"Please, give me one chance."

If her parents find out that she hasn't been paying attention in class, she will be in so much trouble and she can't be punished even more.

"Ok, Spencer, but I'm trusting you."

"Thanks!" She says gratefully and after having said goodbye to her friends mom, she leaves school, checking her phone on the way.

"I'm at the grill. Wanna join me? Toby"

What is he doing at the grill?

Determined to find that out and solve any mystery about her boyfriend, Spencer replies that she'll meet him there in a few, gets in her car and drives there.

She sees him immediately upon entering and he's talking on the phone. He's so distracted that he doesn't see her and she comes closer, trying to hear the conversation.  
>"No, we can't do that...It's not right...No..." she hears him say in a hushed voice as she stands behind him.<p>

Suddenly, he sees her and an expression of shock and maybe guilt crosses his features.

"I gotta go, bye!...Hey, Spence, I didn't see you there. So you're feeling better?"

Is it her paranoia or does he seem nervous. And who was he talking to on the phone? About what?

"Who were you talking to?" She asks, trying and failing to sound casual.

"Oh, just an old friend."

She can't stop herself from raising an eyebrow as she sits without giving him a kiss.

He doesn't say anything more and even more suspicious, Spencer lets it drop.

"Yeah, I'm better. Was at school today and all..."

"Good to know. I was starting to get worried," he says and smiles but this time, it doesn't affect Spencer at all.

She doesn't know how to get the information I need and looks at his phone that is placed on the table right in front of her.

The young couple starts chatting about his work and school and her parents but Spencer can't bring herself to relax. She knows he noticed that something his up but he doesn't say anything and neither does she.

Talking to her boyfriend has never felt this wrong or forced or awkward before. Is that a sign that she's been right with her suspicions?

"I need to use the bathroom, I'll be right back," Toby says and gets up.

Spencer prays that he will leave his phone on the table but something in her face must have given away what she was up to and Toby gives her a weird look and takes his phone.

"He is definately hiding something," she thinks.

It hurts to think that her own boyfriend might be betraying her like this.

The rational side of her brain has clearly more arguments than her heart in this matter.

Spencer pays for their stuff while he's gone, so she can leave as fast as possible and she can finally do what she should have done as soon as the thought had occurred to her: tell her friends about her suspicions.

When he returns, they leave the building together, seemingly enveloped by a bubble of tension around them.

Spencer feels really uncomfortable and on edge and she has to keep herself from snapping at him when he asks her something.

She curses herself for being stupid and blind.

Suddenly, Toby takes her hand, smiling so kindly, she almost feels guilty for thinking these kinds of thoughts about him.

"Don't you dare get melancholy?!" the voice inside her head shouts.

The couple walks down the street in silence.

Suddenly, Spencer notices all the people staring at her and Toby. It's because of his reputation, she knows that. Because what people think he did.

She used to curse people who were that prejudiced about him but now, for the first time, she thinks they might be right thinking badly about him.

But then again, of they knew the truth, they'd think badly of her, too.

"Hey, Spencer!" She suddenly hears a familiar voice call out behind her.

"Oh my god, no! This can't be happening!" She thinks, her eyes widening in panic as her heartbeat starts to accelerate.

Very slowly, she turns, already knowing who she will be facing and suddenly more than nervous.

"Do you know him?" Toby asks, curiously.

"Yes," Spencer replies but her voice sounds breathless and quiet.

"What's he doing here?" she thinks in a panic.

"Spencer, how are you?" The person continues making conversation as if they didn't have the history they have and as if her boyfriend wasn't standing next to her right now. What was he doing, trying to pretend nothing had happened between them?

"Oh my god, I'm in so much trouble!", she thinks, knowing that she has gone really pale. All she can do is stare at the man who's standing a few feet away.

"Spencer, what is going on?" Toby asks.

***Damdamdam! I'm being mean, I know. Cliffhanger and all...;) So, who is the mysterious guy Spencer really doesn't want to see? And what is Toby hiding? Make me happy by leaving your thoughts, ok? ;) You know, the more I know about what you think, the faster I'll update! ;)**

**So, one more thing: I have an account on watt pad (I left the space because of this whole thing where they don't show the link on this site). It's called "Just because you look good" and my name there is "xHopingAgainstHopex". If you like my stories, please check it out. No, I won't be slower in updating "A long way" because of this, since I have already written many chapters of "just because you look good". So, please check it out and maybe leave me a review? You guys are the best!**

**Xxx**

**Layla***


	21. Chapter 17

Chapter 17: Temptations

**I am dedicating this chapter to spoby equals awesomeness. She has been a reader of "A long way" for quite some time and has left many reviews. Not only that, but she is also being very, very, very kind to me and the things she writes never fail to make my day. So, spoby equals awesomeness, this is for you and I can't ever tell you just how much kindness and continuing support means to me! So THANKS! Guys, she writes Spoby-stories , too, check them out, they're great!**

A part of Spencer's brain is still busy trying to tell her:

"This can't be happening right now. You are hallucinating!"

Her mind seems to be on overload and completely blank at the same time.

But he is very, very real, standing in front of her and Toby, smiling the smile that wowed her so much back when she first met him.

"Wren," she says in acknowledgement and greeting, knowing that all of the color has drained from her face.

***IMPORTANT: I have to clarify a few things because otherwise, confusion might be caused. So, I know I started this story sometime in season 1 but I have to admit, while keeping on watching the show, I got confused as to how Spencer and Wrens relationship had been at the point where I started my story. So, in THIS story: I'll just say that they have kissed once and had a brief conversation concerning the fact that she wants him to tell her family that he initiated the kiss. And that's it – that's how they parted, at least for the sake of this story.**

"Hi. May I ask who this is?" Wren asks and nods at Toby. Toby, Spencer notices, is looking back and forth between her and him and clenching his teeth, making it obvious that he knows something is going on and is suspecting the shared history of Wren and Spencer.

"This is Toby," Spencer introduces, too mad at him and uncertain of their relationship to actually introduce him as her boyfriend.  
>"Hi. I'm Dr. Wren Kingston." Wren says, smiles and extends his hand to Toby in greeting but his eyes barely leave Spencers even for one second. Toby looks at the offered hand, not making a move to shake hands with Wren. Spencer can't help but notice that Toby must be suspicious off some of their shared history and the thought makes her shutter.<p>

At the same time, the way the guys stare at each other like this is some kind of pissing contest is only fueling her anger.

Just add another thing to the stuff she has to be worried about.

After a moment of beyond awkward silence, Wren lets his hand drop back down and his gaze wanders once again to Spencer.

"So, how have you been?"

Wren is still talking in that british accent.

Even right now, Spencer can't help the part of her that wants to go "Awwww!" at the sound of it and urge him to keep talking, no matter what he says.

"Get a freaking grip!", she reprimands herself as the ovious tension between the two boys seems to build even more.

"Great," she says with as much cheerfulness as she can manage but it'so pathetic, she starts to blush.

Toby, upon seeing the color in her cheeks, looks at first suspicious and then seems equally as pissed at Spencer as at Wren.

"What are you doing here?" Spencer asks, cursing her voice for sounding this shaky.

All the pentup emotions she's been surpressing ever since she last saw Wren come rushing to her all at once: the guilt primarely, but also the attraction she felt and the heartbreak. Trying to keep them at bay, Spencer swallows and looks away as Wren answers:

"I came back to find work here and all..."

For some reason, Spencer knows there's more to Wrens reason for coming back than he lets on and she has a sinking feeling that it has something to do with her because of the way he's looking at her. And one sideward glance at her boyfriend says he sees it, too.

Suddenly afraid all of this is going to end in a big fight between the two of them, Spencer steps in front of Toby and smiles forcedly at Wren.

"Ok, good for you but we gotta get going! Bye!"

And then, taking Toby's arm, she pulls him with her, away from Wren who is left standing in the middle of the street with a slightly confused frown on his face.

"So, Dr. Kingston...Have something to tell me?" Toby remarks icely.

"No," Spencer replies, trying to close the subject even though she would have liked to have a go at him for his manners towards Wren. But then they'd dwell on how she knows Wren and how Toby is right to suspect something and she surpresses the urge.

This meeting has kicked in motion all the thoughts and feelings she's been trying to surpress and she is in no way ready to talk about it, and especially not to Toby.  
>Her phone bings and she takes it out of her pocket.<p>

"My, my...Remember what I said about you kissing and me telling? I guess Toby won't be that thrilled...-A"

A cold shiver runs down Spencer's spine at the words on the screen. How could she have forgotten, even for one moment, how much power A has over her and her relationships.

"Spencer, are you ok? What is it?" Toby asks, concern in his eyes. Suddenly, all anger about Wren is forgotten as worry about his girlfriend is more powerful.

She shoves the phone back into her pocket.

"Nothing."

"Right. What did it say? Was it from A?" he presses.

"I don't know. You tell me..." Spencer snaps, turns on her heel and stalks off the other way, leaving the second guy standing on the street with no clue what's going on.

Spencer is in a proper rage all of a sudden and her strides are so energetic and fast, she overtakes some joggers on her way. She doesn't even know where she's going and it has completely escaped her raging mind that she actually left her car at the grill.

While she is stomping through town she suddenly remembers that she's grounded but then it occurs to her that her mother told her she and her dad will be out of town for two days and Melissa has left the day before to spend a week at a friends house in another state.

This topic occupies her only for a short moment, however.

The internal battle of Spencer's feelings makes her completely unaware of her surroundings and she is only stopped as she runs straight into a person on the sidewalk.

"Ouch, oh god! Sorry!" she exclaims automatically as she looks up to see Byron Montgomery, Aria's father, right in front of her, rubbing his shoulder.

It's only then she realizes that she has walked to Aria's house.

"Ou...You're like a tornado, Spencer."

"Oh, gee thanks," she thinks but surpresses it and manages a forced smile.

"Sorry about that, Mr. Montgomery. I'm here to see Aria. Is she in?"

He nods and she runs past him with another hurried apology called over her shoulder.

Without knocking on the door, Spencer bursts into Aria's room, starteling her friend.

"Oh my god, Spencer, couldn't you have warned me?" The brunette calls out, clutching a hand to her chest and closing the book she was reading with the other.

"Couldn't someone have warned me that my life was gonna get this messed up?" Spencer asks cryptically and dramatically and drops onto Aria's bed before shooting up again and pacing the room.

"What's going on, why are you here making no sense?"

Spencer doesn't stop pacing.

"Spencer...?"

Spencer doesn't reply, she's too deep in though about Wren amd her confusing emotions and Toby and her suspicions about him being part of the A-team.

"Ok, that's enough!" Aria says with determination and despite her tiny figure manages to push her friend onto the bed.

"Now. What has you so freaked out? Is it A?"

"For once, A is the least of my problems," Spencer mutters, having never thought she'd ever hear herself say something like that.

Aria seems equally surprised at these words.

"Ok. What's going on?"

Because she is still not sure whether or not to tell her friends about her suspicions, Spencer starts with the other topic on her mind.

"Me and Toby just ran into Wren on the street."

Arias eyes widen.

"WHAT? THE Wren?"

"Yeah. We were walking down the street and then suddenly, there he was. All like "How are you doing?" in his freaking british accent."

Aria is silent for a moment.

"Oh!"

"Yeah, exactly. And Toby...they had some sort of pissing contest and...ugh!" she grunts and gets back up to return to pacing the room.

"Oh. Wow, that sucks!"

"You think?" she replies sarcastically, "And I could have killed him for the way he was acting."

"What did he do?"

"Wren wanted to shake his hand and he just had to be extra mature and glare at it..."  
>"Well," Aria says, sounding more sympathetic for Toby than Spencer would have liked, "What do you expect him to do when he meets the guy his girlfriend..."<p>

She interrupts herself as she stares at Spencers facial expression.

"Spencer...? He doesn't know, does he?"

Spencer shakes her head and sits back down.

"Oh my gosh, you didn't tell him?"

"No. I thought that was in the past, so he didn't have to know. Toby is a really good person and I didn't want him to judge me for this."

"I'm guessing now you have a big problem."

"No shit, sherlock!" Spencer snaps but noticing her current state of distress, Aria kindly overlooksit and continues:

"So...just try keeping Toby away from Wren while he stays here I guess."

"That might be a bit difficult to since...Oh yeah, I didn't tell you? He plans to MOVE here. I might as well go shoot myself."

"You're being dramatic. So I guess Toby suspected something?"

Spencer nodds.

"This is a bloody mess," she says in the best impression of a british accent she can manage.

Aria grins at the failed attempt.

"But you haven't heard the best part yet. Toby is hiding something from me. And I have reason to suspect that..." She trails of, still not decided whether or not she should tell Aria.

"That what?"

"Can you keep a secret?"

Aria nods and Spencer tells her the story of how she's come to suspect he's part of the A-team and how Toby's been hiding something from her.

Aria looks shocked, rendered completely speechless.

"And I kind of...Toby asked if the text was from A and I said "You tell me"..."

Silence weighs heavily over the room as Aria tries to digest these pieces of information and consider them.

Like Spencer, Aria's first reaction is in Toby's favour.

"No, I don't believe that. I don't think he would be the kind of guy to do this..."

"It wouldn't exactly speak for our judging of characters now, would it?"

"But he's tried to help protecting you from A."

"Pretending to help me so we would trust him and he could get close, learn secrets and really hurt me?"

"Why would he do that?" Aria asks, sounding a lot like the part of Spencer that relies on her heart – oh what she would give to be able to fully believe it!

"Well, Aria, we weren't exactly nice to him, remember? We sent him to prison for something that we did!"

Aria remains silent.

The girls discuss the topic some more before Aria decides that Spencer needs a distraction and drags her to the grill.

The girls sit at the bar, drinking coke and, having decided to drop the topic of Spencer's problems for now, chat about random things.

Spencer, now that she has it all talked off and the weight has lifted off her shoulders, is only all too eager to distract herself and spend a relaxed, fun evening in the company of her friend.

It feels good to forget about her problems for one night.

Hanna and Emily, invited by Aria to "join the party", come in and Hanna immideately upon her entrance and the bar keeper turning her back on them, purrs vodka into their glasses. Normally, Spencer would have protested to drinking on a school night but with all her problems, she thinks it'll do more good than harm and drinks eagerly.

Soon, she lets the warm fuzzyness and the boldness of the alcohol take over, making her not drunk but tipsy, goodmooded and loud. The girls have wandered, with their drinks, to a table in the back where mixing the vodkadrinks won't be detected as easily.

All but Emily, who has planned on staying sober and promised to take them all home, are tipsy and out for fun.

Giggling and and stumbeling ever so slightly, the girls spend some much needed stressfree time and Spencer surprises them all with her willingness to drink and her abandoning her usually strict, composed and reasonable character.

Hours are spent at the grill and it's now Spencer's turn to get new cokes.

"Behave!" Hanna giggles, "Be careful, they can't see you drunk."

Spencer salutates sloppily and slips away, giggling.

The smile is still broad on her lips when Spencer approaches the bar and paitently awaits her turn.

"Four cokes, please!" she adds.

"And they're on me,"says a familiar british accent to Spencer's left. Alcohol having drained away most of her rational side and her fears or precautions, Spencer only smiles even broader when she turns and looks, as expected, into Wren's dark eyes.

"Well, hello there!" she says in her best british accent. Wren smiles at her, almost pitying.

"I'm not very good at talking in that accent, am I?"

"I'm afraid you're right."

"Well," Spencer says, stretching the word dramatically as she bends forward, "Maybe you could teach me."

The influence of the alcohol makes the temptation which is Wren so much stronger, lessens the power of guilt and morals towards Melissa, and mainly Toby, decidedly.

Right now she can't think of anything she'd rather do than to stop fighting the feelings she's been surpressing ever since she met Wren.

"A little tipsy, are we?" he remarks with a broad smirk, clearly liking the influence the vodka has had on her for he also leans forward.

"Well, I had a rough day." She gives him a meaningful look.

"You think meeting me today was rough? Oh, I'm wounded!" confesses Wren in exageration and presses his hand to his heart in a mocking gesture, "I had considered it good chance." He procedes to places his hand softly on her arm.

In a sober state, it would have undoubtedly confused Spencer why he was flirting with her in such an open, unrestricted manner, disregarding all history they shared.

Presently, however, all she can focus on is one thing:

"Say that again in that awesome accent! I could have you talk all night about the most random things just to listen to that!"

Wren laughs.

With all the flirting, the two haven't acknowledged or cared about the time that has passed or the person having approached them - watching them with a shocked, suspicious manner.

***Annnnnd, dare I say it again: Cliffhanger. Damdamdaaaaaaaam! Sorry, I just like keeping you in suspense. So, who could it be? How are you liking tipsy, flirty, careless Spencer? What do you think of Wren and the open flirtiness? Why is he back? You know what comes next: Tell me what you think, people! :) How about leaving me a review? ;) Most of you know just how happy these will make me, so pleaaaaase! :) Anyway, bye for now!**

**Remember to keep reading and reviewing and I'll see you soon, have a good day!**

**Xoxo **

**Layla**

**P.S.: I have now read, a couple of times actually, that authors have put something about underage drinking im their chapters so I'm scared that I'm breaking some rule if I don't, so here it goes: I do not encourage underage drinking but where I am from, you are allowed to buy and drink beer and wine from the age of 16 and everything else from the age of 18. I only remembered that you aren't allowed to do that in America after I finished this chapter and it wouldn't have worked as well without the alcohol so I left it like this.**


	22. Chapter 18

**Proud of me for uploading this fast? I am! ;)**

**Before I begin I want to say that on September first, we reached 80(!) reviews! EIGHTY, people! Can you believe it?! One of my reviewers already experienced my crazy, overexcited joy in this matter. You know who you are! ;) So anyway, I thought it is time for a very big shoutout to all of my readers, reviewers, the people who favourited or followed me or "A long way"! THANK YOU for every single one of you, I love you guys so much for always making my day! I am so grateful to all of you and I'm sorry I don't update so often! I will try to improve! THAAAAAAAAAAANK YOU ALL SO MUCH! Also thanks to the guest reviewers – I can't reply to your reviews personally like I usually do but that doesn't mean I appreciate them any less.**

**And also, this is important: I have another dedication to make, for someone equally to thank for really making my day and cheering me up because of her regular and very kind reviews and PM s: iAmALittleLiar**! **You also ROCK and I really really can't thank you enough! This chapter is for you!**

**Sorry, long note, now here we go!**

Whoever said life is hard...

Spencer and Wren are standing closely together, giggling, his hand on her arm, all of her attention focused on him and a hand on the counter beside her to steady herself.

The sound of someone clearing their throat, though so quiet compared to the mixture of music and chatter around them, draws their attention away from each other and onto a petite dark haired girl with raised dark eyebrows.

**Ha, got'cha! ;)**

"Hey, Aria!" Spencer greets happily.

"Hey Spencer!" Aria doesn't smile. Her eyes are narrowed at her friend and she has nothing but a brief fake smile for Wren.

"You were taking ages with the cokes and Hanna was getting really impatient."

"Oh, that, sorry, it slipped my mind!" Spencer says in a very un-Spencerish sing song voice and errupts in giggles so forceful, she actually starts to stagger. Wren steadies her and keeps his arm around her waist and Spencer leans into him, thankful.

Arias already raised eyebrows wander up even further.

"Spencer, I think we need to get back to the others with our cokes."

Aria stretches out her hands to grab Spencers elbows and one pointed glance at Wren makes him let go and step away.

"Wren can come with us," Spencer exclaims. She liked the way Wrens arm felt around her waist and the smell of his manly cologne.

"No, Wren can't come with us," Aria says determindly and drags Spencer away who waves at Wren, giggling, and whispers "Buzzkill". Aria, very clearly aware of what Spencer just said, rolls her eyes and steadies her friend upon approaching the table.  
>"What happened?" Hanna demands immidiately.<p>

Even though she's clearly had a drink of two too much, she is sober compared to her brunette friend who is currently being forced to sit down by Aria.  
>"I'll take care of the bill for the last cokes. Guys, can you get her into the car? I'll follow you there. She's super trashed!" she adds, nodding at Spencer.<p>

Emily and Hanna nod, step to both sides of Spencer and accompany, or more like drag, her out of the room while Aria turns the other way.  
>The three girls sit in the car, Hanna and Spencer in the back seat, and Emily behind the wheel. Even before Aria has come back, declaring that the bill has been taken care of by Wren – which earns her questioning looks that she placates by saying she'll explain later – Spencer has closed her eyes and fallen asleep, her head soon landing on Hannas lap.<p>

And Emily drives away from the grill.

Emily and Aria both jump when they see a figure sitting on the side walk in front of Spencers house but quickly relax upon seeing who it is.

"Oh shit! He's gonna wanna know what happened to Ms.-Strict-and-Responsible over here!" Hanna mutters which earns her a reproaching look.

Emily is the first one to get out of the car.

"Hey, Toby!" she greets as the young man has now risen to his feet.

"Hey! You don't happen to have Spencer with you, do you?" he asks, worry so very evident on his features which are only illuminated by the faint light of the street lamp a few meters away.

"We do and she's fine, don't worry."

His sigh of relief is audible as hr follows her to the back door where she tries to wake Spencer – without success.

"What happened?" he asks anxiously.

"She got drunk – she's sooo out of it!" Hanna exclaims before either of the other girls can get a word out which earns her another reproachful look. Toby furrows his brow but doesn't comment on the matter.

"Can you get her keys out of her purse? I'll just carry her inside," he finally says and Emily and Aria, who has now exited the car, smile at him gratefully and nod, starting to roam through Spencers purse.

Toby bends over and easily takes his girlfriend up in his arms, her head falling back against his shoulder.

Emily, Aria, Toby and Hanna make their way to the door which Emily unlocks – Toby carries his passed out girlfriend through the silent, dark living room and upstairs into her room. She doesn't wake or even stir.

Placing her on the bed, Toby takes of her shoes and covers her with the blanket.

"I was really worried about her," he says quietly while tucking the blanket around her.

Emily and Hanna leave the room after Aria signalizes to them that she wants to talk to Toby for a second.

"She didn't tell you where she was going to go?"

He merely shakes his head, looking at sleeping Spencer with a thoughtful but tender expression on his face.

"She had a rough day, we took her out to get her mind off things and she got drunk," Aria explains.

Toby nods slowly and bends to kiss Spencers forehead.

"Why are you doing this to me?" Spencer suddenly murmurs in her sleep, turns and goes back to being silent.

Toby looks confused, Aria worried as she peeks at him. Right now, in the way he's standing here watching over Spencer, in the way he was so worried that he waited in front of her house even though they didn't part on good terms, Aria is fairly certain that he's genuinly in love with Spencer and he'd never do anything to hurt her.

Now she just needs to talk to Spencer about it. But then again, there are many things she has to discuss with her friend, she thinks as she places Spencers purse next to her bed and quietly leaves the room with Toby.

The sound of her alarm sounds brutally loud in Spencers ears. It's like a hammer on her skull over and over again – her head is pounding like crazy. She blinks and the light of the room is so painfully blinding that she squeezes her eyes tightly shut and pulls the blanket over her face.

Slowly, she starts to fully wake up and groans loudly because of her headache.

Very carefully, because movement intensifies her headache and causes dizziness, she sits up in bed and blinks, disoriented. She doesn't know where she his but recognizes her room soon enough.

Flickers of memories from last night flood her mind as she presses a hand to her head. How did she get here?

Wrens face shows up in her mind and she flinches as parts of their conversation comes back to her. How embarassing!

Trying to focus despite of her terrible headache, she tries to focus on what is her last memory of last night. She remembers walking to the car with the girls and after that, her mind is blank. Did she fall asleep in the car?

She can't remember the last time she felt this miserable.

Finally digging the source of noice out of her purse, she feels relieved when the alarm is finally switched off though her head is still pounding. She has missed calls from last night. Five from Toby, one from her parents and one – she gulps – from Wren.

Also, she has a two texts, one from Melissa about her holiday and one from Toby. Squinting her eyes to focus, she reads with difficulty:

"Where are you? Are you ok? We need to talk."

Toby – that thought triggers a flood of memories from yesterday. Her suspicions, the way she left him standing in the middle of the street with that comment...

She tries to push these thoughts from her mind.

When she tries to stand up, a wave of dizziness and naucia overwhelms her and she steadies herself on the night stand.

But then, she sprints to the bathroom – making it just in time to the toilet into which she vomits, clutching her stomach.

Afterwards, she slowly stands up and washes out her mouth before shutting the blinds half way.

Taking a look at the mirror, she almost vomits again. She looks horrible.  
>She's still wearing the clothes she wore yesterday and they are now crumpled. Her hair is a tangled mess on her head – closer to resembling a hay stack than it is to resembling hair and her face is ghostly white.<p>

Her eyes are small and swollen, her makeup smudged around her lashes and she has circles under her eyes that are blacker than she ever thought possible.

But the way she looks has nothing on how crappy she feels. Her headache is threatening to kill her and the brightness of the room hurts her eyes.

She wishes she could just go back to bed, make the room as silent and dark as possible and stay in bed but she knows she can't.

"You decided to get drunk so now you have to live with the consequences," she tells herself resolutely and starts getting ready. Taking an aspirin, untangling her hair and taking a shower. Even the sound of the water cascading to the shower floor intesifies her headache and she curses herself for drinking too much last night.

After, she puts on comfortable clothing – which consists of leggings and an oversized pullover - and removes her old makeup. Using a lot of concealer trying to cover up the massive dark circles under her eyes, she makes herself as presentable as she can get and then grabs her bag and a pair of sunglasses along with her aspirin and heads out the door without breakfast – the thought of food alone makes her sick.

She stops aprubtly in the driveway because she suddenly realizes she has no car. Cursing inwardly, sunglasses on her head not being able to shield her enough from the brightness of an early morning, she starts walking.

The physical excersize only makes everything worse and she curses under her breath almost nonstop entire way.

Every car driving by is torture for her head and she dreads the moment she will have to walk into the school building.

By the time Spencer reaches the school, the aspirin and the fresh air have provided some relief for her head but it's still pounding and the combination of medicine and fresh air hasn't been able to help with the naucia or dizziness.

Spencer sees her friends standing in the parking lot and slowly heads over to them, not really looking forward to their reaction.

Hanna spots her first.

"Heeey, Spencer! All the alcohol out of your system by now?" she exclaims as Spencer has reached them.

Spencer flinches and presses a hand to her ear.

"Don't shout, please!" Spencer whispers.

Hanna laughs and even Aria and Emily can't bite back a smile.

"Why didn't you come here by car?" Aria asks.

"Probably doesn't remember where she left it," Hanna teases and Spencer shoots her a glare but then she remembers her blonde friend probably can't see it because of the dark sunglasses that hide her eyes.

Emily sends a reproaching look at Hanna but she can't help the grin on her face.

"Can you blame me for enjoying this?" Hanna says, patting Spencers shoulder, "The unbelievable has happened. Ms Poster-child-and-most-responsible-teenager-ever, a.k.a. Spencer Hastings, has a hangover! On. .Day!"

Hanna continues, clearly enjoying this. It's all Spencer can do not to snap at her.

"Ok, enough, Hanna. Seriously. She already feels like shit," Aria says, then adds: "Now I remember, your car is still at the grill."

Spencer nods, her teeth gritted, a hand pressed to her stomach.

"Let's go inside!" Emily offers and the four girls make their way towards the school entrance.

This day is one of the hardest school days Spencer can remember. The usual noice and business of high school life that she is used to seem like absolute torture to her today. Every slamming of a locker door, every shout of a teacher at younger students to behave, every squeal of a teenage girl around is like another punch with a hammer onto Spencers skull.

After second period already, she has totake another aspirin.

Every person biting into their meals at lunch, the smell of the cafeteria and every piece of food that landed on the floor that her gaze falls on, is another blow to her stomach that makes her think she will throw up any second.

And the worst thing is that Spencer can't just sit in the back row in a corner in class, trying to block out any noice and not minding anything. She promised Mrs. Montgomery that she would participate in class and she knows what will happen if she doesn't. So, with superhuman strenght and discipline, Spencer makes an effort to participate in class.

It doesn't help that she's constantly being teased by Hanna and by the end of the school day her mood really couldn't get any worse.

Aria drops her off by her car and Spencer drives home. When she enters her room, her phone starts ringing.

Tobys name flashes on the display.

Ok, maybe her mood can get worse.

She remembers the missed calls and the text from yesterday and she knows she has to take this but she can't bring herself to do so. One, she doesn't know what to say to him about what she snapped at him for. Two, she doesn't know what to say to him about their meeting with Wren - Wren, she shudders at the thought – and three, she doesn't know how to deal with him without him noticing what kind of suspicions she has.

She sighs and just lets her phone ring despite of the headache the noice intensifies.

After her phone goes to voicemail, Spencer shuts her blinds, closes the door and lies down on her bed, pulling the blanket over her head.

Soon enough, she drifts to sleep.

A continuing, knocking sound wakes Spencer from her dreamless sleep and she grunts at the interruption.

The sound doesn't stop. Irritated, Spencer crawls out of bed, her head pounding and her stomach feeling uneasy.

She walks, slightly disoriented to her room door.

Her mom is standing right in front of her.

"Hi, Spencer, what took you so long to come to the door? And why was is locked anyway?"

Spencer feels like hissing at her mom to be quiet but she catches herself just in time and mutters.

"I fell asleep because I didn't sleep well last night."

Her mom nods.

"I just wanted to let you know that we're back. Did you finish your school work?"

Spencer refrains from rolling her eyes and nods.

"Ok. Well, I will call you when the takeout is here. Chinese ok?"

"I'm not hungry," Spencer says and shuts the door, listening carefully to hear her mother leave before sitting down in front of her desk, determined to do at least what has to be done until tomorrow.

About half an hour later, when Spencer is on her way back from the bathroom, a knock on the slide door causes Spencer to flinch and jump.

Spencer thinks she knows who it is. She's received another text from Toby asking if he can come to her house. She ignored it and now, apparently here he is.

Silently thanking the fact that she isn't in her room, she waits by the door.

She feels really weird and bad for doing this. It feels wrong to ignore her own boyfriend like this, to not trust him, to doubt him. If he did this to her, ignore her without giving her a reason, she would go absolutely crazy, she knows that.

And yet, she can't bring herself to go and meet him at the door because she's in no condition to deal with him right now.

A sad melancholy mixed with guilt fills Spencer as she waits a couple of more seconds and hears her mom call her downstairs for dinner. And she reaches inside her room and switches off the light.

Toby, upon walking away from Spencers house, finds something behind him catching his attention and turns around. And now the light in her room his off. Shaking his head, Toby walks away, thinking to himself:

"I knew it!"

The next day, Spencer feels a lot better, even though her stomach is still uneasy.

The day at school passes in a blur, because she is still deep in thought about Toby but she manages to keep to her promise of participating in class.

Her friends notice there is something wrong but she's decided to share her suspicions only with Aria and so she keeps quiet, explaining only that she's having some trouble with Toby and that she doesn't feel like talking about it.

When Spencer is about to get into her car, Aria stops her.

"We need to talk. I didn't want to say anything yesterday because you were so hungover. And because I wasn't sure I wanted the others to hear our conversation," she starts, apparently set on getting to the point really fast.

"Yes?"

"When we talked about your problem the other day, I thought it was about Tobys way of dealing with your past with Wren. It never occured to me that you might still have unresolved feelings for him!"

Spencer stares at Aria, at a loss for words.

Aria is right, of course, even though Spencer didn't want to admit it.

"I what? I don't have unresolved feelings for Wren," she says, trying to put on a pokerface.

"Of course you do. Don't even try to deny it. You may have been good at fooling us about this in the past but you certainly suck at that when you're drunk. It was all over your face!"

Spencer, once again, remains silent. She doesn't know what to say.

"I just don't know what I'm supposed to do," she finally says. It's hard for her to admit this but she knows that if there is one person who will understand, it's Aria.

Arias face softens now that Spencer stopped denying the truth, knowing how hard it must have been for her friend to ask for help.

"Well, at least you admitted it. But what about Toby?"

"That's the thing! I...I know this sounds weird but if I didn't have these...problems with Toby right now, I don't think my reaction to Wren would have been quite as strong..." She knows that what she is saying doesn't make that much sense.

But she's pretty sure that she was over her feelings for Wren when she fell in love with Toby – or maybe not over the feelings but past them. But what if Toby isn't what he seemed to be? What if all the love was an illusion? Wouldn't that change everything? Because if her love for Toby weren't real, she wouldn't be past her feelings for Wren. Would she?

Aria nods, taking in her friends pained expression.

"Well, I don't think Toby is part of the A-team," she finally says, "I can't help you with the Wren-issue but I'm very sure Toby loves you. And he wouldn't do anything to hurt you. At least that's what I think."

"How are you suddenly so sure?" Spencer asks, curious and suspicious, with her brows furrowed. She wishes she could just believe her friend.

"Well, when you were passed out in the car, we drove you home. And Toby was there, waiting for you because he was worried. He was the one who carried you inside."

This piece of information surprises Spencer. Toby saw her in her drunk state? He was there, he carried her into bed?

He was there at her house in the middle of the night, possibly waiting for hours, worrying about her, even though he should have been pissed at her for snapping at him and just leaving him in the middle of the street?

A part of her warms at that thought and she feels a heavy pang of guilt wash over her. Surely, if he was part of the A-team, he wouldn't do that.

"I wish I could just believe you..." Spencer sighs.

Aria sighs as well.

"I need to get going but...consider what I said, ok? I think you need to talk to Toby – he'll get suspicious! Well, ok, bye, see you!"

Aria waves and walks off and leaves a thoughtful Spencer to get into her car and drive off.

When she gets home, her phone rings once again. Already knowing, and dreading, who's name will be on the display, Spencer sighs. She can't really avoid Toby like this any longer so she picks up her phone.

Arias news are still lingering in the back of her mind and they've planted themselves into her heart, clearly creating hope.

"Hello?" she says as neutrally as she can manage.

"Spencer," is all Toby says. For the number of times he's called and texted her in the last couple of days, she would have expected a little more emotion – or at least a few more words. Then it dawns on her:

Toby was worried about her but now that he knows she was fine, he was getting pretty pissed at her for acting the way she had – she knows how much he despises dishonesty. She didn't give him a reason for snapping at him or ignoring him and now he's angry.

Despite herself, Spencer feels a strange mixture of guilt, uneasyness and worry at the obvious coolness of his voice and the lack of words.

**Sorry, guys, I know this is sort of a filler chapter but at least it's long and these things had to be said...and also, it was a VERY fast update, so you're welcome! ;) Not my best chapter, I know. Sorry! **

**IMPORTANT: The next chapter is a all authors note, people, but PLEASE read it and PLEASE PLEASE respond to it. That would make me really happy!**

**Thx for reading, have a great day!**

**Layla**

**P.S.: Can we hit the 90-review-mark this time? You have no idea how happy that'd make me!**


	23. Authors note!

**Hey guys! Sorry, this is not a new chapter but I already posted a chapter within two days, be proud of me! :) And please humor me and read this!**

**I always told you that I would like to include my readers into creating a long way and so, I have two suggestions and I really want to know what you guys think! Please let me know!**

**1) Do you guys want me to put song suggestions in the chapters? I could put one at the beginning of each following chapter that i think fits it and you ciould listen while reading to emphasize the mood? i tried it with another story and it was amazing to see the mood intensified, especially in emotional chapters! What do you think? Just let me know – majority decides. BTW, for the last chapter it would have been...DUH, Hangover by taio cruz ;)who would have thought? :)**

**Which gets me to nummber 2:**

**2) I realized just now that you can put a picture to your story, a cover picture or whatever you want to call it. And I suck at picking good pictures so I was thinking if you want, you could help me pick out a cover picture for "a long way" - some people even know how to put the title onto the picture which would be absolutely awesome! The person who presented the pic I will end up using as cover picture will get a chapter dedicated to them! Just PM me and I will send you my emailadress so you can send me the pic or a link to it!**

**Ok, PLEASE guys, let me know what you think on both aspects!**

**Thanks for now, keep reading and reviewing!**

**Have a great fantastic day!**

**Layla**


	24. Chapter 19

**Sorry it's been this long but I've been sick and also very crazy busy! I didn't get that many reviews for the last chapter either and so I wasn't so motivated to squeeze writing time into my schedule. I'm sorry for those who like reading this story and review and here is the new chapter. Also, merry christmas (belatedly) and a Happy New Year, my dear readers!**

19. Distance makes the heart grow fonder – or so they say

(play "talking to the moon")

"Hi..." Spencer says after a few seconds of uncomfortable silence between the two of them. She doesn't know what to say but she knows for a fact that Toby wants her to start explaining herself right now. Only that she has no intention of doing that any time soon.

And while receiving that recent proof for Tobys affection for her from Aria has made her question her suspicions a little, Spencer still feels the looming presence of the secret he's keeping from her over them.

Toby is still waiting; she can hear his even breathing through the phone as her heart starts to pick up speed.

"Toby, why are you calling?" she asks after what feels like an eternity. She knows, of course, why he's calling but she needs him to say something. Toactually pronounce the words that hang over them at the moment.

At first she thinks he's not going to answer her question but finally, he sighs.

"You've been ignoring me and said some weird things on that street after we ran into _Dr. Kingston_," his voice gets decidedly colder at the mention of Wren's name even though it was already pretty cool before, "What's going on, Spencer?"

Now it's Spencers turn to stay quiet. She doesn't know what she wanted, exactly. She thought that hearing him say it would magically lead to her knowing what to say. That, however, isn't the case, she realizes.

"I, uh...I got pretty mad at you for the way you treated Wren," she says finally, just to say something. She immidiately regrets her words because they bring up a subject she really doesn't want to be discussing with him.

"There was obviously something going on between the two of you and you are keeping whatever it is a secret from me."

At this accusation, something inside of Spencer boils over. Sudden rage and fury sweeps over her as she hears those words.

_"I_ am keeping a secret from _you_?" she hisses, incrediously.

"Obviously," he states, his voice calm and collected which somehow makes Spencer even angrier.

"Seriously?! YOU are obviously the one keeping a secret."

"Is that why you've been ignoring me instead of just talking to me about it?" Now she can hear the anger in his voice.  
>Good, she thinks to herself.<p>

"Yeah, I thought it was time for you to do the talking," she hisses.

"How was I supposed to say anything when you kept ignoring me?"

"Maybe you should have thought about that sooner!" Her voice is ice cold and she tries to get a grip. Despite of all the pentup anger she's feeling, she can't let this go out of hand. After all, she could still be wrong. She takes a deep breath.

Toby also seems to have calmed himself down because at his next question, his voice sounds even and calm:

"Are you going to keep ignoring me?"

"Are you going to keep keeping things from me?" Her voice isn't cold or mean, it suddenly sounds exhausted. This wall she feels building up between them, not being able to talk to him even though he is technically right there, is more painful and exhausting than she would have thought. She suddenly feels empty, drained.

In the silence that follows her question, she knows the answer he doesn't say out loud. The hollow, empty feeling inside her keeps spreading. Suddenly it feels like there is a huge wall between her and her boyfriend. A wall of suspicions, secrets, mistrust and mean words. She's never felt like this with Toby before. Sure, they have fought before but now it feels different.

She's never felt this alone while talking to him.

"Alright, then I guess..." She meant to say something like "So I guess that's it" but she can't bring herself to do so.

Toby seems to know what she means.

"Yeah," he says quietly.

His voice sounds exhausted, too. Spencer grips her phone tightly in both of her hands. A big part of her wants him to say something, anything. She wants him to tell her that he loves her and that he misses her. She wants him to say what his secret is – and it not to be that he's joined the A-team.

Because she misses him. Without him in it, her life seems to be that much harder. And she so badly wants to tell him she misses him but she can't – her suspicions are holding her back.

All the drama is exhausting and draining and now her safe place to land isn't there anymore when she would have needed it the most.

If he told her he missed her right now, she'd say it back. But there's only silence at the other end of the line and with every passing seconds, Spencer grabs the phone more tightly and the feeling of helplessness overwhelms her. Sadness takes over her heart. Maybe he just doesn't miss her.

She knows she should hang up but she can't – something is holding her back. And he doesn't hang up either for what seems like minutes.

"Goodnight, Spencer!" Toby finally says.

"Goodnight," she whispers before hanging up, leaning her head against the window and letting the single teardrop slide down her cheek.

(play Stand by Rascall Flats)

The next day at school is as bad as the two previous ones for Spencer. Focusing and participating in class isn't any easier now than it was with that nasty hangover she had.

Her thoughts keep flickering back to Toby and their phone conversation from last night. Where does it leave them?

They haven't fought like this before. Never. They've never been not talking for days exept for when he broke up with her. Are they broken up?

At lunch, Emily unfortunately comes up with the dreaded topic.

"I talked to Toby yesterday. He was pretty upset. Apparently, you've been ignoring him," she says.

Spencer flinches and Aria gives her a sympathetic look.

"So, were you?" Emily asks after a few seconds of silence when she realizes Spencer isn't gonna say anything about this.

"Yes."

"Why?" Emily asks, getting impatient, "He said you didn't say."

"Did he now?" Spencer says, quietly, lowering her head. She doesn't want to talk about this topic to the girls. Aria knowing is more than enough. The more people know, the more official and real this seems.

"So, why, Spencer?"

"He was being rude to Wren when we met him in the street."

Silence follows after that.

Spencer, feeling like she's in an intorrigation, stares at Emily, challenging her to make up some kind of excuse for Toby like Aria had.

"Well, don't you think you'd be rude to the person you know your boyfriend has feelings for?"

"Excuse me?" Spencer asks, confused.

"Yeah. By the way, I'm still here and I don't understand this entire thing. Spencer has feelings for Wren? And since when is Toby the type to share his feelings?" Hanna pipes in.

"Since he turned helpless," Emily replies curtly and turns back to Spencer who's looking down now, picking at her nails.

"I know you have feelings for Wren. I saw you with him."

"Spencer has feelings for Wren?" Hanna asks, "Why am I always the last to know about everything?"

Spencer lets out a deep sigh.

"Emily, come on, this is hard enough on her," Aria tries to reason with her friend. She knows how difficult all of this is for Spencer.

Emily, though, is clearly getting angry.

"Don't you think it's harder on Toby? After all, he sees that his girlfriend has feelings for someone else and then she just avoids him without giving him a real reason? Don't you think that's unfair? Don't you think he deserves better?" She rants.

Spencers head snaps up and she can feel the fury boiling again.

"Do I think a possible member of the A-team deserves better than this?!" she half shrieks and only Hannas and Arias hushed combined whispers make her remember her surroundings.

"Come again?" Emily is staring at her with wide eyes.

"She has...has reason to suspect that Toby is part of the A-team," Aria explains in a whisper.

She is met by baffled and complete silence.

"No way!" Hanna exclaims after more than 2 minutes.

"Why would you think that? This is crazy!"

Spencer sighs and starts explaining to them what she's already told Aria.

"No. That can't be true. You must be mistaken," Emily says, her dark eyes wide as she twirls a strand of her hair around her finger.

"This is Toby we're talking about, Spencer," Hanna says, her tone somewhat accusing.

"Don't you think I know that? Do you think I like talking about my own boyfriend like that?" Spencer hisses and she wishes she could just storm off like a hormonal teenage drama queen. But of course she doesn't because that would be ridiculous.

She's so exhausted, so done with all the drama.

Silence settles over the four girls.

"I still don't believe Toby has anything to do with A," Emily says after a while.

"Neither do I," Aria and Hanna say in unison.

Spencer sighs. How much she would give just to be able to believe them and leave any doubts behind her.

Toby loves her – he can't be that good of an actor. Can he?

She's so very much in love with him – can her judgement of character be that poor? It can't, can it?

After all they've been through together, after all he did for her...

Deep down, Spencer is unable to believe that Toby is part of the A-team but she can't let herself be too weak.

"Neither do I," she says, sighing, "But how what about the fact that he was the only one who knew I was grounded and I still got a text from A about it?"

"Spencer, how many times has A known things that we thought only we knew about? How many times have they known more than us?" Hanna argues.

Spencer has to agree with that and she also wants to but there's still...

"What about the phone calls?"

"I don't know what they're about but I do know that if he was a part of the A-team, he wouldn't be so stupid as to talk with A on the phone when he knows you can walk in any second," Hanna continues.

Spencer sees the reasoning behind this as well.

Still, despite of the fact that deep down she doesn't think he could be this mean to her, some little doubts remain; the skepitcal part of her brain refuses to shut up.

"And don't forget the main argument against Toby being A," Aria whispers softly.

"Toby loves you more than anything, Spencer, he wouldn't do this to you," Emily continues in an equally soft voice.

"We all know that. We see you guys together. It's almost sickening," Hanna jokes, trying to brighten the mood and it works; Spencer chuckles.

Even though she would never admit it, her friends assurances mean a great deal to Spencer. She has never really and truly believed Toby to be guilty in this case. And her friends confirmed her in that believe.

There are still nagging suspicions about those phone calls he was so secretive about but right now, she's almost certain that there has to be another explanation for couldn't and wouldn't do this to her.

At that moment, the bell rings and the four friends make their way to class.

This afternoon, while Spencer sits leaning over her homework, peeking at her phone every five minutes, it is impossible for her to focus on the work she technically really has to do. The conversation with her friends this morning has changed something.

Yes, there are still suspicions but her conviction that Toby would never do something like that to her has become stronger.

Yes, she still finds herself going crazy over the question what he is keeping from her and why, but she had become more convinced that this is once again A playing a trick on her. As usual.

But what is Toby keeping from her? And why?

Suddenly, her phone rings and Spencer hastily grabs for it, hoping it might be Toby since she is now determinded to sort things out with him.

But she won't call him herself; she has some pride. She needs to tell her about what he's hiding. Or at least make an effort to console her.

But it's not Toby calling. Instead, the name on the screen takes Spencer's breath away for an entirely different reason.

It's Wren.

(Now play "Dirty little secret" by The All American Rejects)

She should have known he was going to call at some time – he did send her two texts since the day she flirted with him at the bar. Nonetheless, seeing his name on the screen sends a wave of surprise and shock over her and her heart begins to race.

Maybe she needs to sort things out once and for all with Wren before she can thoroughly face the Toby-issue.

With that determination, Spencer picks up the phone.

"Hey!"

"Spencer, finally! I thought you'd fallen off the face of the earth," Wren greets her in his familiar british accent, his voice sounding generally happy to hear from her. She's happy and guilty about that at once.

"No, sorry...I was just busy," she replies, already knowing that it is the lamest excuse ever.

"Ouch!" he chuckles.

"No, seriously. I, um, have some trouble at school and then that hangover."

Unlike herself, Spencer blushes at the mention of the hangover; the thought of the way she acted towards him still fresh in her memory.

Wren chuckles again.

"Right, makes sense. You were pretty pissed that day."

"Pissed?"

"Drunk."

"Right, yeah, I was," she mumbles awkwardly.

In the silence that follows, she suddenly remembers past the giddy feeling in her stomach what she actually wanted to say to him.

"Um, Wren, there...is actually..." She doesn't know how to continue.

"I want to see you," he suddenly states bluntly and Spencer, though she startles with surprise at first, blushes with pleasure.

"I think it would be good if we could meet," she agrees. Toby's image flashes in her mind and her concience is telling her what she knows very well deep down: that she shouldn't meet Wren because she knows it can't end well.

"You need to sort things out with Wren once and for all. You need to see him and find out why he is back. You just tell him that you're taken and that he shouldn't flirt with you anymore," one side of her brain argues.

"That's what I will do. And that's all," she tells herself, throwing all of her brain's and her friends warning aside.

"When and where? Do you have time today?" he asks.

"I need to do some work but I have a little bit of time, yes. You could come to my house. My parents are at work 'till late and Melissa is on holiday."

"Ok," he replied even though he sounds a little hesistant.

"When?" she asks to distract him from it.

"In an hour?"

"Yeah, sure," she replies.

After that, determined to at least get some work done before Wren will come over, Spencer turns her phone on silent.

55 Minutes later, the doorbell rings and Spencer almost shoots up from her chair. After a last glance in the mirror and quickly fixing her hair, Spencer hurries down to open the door. There he is, Wren, with a boquet of flower in his hands and his charming grin on his face.

"Spencer, great to see you!"

Spencer is nervous and speechless as Wren passes her the flowers and kisses her on the cheek, lingering a little longer than what is customary. Upon noticing this, Spencer feels guilty.

"Toby never brings me flowers!" she could almost imagine this voice in her head as a little devil on her shoulder.

"He does other, much sweeter things for me," another part argues. She feels kind of ridiculous and shakes her head to get rid of these weird thoughts.

"Thank you," she says and gestures for him to come in before putting the flowers in a vase and leading him up the stairs to her room where she puts the vase on the desk. She can't very well leave them downstairs.

What would she say if her parents ask who they're from?

Melissa's ex-fiance whom she broke up with because he was kissing her, Spencer. Spencer knew that it was wrong for him to be here. In her house, in her room. It felt especially cosy and forbidden since it was already dark outside.

Because it feels really hot in the room all of a sudden, Spencer opens the slide door by a few inches before turning to Wren.

"So..." she begins. Wren is standing quite close to her and it's making her nervous. There is a part of her that wants him to step closer and there is one that wants him to step away.

She needs to remember what he is here for.

"So," she says again, not knowing how to begin that conversation.

Wren smiles, seemingly at ease in the way he's leaning against the desk.

"What did you want to tell me?"

"Why did you move here?" she blurts out.

"I was going to come to that later, Spencer."

Pushing this weird and worrying reply to the back of her mind, she continues, eager to get over all of what she wanted to say.

"But I don't understand. Melissa is here. My parents are here. Why would you come back and move here?"

"You are here," he says very softly in his irresistable british accent and Spencer's heart stops. Her eyes widen. She can't believe what he just said, what he was implying.

He moved here to be near her even though her parents lived here, and Melissa?

Wow.

"I can't stop thinking about our connection, Spencer. About the kiss. We had something special. And I know you feel that as well."

This was one of the rare situations in Spencer's life where she was rendered absolutely speechless. Her heart was racing, her cheeks were burning, she felt short of air. She was in way over her head. It was coming at her too fast. She didn't know what to do.

No idea how to handle this situation.

With what he said she is suddenly transported back to being the little girl hopelessly crushing on her older sister's fiance. She's back to being excited when he looks at her or talks to her in a way that shows he treats her as the adult she is. Back to listening to him fight with her sister with a pounding heart.

Back to hoping more than anything that what she sees between them, that he sees it, too. That it really is a special connection.

There is a part of her that wants to close the distance between them, tell him this is all she ever wanted to hear ever since she first met him, and kiss him.

But she's dating Toby. She loves Toby, she's certain about that. No matter how difficult things are between them right now, she knows their love is strong enough. Toby has been with her through everything, he's her rock. Her love.

She can't and won't betray him like this. It's not fair and she doesn't even want to because she loves him.

But Wren is stepping closer and closer to the brunette who's staring at him with wide, helpless brown eyes.

His cologne, bringing back the memorys of them and the feelings she had around him, stops her from thinking straight, from making the final decision to step away from him.

Wren is now centimeters away from her, a small smile on his lips. She can see the anxciousness in his eyes, the questions there, the feelings.

She wants to tell him he should stop, that she has a boyfriend she's not going to betray but she can't seem to open her mouth. There's not enough air for her lungs.

"Wren, we can't." She finally manages to croak out. Even though she knows he heard her, he doesn't step away.

"She said stop!" A menacing, cold voice says beside them suddenly. A very familiar voice that Spencer has never heard this threatening before. It sounds dangerously calm. Everything seems to happen too fast all of a sudden.

"Toby!"

**I'm MIA for ages and then I'm doing this to you guys again. Sorry about that...not really ;) I like leaving you (and myself kind of) with cliffhangers. I really hope with this chapter I can get some REVIEWS out of you, that would be awesome. I just turned 18 and it was christmas so PLEASE leave me a review as a present? Hehe :) You can't say that this chapter was boring now, can you? Did you expect this? Did you think it was smart of Spencer to invite Wren to her house? What do you think of Wren's confession and Spencer's feelings towards him? And if you could talk to Toby right now, what would you tell him? Seriously, please tell me what you think!**

**Thanks for reading and reviewing!**

**Xxx**

**Layla **


	25. Chapter 20

**20. Collision**

**(Play "Supermassive Black Hole" by Muse) – yeah I know, a little twilight here but I thought it kind of fit the situation - see for yourself!)**

Spencer is in such a rush to step away from Wren that she almost trips over her own two feet in the hasty steps backwards. Wren turns, surprised at the interruption and looks at Spencer's boyfriend who's pushed the slide door wide open as he burst into the room. From the stony expression on his face Spencer can tell he's barely keeping it together; his fists are clenched, his stance showing he's ready to fight and his lips pressed together into a thin line. The steady glare of his steely blue eyes is fixed on Wren and he doesn't seem to see anything else.

Spencer who's gripped the desk in order to steady herself feels frozen in place as she watches the scene unfolding before her with wide brown eyes. Wren takes a deep breath in and stands up straighter, apparently trying to make up for his disadvantage in height.

She can't believe this is really happening; she can't believe these two grown men seem to be about to get into a full-blown fist fight over her like they're in some ridiculous romantic comedy, but one look into Toby's face tells her that her usually calm and even-tempered boyfriend is only one wrong word or move away from remodeling Wren's face.

Suddenly, she's a bit worried for Wren's safety. Toby who does manual labor every day and whose muscles she's seen with her own two eyes would have no problem knocking his opponent out cold who's not at all made for a bare fight of strength like this.

The silence stretches out and only magnifies the tension in the air; Spencer doesn't even dare to breathe as the two look at each other and she stands by, unsure of what to do.

"You have bad timing, mate!" Wren suddenly breaks the silence and if Spencer weren't so afraid and tense she would have liked to face-palm at this; doesn't Wren realize how much danger he is in and how close he is to getting his ass kicked? Does he not realize the vein pulsing in Toby's neck and the coldness in his eyes? Doesn't he know he wouldn't stand a chance?

She's always considered Wren to be a smart guy but apparently all his male ego and pride don't allow him to do what would be best for him. Stupid testosterone!

"I think you have far bigger problems right now." Toby doesn't raise his voice, he barely moves a muscle while he talks but his voice is the most threatening Spencer's ever heard it. She knows he wouldn't harm her but if she were Wren she'd have run for the hills by now.

"If I were you I'd step away from her right now," her boyfriend continues.

Spencer prays that Wren is smart enough to follow this order but from the way the dark-haired doctor crosses his arms over his chest, she soon loses hope.

"She didn't seem to mind my proximity earlier."

Spencer openly gapes at her sister's ex-fiancé upon hearing these words leave his lips, not being able to believe his stupidity. Finally, her limbs seem to unfreeze and she hastily steps in between the two men. The tension in the air is so thick it seems to be pressing down on her chest in which her heart is pumping adrenaline through her veins in worrying speed. Unsure of which way to turn, she stands sideways and looks back and forth from one to the other.

"Spencer, step away," Toby says without even looking away from Wren's face, his voice calm enough on the surface but boiling with rage underneath. Spencer shakes her head; she will not let them get into a fight about her - especially not in here. She makes a mental note to slap herself later for inviting Wren into this house and leaving the slide door open.

"No," she says when neither of them seems to have even noticed her disobeying the order.

"Seriously, Spencer, get out of the way," Wren says and Spencer almost feels like laughing out loud over the fact that they're actually agreeing about this while at the same time standing here and fantasizing about ripping the other's head off. Yet, they still want her to calmly watch from somewhere far away.

"No," she repeats, heart racing, breath shallow and sounding less strong and determined than she would have wished.

"Don't talk to her!" Toby orders and takes a little step forward which makes Spencer turn his way. She looks at him with pleading eyes, begging for him to come to his senses and not get into this, hoping against hope that he will see reason.

"Toby, please, stop it!" Toby doesn't even look at her.

"She's right, you know. Punching me won't make her lose the feelings she has for me and fly back into your arms," Wren says with a smug tone in his voice that sits unwell with Spencer so she turns around to glare at him.

Toby takes this opportunity and gently but determinedly grabs her shoulders and pushes her to sit on the bed before he takes two big strides and with a thud pushes Wren against the wall, holding him by the collar of his white dress shirt.

"Toby!" Spencer gasps and covers her mouth, completely overwhelmed and helpless in the situation as she doesn't know what to do to prevent the inevitable from happening. She has a feeling approaching Toby from behind right now isn't a smart idea – hopefully Wren will get it and shut the hell up.

"I think you should stop talking now, _mate_!" Toby says menacingly, almost spitting out the last word in disgust as he mocks Wren's manner of speech.

"Must sting to see your girlfriend want to kiss someone else, I understand. But just accept it; she can't help who she's in love with."

Hearing these words, Spencer almost wants to push Toby out of the way so she can punch Wren herself. How dare he?! All worry she's had about him lessens considerably as she sees the cocky look he has on his face in an attempt to cover his fear.

Toby suddenly lets go of Wren's collar and Spencer breathes a huge sigh of relief as he turns around but stops mid-exhale when she sees the expression on his face. Then everything seems to happen in slow motion like in an action movie:

She sees Toby's clenched right fist rising as he turns on his feet and slams it straight into Wren's face, the sound of his fist colliding with Wren's eye and nose magnified at least ten times in her head.

"Toby!" she shrieks while Wren crumples to the ground and groans in pain.

"That was for making a move on my girlfriend," Toby almost growls and bends forward while Wren attempts to push himself up to his feet again.

When he's succeeded, trying to hide the pain he's feeling, Toby's fist hits his face a second time and he falls against her desk with a horrifying crash and stays cowered together next to it on the floor.

"And that was for the bullshit that just came out of your mouth."

With these words Toby turns and walks out of the slide door without a second glance while Spencer, still unable to breathe and trembling, covering her mouth with both hands, stares after him. What in god's name has just happened here?

**(Play "Cry me a river" by Justin Timberlake)**

Wren lets out another groan and Spencer rushes forward, bending down next to the young doctor and gently prying his hands off his face, gasping when she gets a full view of the damage Toby's punch caused; blood is already coming out of his nose and she knows his eye which he's squeezing shut will turn into a massive bruise.

Wren whimpers in pain when she tries to get him to sit upright so she can examine the damage properly.

"Come on, Wren, you need to sit up. Let me look at it!" Her voice sounds breathless, panicked and high-pitched as she helps him sit up. Wren presses his hand to his left eye and peers at her from the other one.

"Wren, what were you thinking?!" she admonishes while she grabs a tissue and gently wipes the blood off the parts of his face.

"You…," he mumbles incoherently before his eyes droop shut and he sinks against the desk unconsciously.

"Oh god, he just fainted!" is Spencer's first, terrified thought when the sound of his head crashing against the desk resonates in her head once again but she doesn't allow herself to panic and stays bent over the young man while trying to recollect what she learned in the first-aid-course she visited.

Gathering all her power and the adrenaline still coursing through her veins makes it easier than expected to drag Wren over to the bed, roll him onto the comforter she's spread out and put a pillow under his head.

She hurriedly rushes out of the room, gets a wash cloth drenched in ice cold water and puts it on his head before, unable to sit still even for a second, busying herself with wiping blood and then cleaning up all the damage the commotion caused in her room while glancing at Wren's body every two seconds. She is so confused that it takes her two minutes until she realizes that what she's trying to put into her pencil case isn't her pen but her hair brush.

Every second that ticks by with no sign of Wren waking up makes her more jumpy and nervous and makes her rethink her decision to not call 911.

Suddenly she can hear key's jingling and the front door opening downstairs and the panic finally grips her. What is she supposed to do? Nobody can come into her room! What would happen if her parents came in and saw her sister's ex-fiancé in her room, lying knocked out on the floor with blood on his face and staining his shirt?

She needs to keep them out at all costs!

"Spencer, I'm home!" Veronica Hastings calls. Spencer takes a deep breath while she rushes over to the door and makes sure to lock it, while trying to make her voice sound as calm and normal as possible.

"I'm in my room!"

"Great, a dying squirrel could have done better than that," she thinks sarcastically to herself at the unconvincing tone of her own voice while she bolts to her desk and pretends to be sitting there and doing work before she remembers that she can't have her mom come in anyway.

But because it is her lucky day, soon after the sound of her mother knocking is audible.

"Can you let me in for a second?"

"No!" Spencer calls out in a panic. She clears her throat.

"No, I'm…uh…naked!"

She immediately hits herself in the head after she finishes the sentence.

"Well, can you get dressed and let me in because I wanted to talk to you about something."

Spencer looks hurriedly around the room while she frantically searches for an answer.

"Sorry, I can't. I have so much work to do, you know. For school."

"You're doing your work naked?!" her mother asks from outside the door, suspicion in her voice.

"Uh, yes, it's…um, a…it's biology!" Spencer almost groans when she listens to herself and buries her face in the mattrace. What the hell is she doing?!

"Okay, Spencer, are you alright?"

"Sure, mom, just stressed!"

Unfortunately, Wren decides to groan right at this moment and her mother's voice is audible once again:

"Are you alright, Spencer? I think I just heard something!"

"I'm ok, I just…poked myself with the pen. Ouch!"

"Alllriiiiiight…," her mom mumbles and Spencer waits until she hears her steps on the stairs before rushing over to Wren's side. His eyelids are fluttering and she breathes a huge sigh of relief when she looks at him. He groans again and presses a hand to his head.

"Ouch…Where am I?"

"Don't freak out, you're in my room on the floor by the bed because you got into a fight with my boyfriend and he kind of knocked you out and you fell against my deck. And then you fainted and I got really nervous and I dragged you here and I panicked and my mom almost saw you and…" she begins to ramble.

"Spencer, shh, please! My head hurts!"

"Oh, yes, sorry. But do you need anything?"

"Glass of water would be nice, thank you," he mumbles almost incoherently and closes his eyes. Spencer rushes to the bathroom to prepare it for him and finds Wren the way she left him when she returns, only that he is groaning in pain again.

After about half an hour of trying her best to take care of the wounded doctor she hears her mother calling up about dinner and she gives him an apologetic smile when he mutters that that was his cue to leave.

Spencer fiddles with her hands for a moment, unsure of how to talk to him about the thing she's been thinking about for the last twenty minutes after the shock wore off.

"What are you going to do about it?"

"About what?" he replies, his voice strained as he tries to push herself up and unsteadily stands to his feet. Unsure of what else to do, she steps closer and holds on to him to keep him on his feet because he's swaying dangerously.

"About, um,…about Toby."

"I'm going to press charges of course," he shrugs like he hasn't just almost given her a heart attack.

"What? No, no…you can't!" she almost shrieks and only lowers her voice with difficulty when she sees him flinch at the sound and remembers her mother downstairs, "Please don't!"

The thought fills her with dread; Toby, who's already in enough trouble with the authorities as it is (no matter how unjustified this might be), cannot risk anything more, especially not violence against a respected young man like Doctor Wren Kingston. Panic grips her at the thought of Toby being arrested and thrown into jail, the town judging even more, the consequences that would have for his life.

"What do you mean I can't, Spencer? He just gave me a concussion and he punched me in the face repeatedly."

"Twice," she corrects as if that would make a distance.

He gives her a look.

"But please, Wren, you…he…he would be in so much trouble."

"Maybe he should have thought about that before he attacked me." Wren's voice is as hard as his voice is and Spencer feels herself begin to really fear for her boyfriend. She NEEDS to convince Wren not to do this!

"Wren, come on, he wasn't thinking straight…how would you feel if you found the person you love the way he found me with you?" She blushes at the mention of this event that the following events had managed to push out of her mind for the time being.

"If you were my girlfriend…" Wren's gaze is so steady and hypnotizing she has to look away as he raises his hands and gently strokes her cheek. She can't seem to move.

"Please, Wren, please don't press charges…he…I…" Despite herself she feels her eyes getting teary, the tension of the last hour being too much for her. Wren's expression softens considerably.

"Ok, I'll think about it…," he finally gives in.

"Thank you so much, Wren!" Without thinking she hugs him in glee but steps back immediately when he groans, "Oh god, so sorry, are you ok?"

He smiles and nods.

"Thank you, Wren, you don't know how much this means to me."

After she's snuck out of the house in order to drive Wren home, had an awkward goodbye from him and made him promise to update her on his health regularly and call when it's getting worse, she has dinner with her mother who keeps eyeing her skeptically but doesn't say a thing.

Back in her room, Spencer sits on her bed and takes a deep breath.

Her head reeling with the events of this day, Wren coming here, the almost-kiss, the fight of course, but also the unexpected bomb shell he dropped on her: that he moved back here because of her, she really doesn't know how to feel about any of it. Add to that the possibility of Wren pressing charges against her boyfriend and she was about ready to really freak out.

She knows how she feels about violence in general but this is different. She's not like one of those girls who secretly loves two guys fighting over her but Toby's raw fighting proved more than any words could his affection for her and she can't help but be somewhat thankful for that.

Nevertheless she's not happy about the violence she's seen him display and feels very conflicted about the incident.

Also, none of that means that they're resolved their issues, if anything, this has made things a lot worse than they already were. Nevertheless, it has shown her that she needs to sort out her issues with him.

So, taking another deep breath and straightening her shirt she picks up her phone and sends him a text that asks him to please come over as soon as he can.

About half an hour of anxious pacing and thinking about the things she could possibly say, there's a quiet knock on the slide door and Spencer lets Toby inside the room.

**(Play "Don't speak" – the Glee version if you can, because that's what I listened to)**

"Hi," she greets awkwardly, fidgeting with her hands. Toby looks about as agitated as she feels, his clothes are rumpled and his hair looks like he's run his hand through it too many times.

"Hi."

"Sit down, please," she says and pats the bed, "We need to talk about a few things."

He nods in silent agreement and does as he was told.

Suddenly, she doesn't quite know how to start.

He breaks the silence by clearing his throat.

"What was he doing here, Spencer?"

This is of course one of the questions she expected; but that doesn't make it any easier to answer.

"Well, he called me, asking if we could meet because we had some things to sort out. And so I thought we should probably get it out of the way."

"Hhmm," Toby mutters. Nothing more.

Suddenly he looks up and the can see all the emotions in his eyes as clear as day; anger, pain, guilt, hurt, sadness and even fear. It tugs at her heart and she almost forgets that she was angry at him for trying to solve his problems with violence and getting himself into so much trouble. Guilt washes over her for the way she's been treating him in the last weeks.

"What I saw didn't look like talking to me, Spencer!" he suddenly bursts out and she flinches, not from the tone of his voice but from the pain behind his words and from the guilt she feels about the situation he's found her in with Wren.

"Me and Wren…there were some things in the past between us and I guess he got caught up in the moment…but I wasn't going to kiss him, Toby," she says with conviction and look straight into his light blue eyes from which the anger has faded, "I told him to stop."

He nods very slowly and she can tell that he isn't entirely convinced but decided to give it a rest for now. She takes another much-needed deep breath.

"What did you even come here for earlier in the first place?" she asks, trying her best not to sound mean but mainly curious.

"I thought we needed to talk about all of this because it really can't go on like this." At these words, her breath hitches with sudden fear that he's going to "talk", as in: break up with her.

But the words also remind her that today was merely a complication and that the actual problem is still what it was before everything got messed up for a moment.

"You are hiding something from me," she states. It's not a question or an accusation, it's just a plain and simple fact but the way he lowers his head and looks away from her tells her that she's right.

"So are you, Spencer," he replies. She can't deny it either and now it's her turn to look down.

The room falls silent for a few moments.

"What are we going to do about it?" she finally asks with a trembling voice.

He remains silent and seems to think about his answer.

"I don't know. But not talking to you is really bad for me," he admits quietly and Spencer's heart melts before starting to beat really fast with joy. Even though he hasn't explained anything, this was somehow exactly what she wanted him to say.

The suspicions are still in the back of her mind but her conversation with her friends, especially Aria, Toby's reaction today and the general trust she has in him have lessened them considerably. And she's missed him like crazy these last days.

"For me, too," she whispers.

After another two minutes of silence, she continues:

"But what are we going to do? Neither of us seems to want to talk about the secrets and then we still have Wren to deal with?"

At the mention of Wren's name Toby immediately clenches his jaw.

"What about him?"

"He's thinking about pressing charges against you, Toby, and you'd get in serious trouble if he does. You know, the police isn't really your biggest fan and if you were to go to jail I can't even think about what the creepy old pimps and bank robbers would do to you and…" she rambles, unable to stop herself.

"Spencer."

"…and I wouldn't be able to see you. They'd hurt you and I couldn't do anything and also you'd have to live in super crappy conditions and you…"

"Spencer!" he says, louder this time and presses his hand against her lips to shut her up. Spencer feels her face heating up as she realizes the surreal situation of him calming her down even though he's the one that would have to go to jail.

"I'll be fine," he smiles and she almost kisses him the second she sees that smile she's missed so much. When he lowers his hand however she realizes the scratches on the knuckles of his right hand.

"What happened to your hand?"

"I might have punched the wall after I left you with him," he admits.

"One second, I'll take care of this!" She goes to the bathroom to get the first aid kid back out and brings it to him, gently taking his hand into her, silently reveling in the feeling of his calloused hands in hers again, where they belong. In the silence she disinfects his hand and wraps a bandage around it, she notices the change in her own emotions.

All the anger she's had towards him has long since disappeared and all there's left is worry, love and longing. They haven't resolved any of their problems but all she wants is to bury her head in his chest and breathe freely for the first time in what feels like ages.

When she looks up from her work, he's looking at her like he's having similar feelings. They look into each other's eyes and all their differences seem to evaporate into thin air when pure loves takes their place.

She feels her heart beat pick up speed with joy and the butterflies in her stomach begin to resurface from the Toby-absence-slumber they seem to have had when he slowly leans closer. When her lips are only inches from his, she closes her eyes in anticipation as she feels his warm breath fan her face.

About half a second before their lips would meet in the sweet kiss Spencer wants, needs and expects, the sudden ringing of her cellphone makes them both jump away from each other. When they both look down to the display lying between them, his hands tense around hers at the name flashing across it:

"Wren Kingston".

***Hey guys! Long time no see! Sorry about that, again! I reread what I last posted and I got really angry at myself for you guys because I didn't even remember that I'd left you with THAT much of a cliffhanger. :P Soooooorry! I'm just taking my final exams right now and also that's exactly the time my social life decided to get super-crazy so I've been forced to abandon all my writing for weeks now. It was nice to come back and write something non-school-related. Also, this is an extra long chapter to make up for the wait and I'm guessing most of you rather liked what happened even if they feel the need to strangle a certain doctor and his smart-ass-remarks. ;) I know i say this everytime but PLEASE, guys, REVIEW - it's really important to me. I've decided to dedicate the chapters to the person whose comment on the last chapter I liked most - hope that's a motivation! :) **

**Ok, I hope you enjoyed readon, aren't forgetting to comment and having a great day!**

**XOXO**

**Layla**


	26. Chapter 21

**This chapter is dedicated to "Emilee Amethyst" because I loved her comment on the last chapter the most. Thank you so much! **

**Play "All these lives" by Daughtry**

For a moment, Spencer freezes in place and strongly consideres pressing the red button to end whatever hold Wren has on her relationship with Toby at the moment, before, recollecting what she's told him about calling her and him threatening to press charges, she thinks better of it and decides to answer the call in order to do damage control.

"I need to take this, Toby, I promised he could call and he might press charges against you if I don't take care of this," she explains before picking up without giving him a chance to reply.

"Hello, Wren?"

"Spencer…" Even just saying this one word Wren's voice sounds weak and strained and she instinctively knows that he wouldn't be calling if he wasn't absolutely feeling like shit right now.

Despite all of his smart-ass comments today and his stupidity, she knows that Wren's a good guy and he doesn't mean to do any harm which is why she might be able to convince him to lay off of Toby. No matter how mad he is at her, she's pretty sure he wants only what's best for her – and that is Toby being free.

"Wren, what is it? Are you alright?" she asks in a worried voice that has Toby looking up with a hurt expression. She's feeling conflicted right now in this bizarre the phone with her former crush while sitting opposite her boyfriend who's just punched said crush's face.

"No. I'm not feeling too good. I…" his weak voice trails off and she furrows her forehead in worry.

"Ok," she tells him, actually meaning "I'll come over" but not wanting to suggest it in front of Toby, trying to spare his feelings – she's trying very hard not to hurt either of the two men but begins to notice that this is an impossible task.

"If I had anyone else to call…" he says and she knows that confident Wren, always trying to appear strong, is having a hard time asking her for help and it must really be bad.

"No, no, Wren, I'll come over. I might need to take you to the hospital after all," she adds for Toby's benefit.

Toby gets up, the romantic mood between them having vanished the second Wren's name flashed on the caller I.D..  
>After hanging up with Wren, the goodbye with Toby is strained and very awkward and she dashes out as fast as she can after making sure that everyone in the house seems to be asleep.<p>

Before she can drive off, however, she gets a text.

"Spencer's torn between the doctor and the town's creep. I might have to make that decision for you. Or you'll just be left with neither of them. –A"

Her feelings for Wren are pretty much sorted out now, at least the fight solved that. What she told Toby was the truth: she really wasn't going to kiss Wren. She loves Toby. Wren's in the past and she likes him as a person but nothing more.

When she gets to Wren's house, the lights are shut off everywhere which gives the house the impression of being empty.

Ringing the doorbell, she doesn't get an answer but seconds later Wren sends her a text to come in with the spare key and the location of it. He must not be feeling well at all.  
>When she enters, she can hear a little movement from upstairs and hesitantly moves past the unpacked boxes that tell her he hasn't been here for long.<p>

She finds Wren lying on his back in his bed in the dark bedroom, a washcloth thrown carelessly across his head.

"Hey, Wren!" she whispers upon entering.

"Hey." She immediately walks over to him – which is when she notices that he isn't wearing a shirt. She uncomfortable clears her throat and tries to ignore it.

"Do you need anything?"

"Not right now," he mutters. She drapes the covers fully around him and tucks them around him like she'd do for a little kid. She notices that there are goosebumps on his arm.

"Are you cold?" she asks him. He shrugs which she takes as a yes.

Removing the cloth from his head she gently wipes his forehead dry with the corner of his blanket.

"Have you been throwing up?"

"I'm the doctor here, Spencer," he attempts a joke and smiles weakly at her.

"Maybe I need to take you to the hospital after all," she says. He shakes his head.  
>"I'll be ok. I just hoped that your company might make it better."<p>

She ignores the flirty ring to his words and busies herself with fixing the towel he's placed beside his head.

**Play "We've got tonight" by Ronan Keeting**

"I'm sorry, Spencer."

Despite of what she'd actually planned her eyes shoot over towards him in curiosity.

"Sorry about what?"

"A lot of things," he says quietly, "But right now I meant about provoking the boy. I knew what would happen if I kept talking but I did it anyway."

Spencer is so startled that she doesn't even notice or mind the usage of the word "boy" – she is truly in awe that Wren not only admits to having provoked Toby but also that he takes part of the blame. She is strangely moved by this. She knows that with an ego like Wren's and having gotten punched in the face – which of course puts some blame on Toby – this admission must be super difficult.

"Well, it didn't exactly end well for you, did it?" she replies, trying and failing to seem unaffected.

Wren chuckles and then flinches from the movement.

"Look, Spencer, the last thing I want is for you to get hurt. Which is why I'm not going to be pressing charges. I can tell how much he means to you and I'm not going to sabotage that because I was too stupid to realize what I had in you."

It's uncomfortable to be looking into Wren's eyes at this confession but it's impossible to look away from their sincerity and the emotions in them while trying to grasp what he first said. He's not going to press charges!

A huge wave of relief and gratitude overwhelms Spencer and without really thinking, she takes Wren's hand and gives it a gentle squeeze.

She doesn't really know what to say to the rest of that confession and he doesn't seem to expect her to say something but he holds on to her hand. Despite of him freezing his hands are warm and they feel big in comparison to hers – even though she doesn't feel anything romantic towards the young doctor, she really enjoys holding his hand.

There are no more words exchanged between them for a while. Wren seems content lying on his back and not moving and Spencer looks from his face to her hand in his. For some reason, this does not feel at all uncomfortable like she had feared.

Wren is a good guy and it pains her to be giving him pain – he doesn't deserve the way she'd treated him. After a couple of minutes that's what she tells him.

"I'm sorry, too, Wren. I haven't always been as clear about this as I should have be…"

"None of this is your fault," he interrupts gently, his british accent making the words even softer than they already were.

"But I…"

"Spencer," he smiles but for the first time she can see the pain in his expression – the pain of rejection, the pain of the person you're interested in being with someone else. She feels sorry for him and lowers her head but quickly looks back up as he continues, "you did absolutely nothing wrong. I shouldn't have kissed you when I was engaged to your sister. I shouldn't have left the way I did and I should have made sure to let you know how I felt from the beginning."

There they are – sentences she's always wanted to hear. Past issues being resolved – only that it's too late for them now. Only a couple of months ago she would have given anything to have him tell her what he felt, for him to hold her hand, for him to be chasing her.

"Wren…" her voice sounds pained and when she opens her mouth, she doesn't know what to say to him. She can't break his heart but she can't encourage him either.

"I know, Spencer, I know."

Wren finally looks away and Spencer has some much-needed time to collect herself – it doesn't seem she's as over this issue as she thought she was. His honest whispered words have brought her feelings into a tumult, have stirred up the things she's stored away. Put away with good reason. This should feel more wrong that it does.

He's his sister's ex-fiancé who cheated on Melissa with her and subsequently left town only to come back because of her – and she's taken, at least she thinks so. How did things ever get so complicated?!

This being one of the few moments where Spencer Hasting has no idea what to say, the room remains silent. After a while Spencer gets up to get a new washcloth drenched in cold water to cool Wren's head.

His eyes are closed when she returns and she ever so softly lowers the fabric onto his head, carefully and softly brushing his dark hair from his forehead.

"You can sit on the bed, you know," he says without opening his eyes and scoots over.

"I don't know, Wren, I should probably go…"

"Spencer, I'm not asking you to come cuddle, I'm just saying make yourself comfortable."

Just like that and with a gentle smile the Wren she knows is back and Spencer sits on the bed without letting go of his hand, leaning back against the head part of it.

The dark room is silent from now on, all that's audible being their breathing. Spencer feels increasingly tired with every breath she takes but her thoughts prevent her from relaxing. She can't help but wonder why her and Wren never got a chance to really try, and what would have happened if they did.

She knows these thoughts make no sense at all and she isn't regretting getting together with Toby, she's still very much in love with him, but she can't help but wonder about this.

Sometime later she must have fallen asleep because she wakes up from the pling of a text message. Disoriented, she looks around the room and realizes with a start that it's already the beginning morning. She's slid down the headboard a little and Wren is leaning against her, his eyes are closed and he appears to be sleeping. Their intertwined hands are resting on his bare chest and Spencer doesn't want to move as to avoid waking up.  
>Feeling guilty towards Toby even though nothing happened and stretching her sore neck Spencer manages to grab her phone. When she reads "Hannah Marin" on the screen she breathes a sigh of relief – not A!<p>

Her friend wants to know if they'll do something today since it's the weekend and Spencer replies that she's free in the afternoon. Before she can throw her phone to the side again her phone signalizes another text. Unknown.

**Play "Run to the Hills" by Iron Maiden (a little old school maybe but it works)**

"Look at you, having a heart to heart with Melissa's ex. Remember what happened to another one of them, Ian? You better make sure you keep an eye on this one or they might share the same fate. And you better make sure Toby doesn't hear about this. –A"

Spencer's heart seems to race and she gets up from the bed with some difficulty, by some miracle managing not to wake her sleeping companion.

What does A want? Why are they referring to Ian? What does this threat mean? They want her to keep an eye on Wren and not to tell Toby about it?

The memory of Ian and that dreadful night at the church makes Spencer flinch. The thought fills her with dread and causes goosebumps to rise on her arms. Is that a death threat towards Wren?

Looking at him, innocently and unknowingly on the bed, she shivers.

What the hell does A want?

To busy and distract herself and because she feels like leaving without checking on him or saying goodbye would be weird she goes downstairs and finds a piece of bread and some water for her patient.

When she comes back, Wren seems to be waking up. His eyelids flutter and when he sees her by the door, he gives her an adorable, happy smile that makes her heart skip a beat.

"Morning," he says and his voice already sounds better.

"Morning! How are you feeling?" she asks him with a smile while carrying her tray over to the bed.

"Much better, thank you," he replies in his usual polite way.

Spencer is a little distracted because she can't stop thinking about A's threat and what it actually means. The way she understood it she can't tell Toby about A blackmailing her and she's supposed to keep an eye on Wren. What does that even mean? And what does A want?

Wren sits up a little straighter on the bed so he's leaning against the headboard, and places the tray on his lap.

Spencer watches absentmindedly as he takes a few sips from the glass of water and even bites into the bread she's found in his kitchen.

Wren doesn't comment on her absence of mind while he, very slowly, drinks and eats.

Suddenly Spencer shoots up from the chair she's been sitting on motionlessly.

**Play "Pieces of me" by Ashlee Simpson **

"Shit!"

"What is it?"

"I totally forgot I'm grounded and my parents can't know I left the house."

Spencer starts running around the room, collecting her stuff and making sure she isn't forgetting anything.

"Are you gonna be ok on your own for now?"

Wren nods reassuringly.

With a hurried goodbye and "get well and call me when there's something wrong"s Spencer dashes out of the house, to her car and races down the street. When she gets to her house she realizes with great relief that none of her family's cars are in the driveway – since she also doesn't have any angry phonecalls from her mother she knows she got away with sneaking out last night and breathes a huge sigh of relief,

When she's about to get out of her car, she sees Toby coming out from the path which leads up to her slide door. He also seems to see her and both of them freeze in their motions. Spencer's heart starts racing with a mixture of happiness and unreasonable guilt but most of all longing and desire for her boyfriend.

Worried that he might think wrongly about her just getting home just now, Spencer suddenly unfreezes, gets out and rushes towards him.

Toby comes to meet her halfway while Spencer feels like they're moving in slow motion and her heart is racing in her chest. She wants nothing more than to run into his arms and feel his warmth and support after the stressful last days without him.

When Toby slightly opens his arms, that's all Spencer does. She literally runs into his arms, presses her head into his chest and wraps her arms tightly around his waist because she never wants to let ago again.

"Nothing happened with Wren, I promise. I just fell asleep," she mutters, her voice quiet because her face is pressed into her chest.

"I missed you," he says while he holds her tight and Spencer knows in her heart that there is no place she's rather be even despite of all the things left unsaid and the secrets between them. She knows he doesn't mean missing her because he hasn't seen her but missing this, them, their relationship, the love.

"I missed you, too. So much," she admits before lifting her head and pressing her lips to his in a passionate kiss full of longing and love. And for that moment it feels like everything's right in the world, all worries are forgotten and all that's left is her love for him.

*AN: **Ok, guys, here we are. This time I didn't take very long, did it? And I'm guessing you'll like the sweet reunion at the end. Think you can reward me with some extra love in the form of reviews? ;) What do you guys think? A's threat is not off the table, Wren's actually a nice guy and we still don't know what Toby's secret is. So not a happy ending yet? You'll only know when you keep reading! ****J****I am now done with my final exams so I hopefully have some time now. Don't forget to REVIEW, please! Love you guys!**

**Xxx**

**Layla**


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